Breastfeeding grief

[FiloFaxx]

It's been 9 weeks since I stopped breastfeeding due to weight issues and I still feel very sad about it to the point I was crying last night.

I EBF for 6 weeks and combi fed for 2 weeks then starting moving onto formula.

I'm not sure if this is because this is my second and last child that I'm feeling so sad about it. Breastfeeding didn't work out well the first time after a traumatic birth and after two weeks she was formula fed. I was sad for about a week then was fine as she was thriving and a lot better. This time it just feels so different and I can't get it out of my mind. To the point I've been looking at relactating.

Has anyone else felt the same?

Oh I really struggle with this. I express for my son but I don’t get anywhere like enough. I so wanted to breastfeed him

Oh I really feel you. I've still got milk as I've leaked a few times so so have thought about expressing. How are you doing it? I'm so sorry you're feeling like this too xx

It’s hard, and I’m struggling with it. I wanted to do until 6 months but I don’t think I’ll manage it.

How old is your son? My daughter is 17 weeks now so I'm thinking if I try it I may get myself more upset by it but not sure 🤔

Almost three months later I'm still struggling to come to terms with this has anyone felt the same?

Why Breastfeeding Grief and Trauma Matter (Pinter & Martin Why it Matters: 17) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1780666152/ref=cmswwrcppapiglttfabcHHH9VJ9YZDDX40J4N6KJ

I had all kinds of issues after breastfeeding didn't work out for us. For me I really struggled as I felt I hadn't done what was "best" for DS. I read a book called "guilt free bottle feeding" and it was brilliant.

Thank you both for your book suggestions, I'll check them out

@Mylittlesandwich I feel the same that I haven't done what's best for her. I've been coming to terms with it as she's got older but seems to be everytime someone mentions breastfeeding or if a friend has a newborn and she's starting to breastfeed it's triggering something in me.

@FiloFaxx then I 100% recommended that book.

It explains that a lot of breastfeeding research needs to be taken in context. The that yes, breast milk is superior but in a modern western country with access to safe water and sterilisation the difference is not huge. That the benefits in certain situations of FF may actually outweigh the benefits of BF. For example my DS was loosing weight and we couldn't work out why, yes we could have persevered and found out what was wrong and maybe we would have been able to BF but he wasn't thriving while we did that and neither was I.

He had reflux which I blamed myself for but the reality was he would have had it anyway and it was much easier to treat because he was bottle fed. I was on a FB group with other reflux parents and the ones BF seemed to have a harder time of it.

My DS is 17 months old now and nobody asks or cares how he was fed. He went to nursery at 8 months and he was happy with his formula and bottles, we didn't have any upset about what he was eating while he was there.

My Grandma still felt trauma when I had my children. Contact the NCT breastfeeding helpline - I supported many women who just needed to talk through their pain at not having been able to breastfeed sometimes decades later when their daughters breastfed their grandchildren.

@Mylittlesandwich that sounds like such a good book. We didn't have reflux but had similar issue that she wasn't gaining weight and the formula top ups helped her thrive and its whare kept her alive.

I've got a more rational head on today and it isn't bothering me as much but seems to be as soon as I hear about or see someone breastfeeding it triggers this feeling. That I should have pushed harder.

@FireworksAndSparklers I think I'll look at giving them a call thanks. So interesting what you're saying about your grandma and how mothers feel even decades later I don't want to feel that when my girls have children x