postpartum anxiety

[kails90]

hello

This is my first time ever posting on here or well anything actually, my ds is 2 and my dd is nearly 6 months old.

a week ago I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and have been referred for cbt which is great, my reasons for getting help is a few days before I had intense anxiety that I have a brain tumour (feel so silly to say it as, especially as there are people going through it) the gp i saw was lovely checked me over and said she had no concerns of a brain tumour which is great, but my anxiety has been eating away at me daily that iam going to die and leave my beautiful family, I have been experiencing anxiety headaches painful muscles and tingle hands

iam finding it hard to find much on Google about this I wonder if anyone else has felt like this before and iam not alone

I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety that resulted in me obsessing about death. I didn’t get cbt because Lockdown resulted in postpartum mh referrals being rationed to the most urgent cases, but I was encouraged to go outside and force myself to stay in the present by taking photos or describing things / colours / shapes to the baby. Taking photos actually saved me from spinning into depression as it stopped me obsessing.

Thankyou so much for your reply :) have noted your tips :)

I have this too. It was getting slightly better and then corona struck. I am so convinced I'm going to die. It has taken over my life.

I think I have something and then get checked and when they tell me it's fine I move on to something else. It's unbearable.

I vision my children crying for me and I'm dead and they are so terrified and confused.

Tomorrow when my oldest goes back to school I will be calling the doctor. It's gone on for too long.

Not sure if you have exactly the same but it is awful and I sympathise completely

I have this. My children are 9 and 5 and I've had it since the birth of my youngest. I've never seeker help but the past year (since covid) it has gotten out of control. I am just like you described, always think I have a illness that is going to kill me and then move on to the next thing. The anxiety is killing me. I wake up in the night crying.
I have an appointment tomorrow with the gp because last week I just decided I can't go on living like this anymore. to you I know how hard it is

oooooo thankyou so much for your reply,
just horrible thoughts of leaving them, hope it ends for me soon, and I hope it gets better for you guys and gp appointments go well and you get lots of support, thankyou so much again 💐

Are you going to speak to your GP? I have had it for 4 1/2 years since my first DC. I remember a friend saying she felt the same (she was a single parent and worried about leaving her DC) so I knew it's not completely unusual.

my gp will call me again tomorrow to check in so iam going to talk to her about my anxiety headaches ect aswell, I dont know anyone who has had this, its comforting in a way to know iam not alone though, but I do believe iam obsessing over nothing, hope you go to see your gp thats a very long time to feel this way, bless you

Yes I had health related anxiety after my youngest was born. It was awful and I really feel for you. I read up about health anxiety and how to overcome it which really helped me. One of the best tips was to stop googling and checking symptoms. Easier said than done I know, but it did make a difference.

I would also say that drs are not particularly good at dealing with health related anxiety . I guess because of their job and their understanding of what is and isn't a serious symptom. But I think that can mean they don't see how it is just as debilitating as other types of anxiety.

Would you consider an anti depressant? I found they gave me the lift I needed to get on top of the anxiety and get my thinking straight. It then became the opposite of a viscous cycle IYSWIM.

You're definitely not alone though

I am also struggling with this at the minute. I gave birth last March and then lockdown struck and I went into a dreadful spiral. I then had some genuine health issues, resolved now, but since then it has spiralled and I am constantly worried about different illnesses.
It's exhausting isnt it.

thanks so much for your replys :) they are comforting

@scaredsadandstuck I did accept the offer of antidepressants but know iam worried about taking them with my breast feeding 😅 I know that the gp wouldn't prescribe anything harmful though and I do see what you mean about the GPS and health anxiety lol though she has been very kind, and I have stopped googling!!!!

@GentlyGentlyOhDear yes very exhausting 😴

I've just had my sign up session for cbt feel really good already, have been diagnosed with health anxiety, about it all and some of the questions were really comforting in that it described exactly my feelings and how obsessive the feelings are when you have say a new feeling in your body that actually you probably have had before or that are just your body doing its thing but because you have noticed it your mind is fixated on it and making you think you have any illnesses you can get, highly recommend going to your gp and asking about cbt or other support 💐

thanks again for your responses 💐

I have just started sertraline (yesterday!) and I am breastfeeding. However my DS is 19 months so not that often!

