Struggling with breastfeeding

[AutumnJ0y]

Have been on Mumsnet for a while now but rarely post. Sorry for the long post.

I recently had my beautiful baby girl at 36+3, needed with forceps delivery and she was under weight at birth (4.7lb). We did skin to skin at the hospital albeit not for long (I'm not sure why it was all a bit of a blur) and she did latch suckle the first time. I don't think I had any colostrum at the time and the next time she wanted a feed it was a struggle. Bt the third feed (3hours on) she was screaming, frustrated and struggled latching m. The nurse at the time told me to give her the one time aptamil bottles (which I had bought with me as an emergency) as if she didn't feed/ lost anymore weight there was a good chance she'd end up in NICU. It all went down hill from there really.

We ended up staying in hospital for 5 days, due to baby developing jaundice. In that time I kept trying to get her on the breast with no success, continued feeding her the aptamil bottles and luckily she hadn't lost much of her birth weight. Have been home since Tuesday last week and she is now 2 weeks as of today. We've been trying breastfeeding continuously, but she just doesn't latch. I ordered some MAM nipple shields which seem to help and spoken to the local breastfeeding team about positioning and hold. She was doing really well for a day and half and now completely regressed back to the bottle. She just cries and cries, gets extremely worked up until we give in to the bottle. I now feel like milk supply has slowed as she's obviously not nursing. I'm so gutted and feel really low and sad that I've failed.

Any advice would be welcome.

Forgot to add her weight has now increased to 5.5lb.

Don't beat yourself up OP! Breastfeeding looks easy but it's really not! I should know - I had twins last week at 34+5 and trying to establish breastfeeding - what works for one doesn't for the other, positioning is a bit all over the place even though here in NICU there is deducted breastfeeding support but I can't seem to replicate what they've shown me once they are not there! I feel under pressure because they aren't allowed home until feeding on their own.
Also the experts have different ways of doing it - one lady has shown me one way but the other lady is almost completely different 🤷‍♀️ so at the moment I've got one twin doing one way and the other is doing it as per the other lady!

Your baby is putting on weight and that's the main thing.

I'd wait until the next feed and try breastfeeding first - looks for the cues - they say here to try for 10 minutes but if not interested then don't push it. If they look interested and are trying to latch on then give it a good 20'min. They have this grading system here and depending on how they did determines how much you top them up with formulae (maybe google breastfeeding A to F chart?) so that you aren't feeding them too much formula so they are too full All the time or not feeding them enough

If you are not expressing every 2-3 hours your milk supply will start to slow down so you do need to pump or something if the baby isn't breastfeeding - with my babies in NICU I have to aim to pump 8-10 hours in a 24 time period with no longer than 6 hours inbetween (ie when I'm asleep!)

@ivfbeenbusy congratulations on your twins. It is really hard isn't it and although I know in my mind I'm trying I still feel super guilty every time I give her a bottle. I just wish I could rewind the time back to when we were at the hospital and just never have given her a bottle in the first place. Thanks for the advice on the grading system I will look it up online and see what I can find. I am also struggling with positioning, had a zoom call with a community breastfeeding specialists and can't seem to replicate what she's shown me. Baby is so wriggly!

Hope all goes well with your little ones and you get to go home soon.

Breastfeeding is hard so try not to beat yourself up. You are keeping your baby healthy which is the main thing and you should be proud of the effort you’ve been putting in regardless of outcome. I breastfed my first 2 with out too many issues so expected my most recent baby to be the same but have had a real struggle with him and end up having to bottle top ups for a while as he was losing weight. He had a tongue tie but even once that was sorted it has taken a while to get his breastfeeding back on track. He’s 9 weeks now and I finally feel like we’re getting there so you still have time. Few suggestions:

• have baby checked for tongue tie. Even a small one can make breastfeeding tricky for them.
• pump every 2-3 hours. Don’t worry if you’re not getting much. I find I get much less when expressing if I’m feeling really stressed so if you can try to relax while doing it. Imagine cuddling baby while you do it to get your hormones going.
• put baby to breast as often as possible.
• bottles are easier than breast so babies can prefer. Google pace feeding for when you’re giving bottles. It just makes baby control the milk flow more and so more similar to breast.
• I switched from bottle top ups to using a supplementary feeding system. It’s a bit fiddly to start with but I soon got the hang of it. The advantages are that baby is getting the top ups with out using a bottle. Your getting some breast stimulation at the same time. You can gradually transition baby from that to full breastfeeding. Medela sell them but you can easily make a diy one which is what I did.

Good luck