My DS2 is going to turn 1 in a few weeks and for the last month I have been struggling with very low mood and feel like it’s getting to the point where it’s really getting me down and affecting the way I look after my two kids and relate to other people especially my husband. DS2 was born right at the start of the first lockdown and for all of his life so far there’s been some extent of restrictions. When he was a newborn I was very stressed about not being able to let my family meet him and when he was around 6 weeks old I felt terrifyingly down for a couple of weeks but it didn’t last longer than that and as restrictions eased too around the same time I felt better. I love him so much but I sometimes feel that I haven’t been able to give him as much attention / build as close a relationship with him as I did with my first, and I’ve worried about that on and off. In our second lockdown after Christmas I felt fine at first but since early February I just struggle to do anything with the kids, I feel like I just want to stick the tv on all the time, I am often teary, I shout more, get so impatient with them, and hardest of all to shake off I just feel dull and down a lot of the time and like I can’t muster any enthusiasm for anything. I’m mostly a SAHM although I work very part time, I’ve just gone back after maternity leave and I’ve struggled with that too although it has been nice being out doing something different. I know this has been a hard year for everyone and I know things are slowly improving now COVID wise but I don’t know if I need to see someone to address how I’ve been feeling the last few weeks as I’ve been fairly constantly low, and feel it’s to the detriment of both kids especially DS2 who I now have time one on one with at last with school back but I feel I can’t make the most of it, I’m just trapped in feeling down, looking at my phone too much, overeating and feeling bad even while I do that this is the last of his babyhood, he’s going to turn one and I’m not making the most of it. I’ve always struggled a little bit with anxiety but this feels different much more down, maybe more likely to be some level of depression and I really want to do all I can if I need to to make things better for my family.