I am worried too, but think that's part of the issue isn't it 😩

@ijokeijoke sadly can't take sertraline so have been prescribed citalopram gp said its basically the same, but yes it is all part of the anxiety game iam tanderm feeding my 2 year (real boob monster but mainly has it before sleep) and my baby, I have 2 friends that have used sertraline through bf and one of them used during pregnancy both babes are pictures of health

You've literally wrote exactly what I feel like I've been going through! My DS has just gone 4 month and for around the last 2 month the thoughts of bad health and death have took over my life! I'm keep convincing myself ive got some sort of health problem, to the point I'm actually having non existent symptoms (but what feel so real!) A few weeks after I'd gave birth I felt "strange" down below (disregarded the fact id just gave birth with episiotomy and forceps delivery 3 weeks prior) so turned to Google and came across the triple prolapse, thought I'd had the same symptoms, so self diagnosed myself as having a triple prolapse. My anxiety then sky-rocketed to the point where I was too frightened to go see a GP, scared incase of what they'd say, but then also terrified incase I did in fact, have an undiagnosed prolapse. Anyway, I left it and the symptoms seemed to ease but then they came back, that "strange" feeling. I tried to ignore but it got worse and worse. Now im 110% convinced that I most definitely had a prolapse! So I bit the bullet and went to see a GP. She examined me and there wasn't a THING wrong with me, no sign whatsoever of a prolapse. It was like a weight had been lifted. Now, the weirdest thing is, since seeing the GP, I've never once had that feeling, its totally disappeared! But now I know the anxiety is starting again because I'm also convincing myself that I've got a brain tumor because I've been getting a little pain in the top of my head. Any little pain or niggle I'm convincing myself its something serious and I'm going to die, its so, so exhausting!

Btw, very sorry about the novel, just needed to offload to someone who will probably understand what I'm going through!

Hope you're okay! Xx

Hello so sorry you are going through this. I had my DD1 5 years ago and almost went into PND. got better but then about a year later I started getting really bad separation anxiety from my husband. If he left to go anywhere I became convinced he'd die in accident. I had proper panic attacks every single day between 5 and 5.30pm when he was on his way to catch his train from work as I was convinced he'd get killed in an accident. It was awful. I also couldn't bear to leave him and my DD alone, even just for popping to the shops for mins. I had to have therapy and went on citalopram. It got better after that, around the time DD was 3. I also had hypochondria when I was in my 20s and know how debilitating and exhausting that can be.
You're doing all you can and it will get better. You have two such small kids, it's a hugely stressful time for you, anxiety is a response to that.
I'm on 10ml citalopram while breastfeeding, it is safe to take.
You are definitely not alone.

I haven't been properly diagnosed with Postnatal anxiety by the GP but I think I have it. My baby is 5 months old. My issue is with breastfeeding, worrying that I cannot feed my baby, and the lack of let down. I work myself into a spiral where I have an anxiety attack thinking that I won't have a letdown and then because I'm so stressed and anxious, I indeed don't have a letdown / letdown is very much delayed, so I spend a nursing session being an anxious mess. I also obsessively try to feel a letdown (even though I am fully aware that I may not feel it) - so when I don't feel it, I again spiral into anxiety. I get all the classic symptoms of an anxiety attack - sweats, hot flashes, racing heart, dizziness etc.

I am having CBT after being referred by my GP after my 8 weeks check (that was more general low mood after birth) - I had CBT before but not finding it is helping very much at the moment.

I love BF and don't really want to stop, but I feel like it contributes to my anxiety and of course I worry about my baby's health, if I am not able to feed him properly.

If anyone has similar experience please do share.

Hi, jumping on this thread as I just gave borth two weeks ago and my health anxiety is insane! Did any of you who went through this get better? If so, any tips?

I went through this before my first was born, thank god I did (as strange as that sounds) because when it came back after my little girl was born I was kind of prepared for it. Only it’s now shifted from me to my little girl, anything wrong with her and I automatically go straight to the worst case scenario.
You have my full sympathies because it is a horrible horrible form of anxiety, I have anxiety about most things but the health aspect is the absolute worst for me ❤️

Something that has helped me recently has been stopping to think about the state of affairs right now, at this moment. So right now my sons and husband are sleeping in their safe, warm beds. Focusing on the present moment has helped a surprising amount, although it hasn’t taken the anxiety away completely.

This is an old post, but getting it out there helps. I too suffer with postpartum anxiety and afraid of dying, leaving my children behind and family etc. Worried that they may get a terrible illness too. It’s just awful, I know exactly how you feel. I have so many intrusive thoughts picturing me really poorly. It doesn’t help that I have had problems with my left boob so I’m worried it’s advanced cancer etc. Being a district nurse doesn’t help. It’s so easy for your worries to take over your life. But know you are not alone. With it being an old post I hope it settled down for you. I am currently on CBT and love it! The lady I speak to is so kind and helpful and the coping strategies have helped me so much.

Thankyou
Katie
xx