I’m not sure if this is normal, or due to lockdown or a whole range of things.
My son is now 1 and initially things were fine. From around 6 months onwards, I have been finding myself increasingly irritated by my partner. We have pretty much no time alone, I find that he is always ‘on’ when it comes to being happy and funny (whereas I am frequently exhausted and overwhelmed) and some of the things I used to love, now annoy me.
I feel horrendously guilty about this. He is such a great guy, so caring, kind, intelligent and interesting. I am fully aware of how lucky I am. I used to make so much effort but now, I frankly can’t be bothered. Pre-baby me would be shocked at how I look around him now.
It comes down to ridiculously petty things such as...occasionally he says words in a silly almost babyish voice which I no longer find ok- I just find it annoying and immature and a complete turn-off.
I appreciate that I sound like a cold-hearted bore but it’s like something has switched within me and I haven’t got time for sillyness.
I used to laugh and joke with him but now his jokes feel predictable and just annoying.
Gosh I hate that I feel like this. Did this happen to anyone else?!?! I miss my partner and the relationship we had and the way that I feel now (disconnected and bored) is hugely anxiety-provoking. I feel like I avoid him and constantly ‘check’ how I feel. I just want things to go back to normal.
To be honest, on the very rare occasion where it has been just us, I feel so much better. It’s almost like our roles of now being a mum and dad have freaked me out because everything now feels so serious, so intense and frankly I feel completely trapped. Not by my partner, but by my life. All of the opportunities i couldve had now feel impossible.
Has anyone had any experience of this at all?