Postnatal insomnia

[Jinglebellbop]

help!

I've just had another totally sleepless night. Baby is sleeping through but I can't. I have more bad nights than good these days and when I do sleep it's often only a couple of hours a night at best. I was always a really good sleeper before so I feel totally lost with how to deal with this.

I've tried: meditation, good sleep hygiene, a sleep routine, magnesium supplement, yoga, hot bath before bed, camomile tea, no caffeine during the day, exercise, fresh air, sleep podcasts, getting up and reading, wine (ha). The GP won't give me any pills because I'm breastfeeding, apart from.an antihistamine that did nothing for me. I am going out of mind - I get so tired during the day, bit as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm wired.

I think there are a few different things going on, and lockdown is certainly one of them. Every day is the fucking same and I do nothing that tires out my mind or body. I am constantly stressed because of looking after the baby and having had absolutely no help whatsoever (born in April 2020).

Has anyone successfully gotten over episodes of insomnia?

Help!

I have no tips but I am in the same position. Baby born March 2020 but I've been back at work since October.

I'm a teacher and I thought it was too much screen time, teaching on the computer all day then planning until late at night but it's the holidays and the same thing. I'm shattered but when it comes to sleep I'm wired.

I've tried all the things you have. My next plan is to get some exercise outside everyday. I have a 4 year old so we can't get very far but I'm trying to train her to go fast on her bike so I can run after her.

Doesn't help that the baby is currently getting up at 5 am. Usually only a couple of hours after I've finally gone to sleep.

Oh my, I feel for you. I had this terrrrrribly with my first, it was so bad one night I went out for a drive and sat near a cliff... I’m not exaggerating.

But, it got better and now it’s fine.

How old is baby? Is breastfeeding something you would like to continue? I occasionally took a sleeping pill and then didn’t feed for 12 hours- if that something you could check withy out GP?

I would say CBT for insomnia helped me, I got that on the NHS. They say if you aren’t asleep after 20 min of trying get out of bed, do something calming for 15 min and than try again. I would avoid caffeine after lunch time.

Gosh it’s so terribly, I feel for you. But mine passed and so will yours.

Oh you poor thing. I had this last time and am fully expecting this time too! (35 weeks at the mo) it has come back in pregnancy a bit but I have managed it with headphones and Harry Potter audio books!

My poor GP at my 6 week check - I was a an absolute mess! Mine was totally hormonal. My periods came back and boom I was better. It still plays on your mind though (what if I can’t sleep?!) and don’t think it will ever go - the fear that is!

I wasn’t breastfeeding so I got sleeping tablets and did a couple of days of them every now and then. What also helped me was melatonin. I got this from a friend who was in America at the time - he used for jet lag and travelling - I don’t know if the doctor would prescribe you that but it did help when I was feeling anxious about sleeping.... I had to wean myself off of it eventually - not physically but mentally worrying about sleep! It was a long road but it does get better.

I’m going to buy myself a weighted blanket for my birthday and see if that helps. You have my sympathy - it’s hell. Could you try a sleeping tablet and not breast feed for a time period like suggested above?

I've been having terrible insomnia too (littlest born Dec 2019). I tried all those things too! Plus using a TENS machine which apparently can help some people but did nothing for me. I've recently started talking valerian an hour or so before bed and it helps a bit. It's advised not to be taken with breastfeeding as there isn't much research but my DS doesn't feed much more and I was very desperate. The antihistamine the gp prescribed does help me too but leaves me feeling terrible the next day so I very rarely take it. It sounds like CBT can be effective but my GP hasn't offered that so I assume there's a long waiting list.

@Excitablemuch

I had it horrifically with my first, and not at all after my second was born! So there’s hope!!

Thanks so much everyone. This really is torture. I know it has to come from me but I've never had episodes go on this long before and I feel at a loss as to what to do! But weirdly it does help to know I'm not alone. In my more melodramatic moments I do wonder whether I could die from this little sleep...but it's helpful to know people come through the other side.

I am having another phone consultation with GP today, which will be slightly more desperate than the last... I will let you know what they suggest.

@OverTheRainbow88 baby is 10m. I wanted to breastfeed til 12m ideally but there really isn't any point prioritising that if I am a dead woman walking the whole time. We have discussed me stopping, at least occasionally so I can sleep in (she currently feeds at 7am). I think we are very close to making this decision. I am due to get my appointment through for a CBT course with NHS, but it's been delayed due to a clinician being on leave. I sent a slightly desperate email in the wee hours this morning so I'm hoping this does the trick. I'm really interested in CBT as I know pills aren't the answer long term. I do try getting up and going back to bed but it never seems to help...I just lie here.

