Post natal insomnia: I can't do this any more

[Pinkmoon33]

I have a 7 month old and for the past week I have been unable to get back to sleep after he wakes me up at night. His sleep has been awful since the 4 month regression but recently has got better. Which is why this is so devastating. I am so tired and I just can't do this. I lay awake last night for 6 hours with my heart pounding and getting more and more agitated as time moved on. He is a very active baby during the day and can be demanding so requires alot of energy which I can't give right now. I got myself into a real state last night so my husband is staying home from work to take care of us. I keep thinking that I just want to have some relief from this endless exhaustion and endless guilt for letting everyone down. I just want sleep and I can't. I think I am going mad. I have no one to help me but my husband either so I am just a burden to him now. Please tell me how I can get to sleep.

You poor thing. Have you spoken to your GP?

I don't have any magic solutions, but I couldn't read your post and ignore it. Hopefully some more experienced posters will be along soon. Could you get a gp appointment this week and talk to them. There might be something they can do or prescribe.
I try and practice some basic mindfulness. I struggled to sleep with my eldest ds (not to the extent you are) and found focussing on getting to sleep was a problem. I now have another ds and when I go to bed I have the mantra 'It doesn't matter if I sleep, I just need to rest'. That has taken the pressure off and actually helps me sleep. I also take 4 deep slow breaths and focus on the air going all the way to my toes and back out. I then take some more deep breaths and try and release tension with each one (scalp, eyes, jawline, shoulders). I then try and do some mindfulness where I am aware of my body and work from the bottom up e.g focussing on the feeling of my foot on the mattress and the duvet. These are all strategies cobbled together from bits of mindfulness courses done at work. I know there are mindfulness scripts etc on the internet that you could try and listen to to help.
The most important thing is to remember you are doing a fabulous job. Parenting in these early years is relentlessly hard. You should have no guilt. It does get easier and this will be a phase that passes, although I do understand how bleak things can look at the time. Keep talking about how you are feeling to your husband and others. He will want to support you and will not see you as a burden. Be kind to yourself

I had this! Utterly infuriating. So tired, no sleep at night. It’s exhausting. I really feel for you.

A couple of things I tried, with varying results was to just accept it. Get up, read a book, watch tv, do something. I also stopped clock watching. I found this made me stop feeling anxious and I would drift off better. I still have bouts of it, but I try to use the time productively as I found it helped.

The best thing was for OH to get baby in the night so I never fully woke up and could get back to sleep.

Pregnant women have a special hormone that allows us to get back to sleep quickly and into REM sleep during pregnancy and for six months after. By this point, that may mean it’s harder to get back to sleep.

You will get passed this! Until then, get lots of support from you partner. I hope it gets better soon

Have you had your thyroid checked. Insomnia can be a sign of an imbalance.

I also had this, it made me feel like I was going insane. The GP prescribed me a beta blocker I could take breastfeeding. It helped stop the heart pounding and helped somewhat but I only asked for help very late on and it was starting to get better on its own when the baby started sleeping better. The light evenings didn't help, I started wearing an eye mask too when I slept. You have my sympathy and I hope it gets better for you soon.

Also forgot to say, my friend had this and took magnesium supplements which she said really helped. I will do this if I have more children and it happens again

I didn’t have post natal insomnia but have developed it over the last few years.
It’s shit.
The first episode I had really messed me up. I got so anxious about not sleeping that it completely took over my life for a while.
I take magnesium, I think it helps.
I have a prescription for low dose propanalol which helps keep the anxiety and adrenaline rushes to a minimum.
I also take low dose cbd and cbg oils which I believe help me sleep and keep the anxiety around sleep on a more even keel.
I agree with not fighting it.
It helps me to simply accept at a certain point that I’m probably not sleeping tonight. It’s stops the anxious fretting and adrenaline overload that makes me feel so awful the next day.
They do say have a good routine and make sure you get lots of sunlight during the day. Mindfulness didn’t work for me as it felt like I was simply dwelling on the issue and it made it worse.

Hi op i have been there and fully understand how horrific it is. Please talk to your gp.
What helped me was sleeping tablets initially (potentially not suitable if you are bfeeding although ive read that some people have took them and still been able to nurse?!) and a beta blocker an hour before bed to calm the racing heart.
So sorry you are suffering.

Thank you for all your advice . I spoke to the gp but all they said was to nap in the day or get childcare so I can relax in the day. My son is currently taking a 2 hour nap and I still can't sleep. I've referred myself for cbt but theres a waiting list. Fuck this is like torture.

He's been waking me up at 1am and I lie awake for 6 hours trying to sleep.

Look up stimulus control therapy on google-really effective strategy xxx

Magnesium citrate (citrate is the easiest to absorb) - take 2 half an hour before bedtime. Fantastic for my insomnia - magnesium is required by the body to produce sleep hormones and often people are deficient (especially alongside digestion issues). Holland & Barrett sells a great one in a white bottle with yellow cap.