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Postnatal health

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PND husband doesn't seem to understand

2 replies

StrangerThings85 · 05/03/2021 10:05

Hi,

I was diagnosed with PND a few weeks ago, I have an 8 month old. I love him to bits but there are days where I feel like a dark cloud is over me and I become withdrawn, irritable and very down. My husband is supportive but I don't think he fully understands. He's just asked me "What can I do because we can't keep going on like this" and I didn't know the answer. He keeps asking me for decisions about our baby "who's going to put him down for his first nap?", "What time shall we put him down", etc and things like that and I'm fed up of always being the one that decides on our child's routine. He's now in a huff and won't speak to me because I'm being down. I've just bawled my eyes out in the shower. I feel so alone. We had a great marriage before and now it just feels like it's crumbling away. He's being really clingy for affection too. I'm not in the mood for sex whatsoever but a hug will turn into him touching my boob and I get so annoyed. He knows I'm not in the mood for sex, I just don't think he can help himself. He's a lovely husband, I just don't think he understands what I'm going through right now. I'm currently doing CBT to help x

OP posts:
sausagesandbeanz · 05/03/2021 14:35

Hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
All I can say is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you truly want it.

BUT you need to tell your DH straight how you feel, what you need from him, how much of a pilock he can be when it comes to simple decisions which would help you massively.

It can't get much worse from here, you need the support, he should be giving it to you.

It will get better, I promise!

Sillymummies123 · 06/03/2021 17:24

I don’t know your husband. Your description makes him sound a bit unempathetic and basic. However - depression of any kind can warp your perception of another’s feelings towards you. It is POSSIBLE that he isn’t actually as angry or disappointed with you as it might feel right now (it’s possible he is, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt). If he was - that would be a nasty thing to be doing. Depression is serious and in 2021 there’s no real reason to be ignorant of it.

Can anyone watch baby for a day or so for you both to have some quality time? He’s obviously struggling too ( the clingy thing ) and if you were strongly bonded before then some time together might help x

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