@Excitablemuch the GP did mention melatonin actually but then when I asked if compatible with breastfeeding she said no. I do feel breastfeeding has a lot to answer for generally, but weirdly I was getting much more sleep when she was waking twice a night than now she's sleeping through. It's so awful because all I did for months was fantasise about getting 8hrs uninterrupted sleep... And now this!

@misstoblerone85 gosh it must be so hard with two, and back at work too. You honestly sound like superwoman to me. Yes I am going to ratchet up the exercise too, a walk just isn't cutting it.

@LBTM I self referred for the CBT course, I wonder if you can do that in your area? Ask your GP if there are any services like that you can access. I know it won't help you right now, but worth knowing that if you have a baby under 1 you are fast tracked for this kind of thing, so worth asking for help as soon as poss.

Anyway I haven't actually started it yet so can't vouch for its effectiveness...

I can't sleep again. I called the GP in desperation and they prescribed me zopiclone, which did work yesterday but I don't want to take it every night. I know it's not a long term solution. I have also bought a sleep hypnosis book. I've tried several exercises and still can't sleep. I feel very broken.

Not sure why I'm here again, insomnia is just so lonely. I'm so worried about how it's affecting how well I care for my baby. She deserves better than a zombie for a mother. My partner is helping out massively, taking on lots of the burden - I also feel bad about that. I feel like I'm failing, having to constantly ask for support while others simply get on with things. I've never struggled this much before. I'm just looking forward to tomorrow now when I can take the pills again.

Have you tried relaxation techniques when you go to bed? I struggle at times when my brain is just bouncing around and thinking about everything and won't let me slow down.

I do a mental 'body relaxation' thing. I start at my toes and concentrate on physically tensing and stretching them, then relax them, then move up to my calves, same again. Then knees. And work my way slowly up my body, thinking and concentrating on each part. It's a very relaxing/boring thing to do and I find it makes me slow down and stop thinking. If I've reached my ears and not asleep, then back to toes and slowly work up again.

For me it's my fail safe to get me to sleep and often remember that I've only got as far as my elbows for example, so works pretty quickly. I find I relax into it better if lying on my back and as soon as find myself thinking of anything else then focus back again. I literally bore myself to sleep!

That and sleeping with window open, a cool fresh bedroom definitely aids with sleep.

I have a 6mo baby and this tricks stop me lying there stressing about needing to go back to sleep before he wakes up again.

Fingers crossed for that something works OP, insomnia is just awful

I just haven’t been to bed tonight. Was finishing off some work for tomorrow and just kept going. I’m up for the day at 6 so it seems reasonable to assume I’m doing an all-nighter. DS was born in January 2020 and sleeps through now, but I still don’t.

I had pregnancy insomnia from very early on so I think it is just a continuation of that.

Exercise and fresh air works for me, especially in the evening. I limit caffeine after noon but I can’t cope with a complete ban.

@HighInTheHills thank you, yes I've tried a lot of different relaxation and meditation exercises. I find I am very relaxed but can't seem to make it over that last hurdle, to actually switch my concious brain off. I get really close but no cookie. By this point I'm just feeling hungry and hollow and so bored of trying and failing. I know the more I do this, the more I'm reinforcing this vicious cycle. It seemed to be alright at getting to sleep when baby was little, but now she sleeps through, I struggle so much. It's cruel.

@DisgruntledPelican sorry to hear you're in the same boat! I used to be fairly sure I could get a couple of hours from around 3am, but that doesn't seem the case anymore.

I used to be such a good sleeper. Too much sleep was my issue... Having a baby seems to have really screwed things up.

I've had a couple of episodes of very bad insomnia. Things that helped last time was using the Headspace app, it has a section dedicated to sleep with music / stories / relaxation exercises etc. .the stories really did help me to switch off and stopped me stressing about falling asleep. It's worth a try.
And I definitely found getting up and out of bed much more effective than staying in bed. I would get some warm milk and a book and sit on sofa and read, or watch TV for a bit, anythjng to break the anxiety. And often I'd fall asleep on the sofa.

Also, I don't know how these work with breastfeeding but amitriptyline and mirtazapine are both good for getting through bad patches. But if your GP hasn't suggested them then I guess they may not be right. They do work very well though! Better than zopiclone and not addictive.

Insomnia is awful! But it will get better and you will come out the other side it's just awful when you're in it.

Me too

@Jinglebellbop what about breathing exercises? That's my other fail safe. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5, breathe out for 5. Make sure you're counting every time to keep your mind focusing on the counting and not thinking of other things. More boring myself to sleep... think I'm seeing a pattern here! 😆

Does reading when you go to bed help at all? How about one of those white noise apps with rainfall or the like? Something with enough interest to keep you focused on it so your brain can't jump around, but soothing enough to lull you off to sleep.

