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Postnatal health

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What issues did you have during your transition into parenthood?

11 replies

Daizy96 · 10/01/2021 20:10

Hi there, I am 24 years old and currently studying a foundation degree before going on to midwifery next year. As part of this course I am going to be designing a health promotion tool. However, I don't have much experience seen as I have no children of my own so I thought I'd ask you !

I was wondering, what problems did you face or what support/information do you think you could have done with during your transition into parenthood?
This can be to do with conception, pregnancy, labour and delivery and the postnatal period. It can also be to do with you/your partner, the little ones or the professionals you came into contact with.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences, because not only will this help me with my task but also in my future career as a midwife.

Disclaimer: responses will not be used In my work unless you give me permission to do so. If so it will remain anonymous.

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LouiseTrees · 10/01/2021 22:56

Oh I have loads of ideas. Too many to type on here.

catmum2019 · 10/01/2021 23:27

What about a night shift survival pack guide, first few weeks I'd love to have had a list of essentials beside me
Water bottle
Battery pack charger
Book
Snacks - a list of things to keep me sane

Or breast pumping journal- something to record my thought feelings and pumping amount that I can use while stuck to the machine for 30 mins

Fuppy · 10/01/2021 23:55

I too have many pointers.

I would have preferred to see the same Midwife, I almost always had someone different for every appointment.

My first son died the day after he was born, but very few midwives had read my notes before seeing them and also failed to notice the Sands sticker on the front of my notes alerting them to this. Instead what I was asked many times was how was he getting on at home!

I was misdiagnosed for gestational diabetes, and due to loss of DS1 I had many appointments, but it took until 37 weeks and DS 2 having and estimated scan weight of 11lbs 9oz (his weight had been rapidly gaining since 20 weeks) until someone checked properly and informed me that I did have it.

Community midwives couldn't remove my stitches at home because they had become embedded and too painful so I was referred back to hospital so they could give me some pain relief. The doctor saw me and said they'll give me pain relief but when Midwife came I wasn't given any pain relief and was ignored when I asked for some, I was left bleeding and in agony, I was then discharged at 11pm having eaten only a sandwich, and a couple of biscuits since 6pm (I was also breastfeeding)

But I do think there needs to be a change in the way that babies with Macrosomia are handled.

When DS2 was born he was enormous, but inexplicably the hospital still threatened him to keep me in if he lost more than 10% of his birth weight. After we got home, we were threatened with readmission if he lost more than the normal percentage...but he needed to lose that to become a normal weight and also it meant that I was coerced into giving him formula too ups, which made breastfeeding more difficult than it should've been before I was "allowed" to drop the formula. I would've thought it would be more sensible to calculate the baby's "healthy" weight and just not drop below that?

Other than that though I have no other complaints and the rest of the experience was lovely. I would've liked some more information about jaundice after my son was diagnosed. I would've also liked some more information about PGP when I first mentioned it to Midwife instead of waiting for referral to physio. And also about how much/what type of exercise is advised/not advised during pregnancy near the beginning of the pregnancy, I wasn't given this information until 25-30 weeks. Also more information post c-section, including the gas pain (and how to relieve it) both times it was ten times more painful that the c-section wound!

Good luck with your studying, like I mentioned before, most of my experience was positive, those were just the issues I had.

Fuppy · 10/01/2021 23:55

Wow, sorry for the essay Blush

SlB09 · 11/01/2021 00:04

Realistic antenatal classes about when you actually get the baby home and the normal thoughts and feelings experienced - and these include tears and thinking what the F have I done?! Completely brushed over in favour of stuff that goes out if the window when you actually go into labour.
How to know your in labour.
How to make up bottles
How to recognise feeding ques
All this info was given in leaflet form at a point where most of us are just in shock that we've just birthed a baby and take zero info in!

Daizy96 · 12/01/2021 11:06

@LouiseTrees Please do message me if you would like to share!

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Daizy96 · 12/01/2021 11:07

@catmum2019

What about a night shift survival pack guide, first few weeks I'd love to have had a list of essentials beside me Water bottle Battery pack charger Book Snacks - a list of things to keep me sane

Or breast pumping journal- something to record my thought feelings and pumping amount that I can use while stuck to the machine for 30 mins

Hi there! This is a great idea! Please message me if like to discuss this further !
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Daizy96 · 12/01/2021 11:16

@Fuppy

Wow, sorry for the essay Blush
Please don't be sorry about the essay you have been berry helpful ! I'm sorry that this happened to you. However you have given me some great ideas! Thankyou!
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Daizy96 · 12/01/2021 11:22

@SlB09

Realistic antenatal classes about when you actually get the baby home and the normal thoughts and feelings experienced - and these include tears and thinking what the F have I done?! Completely brushed over in favour of stuff that goes out if the window when you actually go into labour. How to know your in labour. How to make up bottles How to recognise feeding ques All this info was given in leaflet form at a point where most of us are just in shock that we've just birthed a baby and take zero info in!
Hi, I have never attended an ante natal class and am unsure what exactly they teach.. if you would be willing I'd love to hear more from you about your experience! Please feel free to PM me if you don't wish to publicly discuss ☺️
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SlB09 · 12/01/2021 22:45

So antenatal classes tend to talk through the labour process - physiological and sometimes psychological, options for pain relief, sometimes complications (but not often or just brushed over) and if your lucky a tour around the labour ward. Also what the birth partner can help with. I was lucky I had a private antenatal course which went through how to bathe a baby, water temp etc, how to dress a baby but that was all extra.

What it doesn't talk about is the actual practicalities of having a baby, how to care for a newborn, newborn noises, how often they will cry, what poop looks like, how to tell if they are hungry, how to make a bottle, breastfeeding and actually how hard it is but where you can get support. That your boobs will go like rocks, that you'll want to drink pints and pints of fluid, that your body will be different, that your hair will fall out etc. I think alot of this is basically left to the community midwife and health visitor but when it's your first and you have no idea waiting until you've had the baby, are in pain or just sore and tired, struggling to feed etc someone telling you about all this stuff just doesn't compute for either mum or dad - understandibly. Essentially your sent home with this little being without a bloody clue what to do!!! I think you'd still feel an element of this but I think there would be an easier transition and less self doubt if you were educated as to what was 'normal' at a time when you can take it in, process it and retain it.

Mind reading that back there might not be any babies if you were told all this beforehand 😜

Daizy96 · 17/01/2021 13:22

@SlB09 thankyou very much for sharing that has given me some great ideas, this info will come in very handy !

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