Postpartum anxiety?

[Milliemoo52]

Hello, I had my son 2 weeks ago today and I feel like I'm really struggling to bond with him. I had a tough pregnancy, my parents split when I was 12 weeks pregnant and at 20 weeks it was discovered that baby had kidney issues. I feel like this spoilt my pregnancy and I was unable to look forward to my little arrival.
So far he is quite a good baby however I'm so exhausted from night feeds as sometimes after he had been fed and changed it can take up to 2 hours to get him back to sleep and as much as my partner tries, I seem to be the only one that can get him to settle. Every time he wakes up from sleeping I feel really anxious that he will cry and I won't know how to stop him. I can't wait for him to go to sleep again so I can either do housework or sleep myself. I feel so terrible for feeling this way and I just have this constant fear in the pit of my stomach. I don't know what to do, I'm worried I'll feel like this forever. Any suggestions?

Oh darling girl - two weeks postpartum is a CRAZY time

Please don’t place too much value on anything your exhausted brain comes up with at the moment. It’s quite normal to feel anxious at this stage. Your poor brain will be trying to make sense of the madness that has just descended. Tell your brain to chill out and keep things as simple as you can - super hard to do, I know!

You need more sleep, absolute number 1 priority. Housework can wait - sleep is a million times more important.

It’s impossible to plan with a newborn at this stage, so try to train your DH to help you rest, and hopefully sleep, the SECOND baby does. And I mean the second! Don’t be tempted to quickly put a load of washing in, or unload the dishwasher. Just get straight into bed and shut your eyes.

Nobody can prepare you for how all consuming looking after a newborn is until it happens, it’s such a steep learning curve.

At the moment it’s unrealistic to get a long stretch of sleep - 3 hours is probably the maximum in my experience at that early stage.. often it’s more like 20 minutes! It’s horrendous, but it’s for a short while and it does pass I promise! I’m now at 12 weeks with DC2 and enjoying 6 or 7 hour stretches at night - bliss!

This madness will go on for a few more weeks yet, so dig deep, but you CAN do it - just chase every minute of sleep you can get, even a 7 minute nap is worth it!

Good luck honey x

It does get easier! Be kind to yourself at this point. Get plenty of sleep leave the housework drink out of baby bottles if you have too sleep and sanity is more important. I always slept when baby did. Partner slept and sterilised everything or helped me By cleaning when he could. It’s so tough it does pass soon. Don’t worry and overthink about bonding with baby yet. I had the same it’s normal. The worry is normal too as you have this new little life to look after and yourself. Just chill and watch Netflix with baby. That’s all I did oh and I soon realised a warm bath with baby on my chest helped us to bond aswell as it was the only time she chilled out and so did I

Sorry to hear you had a tough pregnancy. I had really horrid post natal anxiety after the birth of my DS, he's now 2. I didn't really know it was a thing at the time but I felt anxious all the time. So I promise you're not alone.
I didn't feel like I bonded with my DS for the first couple of months, I still have anxious days but 2yrs later we have such a strong bond. It will get better, make sure you speak to your friends or family. I wish I had as I think it would've really helped.

Sleep is your priority, once the baby is asleep you sleep. I was sleep deprived with my first for various reasons, with my second as soon as they sleep I sleep. Try and sleep in 90 minutes blocks as that’s one sleep cycle. My second is 6 months old and I aim for one 3 hour block and 3 90 min blocks a night. You do get used to less sleep, but it’s really hard when you’re a new mum.
A sling is handy for when they won’t settle in the day and you’ve got your hands free to eat.
I always change nappy then feed in the night so when they are sleepy after a feed you don’t wake them up doing the nappy. With my second I out two nappies on her, one in the correct size and one in a size too big I could then go from 10pm -6am without changing a nappy or without leaks.
Warm to cot or basket up with a hot water bottle before you put them in then they don’t wake up when they hit the cold sheet.
I use a sheepskin for mine as it warms them from underneath but not everyone is happy doing that.