Omg you are literally me right now OP! It’s 5.51am and I haven’t slept since 2, I went to bed at 9pm and fell asleep at 11.

I’m getting tired of life, I have had some pretty dark thoughts the last week, It’s pretty scary! I love my DD more than anything in this world, but there are times I have wished I didn’t have her recently.

I have sent her to family in the day, but that doesn’t really help me, PLUS I have had cancer so my immune system isn’t great and I worry for my health.

I am exhausted and tired of life at the moment, and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Weepy, fragile and hollow or completely numb.

And then the guilt.... oooohhh the guilt. I cried yesterday morning uncontrollably and my little munch was looking at me like “what’s the matter mommy?” I felt like the worst mother in the world.

I don’t know what to do anymore for myself, so I can’t really give you any suggestions, all I can say is, you’re not alone, even if like me, at times, you feel it.

All my Love xxx

@highinthehills I've been trying my hyonobirthing breathing (in for 4, hold, out for 8) which does help relax me. I find I can get super relaxed, I just stay in that place and don't switch over to sleep easily. I'm trying to relax about the whole thing though as I figure obsessing about it won't help. I'm going to try ear plugs to see if that helps, I've never got on with white noise before but maybe it's time to try again. I've always read a lot on bed but everything j read about insomnia says not to do this... But I figure I used to do that when my sleep was great so it's possible for me.

@Itsahardknocklife18 oh I'm so sorry to read this. It's awful isn't it, it impacts on absolutely all areas of your life. The guilt is terrible... But now I figure prioritising my sleep now will make me be a better parent in future. So I am making some selfish decisions in order to get better quicker. I also remember the mum mantra, 'its just a phase'. Even when it's really really hard, it's just temporary. It will get better

I took a pill again last night which helped. But ideally I want to practise falling asleep without them. I'm also trying to explore my anxiety during the day time and try to uncover the reason my body is reluctant to let go. I hope if I do this sleep will return...fingers crossed!

Thanks everyone for their advice and company. Insomnia is so lonely

@itsahardknocklife18 hello again, I've been thinking about your message - if you're struggling, please please speak to your GP. It is totally normal to struggle with caring for a baby, but in these times it's downright torture some days. But they can help, you don't need to do this by yourself. For so long I was so proud of how 'well' I was doing having had absolutely no help, but I think my recent sleeplessness goes to show I really haven't been. This last year has been a LOT to process and I think I'm only coming to terms with some of those things now. I've got some sleeping meds from the GP and also referred myself to our local mental health organisation for some CBT for the insomnia, perhaps something like this exists for you too?

Anyway, just wanted to say I've been thinking of you and know exactly how you feel. This is temporary and will get better x

@Jinglebellbop

Hi OP! Thank you so much for thinking of me, sometimes it’s hard to believe that anyone thinks of anyone else at all. But... knowing that you care is a comfort to me x

I have contacted my GP and they have prescribed me something to help and also referred me to the perrinatal mental health department in the hopes I can get some talk therapy x

I’m doing ok today, hubby had DD last night so managed to get a decent night thankfully.

I hope you’re doing ok, pop me a DM if you want to chat... us ladies need to stick together in these difficult times

Much Love xx

Hi jingle bell

i have the exact same issue

can you let me know did it improve

I feel like I’m going through hell?

thank You so much

Hi all, know this thread is old but just wanted to say I’m also in the same boat. My little girl is 16 weeks old, has slept through since 11.30 tonight and I’ve been awake all night. I now haven’t slept in over 24 hours. This is actual torture. I find myself wanting my baby to wake up so at least I’ll have something else to focus on!

@Booklover88 I hope yours resolved. I know this thread is now even older but here I am reading everyone's posts and feeling so much empathy for you all. I have terrible insomnia (25 years, episodic). DS is 15 months. I'm currently in a flare-up (what my old GP called it) and barely sleeping deeply at all for the last 3 weeks +. DH is taking all the nights (98% of the time DS sleeps 7.30-6). Even so its putting a strain on us. He even said today after an argument he's struggling because he's not getting more than 6h sleep a night. I know it's not a competition so I said nothing, but I am BROKEN on zero sleep. Nothing. 6h would be my literal dream. I'm getting mouth ulcers weekly from the run down of my body. DH can sleep at the drop of a hat and has had some nights of 7h, which is pretty much normal. What can you say. Felt like I had to offer to do a night even though it could push me into an even darker place. The guilt is insane. Parenting is hard. Insomnia is hard. Relationships are hard. Bleugh, hey.