Terrified something will happen to my baby

[FTD3]

First time poster.

After a long time of trying including IVF and miscarriages my partner finally got pregnant this year. Throughout the pregnancy I was terrified she would miscarry and I was constantly checking miscarriages odds through every week of the pregnancy.

I figured that this was due to the miscarriages and the journey to get where we are. But since our baby was born this year my anxiety hasn't eased.

I'm constantly terrified that something will happen to her and we'll lose her and I find myself looking at her toys or clothes and thinking how hard it would be to see these things if we ever lost her.

It's keeping me up at night and I have no idea why I feel this way. I've experienced depression before but only after really upsetting events and in all honesty our lives are absolutely perfect right now, even with Covid.

So why am I so stressed and anxious all the time? If I'm carrying her up or down the stairs I take every step so carefully to ensure I don't trip and I'm really worried I'm going to be overly protective throughout her life.

Has anyone (especially males) experienced this before? I really can't find anything about this online.

congratulations for your baby
could you go to your gp, maybe he will prescribe something for your anxiety?

Very normal. Get all the support going. You are definitely not alone in this and just knowing that can help.

It's awful, I know.

I still get that almost daily, baby's 2 years old. It doesn't keep me up at night but have had a few nightmares

This is awful, I’ve been there. Please chat to your GP. Medication and a good psychologist experienced in postnatal anxiety will help.

My husband says he constantly runs through scenarios in his mind of all the things that can go wrong, and what he’d do if they happened. It can be pretty stressful for him, but we talked about it and decided it’s an evolutionary trick to make sure we take care of our tiny defenceless babies. In my experience it does ease after the first few months.
But it would still be good to talk to someone about it - your GP if you have a nice one, or a therapist (easily found online these days, for phone/zoom chats) - You don’t want these feelings to overwhelm and exhaust you.

You sound like a lovely daddy. Well done, it’s a tough gig but you’ll ace it I promise