Intrusive thought baby been swapped

[Flowers245]

Hi, I had an intrusive thought 5 days after my baby was born and I thought he might have been swapped at the hospital it came out of nowhere and I panicked at the thought. I had this crazy thought and it has literally spiralled immediately where I look at pictures of him all the time to cross reference, I google chances of him being swapped, I try and be logical but I am so worried someone has actually swapped him either on purpose or by mistake. It has ruined the past 6 weeks of being a mum for me and I’ve got a therapist (trying to do CBT) I’ve bought books on overcoming ocd and intrusive thoughts and I’ve tried to get on as normal but it’s bringing me down so much I cry most days, i go from feeling guilty at having such awful thoughts to sad at actually believing them slightly. I know deep down that it is a thought and in time I hope this will all be a distant memory but I am terrified it will not go away and will impact my relationship with my baby. I say this because the first few days were amazing and we bonded immediately in hospital and now I feel like I am doubting our bond all the time. He is such a wanted baby after two years of miscarriages and stress and I had such an image of how I would be spending these weeks as his mum and I feel like it’s a nightmare to what I expected. I have spoken to my dr and Hv who are lovely but I don’t feel like they get it. Just reaching out for any help or advice.

Hi OP That sounds really tough. It seems like a form of post partum depression. It can cause all sorts of strange thoughts that you would never normally even consider. I think you need to go back to the GP and see if there's anything else they can do for you, as this is obviously becoming very unpleasant for you. Perhaps medication if you would be willing to consider that?

Hi OP, I suffered from intrusive thoughts after the birth of DS1. It's a form of OCD. Please don't feel guilty or ashamed, it's an illness that needs to be treated...you need to see another GP and state very clearly that you need help. It does get better but you will need support. Thinking of you x

Did you post about this before?
Why do you think someone would want to swap him? What rationale reason would there be for this?
If you are still struggling maybe contact the GP as there may be medication options.

Hi, thank you for posting I spoke to my dr who said he will check in with me by the end of Jan and my Hv is coming next week to see me. I am willing to do anything to get out of this and feel any sense of normality again. I wondered if this thought is creating pnd but again I’m just worrying about anything and everything right now.

Hi yes I posted weeks ago and it’s still not improving. I understand there would be no rational explanation as to why someone would swap him but my mind is saying what if it was a mistake or what if someone is really awful and did it? It’s the smallest amount of doubt that is taking over

Op I had a form of sleep derived delusions post birth and thought my baby had been replaced by a gremlin or demon in the dark. It was actually crazy and in day I was okay. I couldn't look at him if I was dark as I was convinced he was evil. Intrusive thoughts are horrible but quite normal. Please seek advice and support. Can you get any help so you can sleep? His helps a lot.
My hv was lovely and supportive and got me help and now he's a happy toddler.
Good luck

OP you need to go to the GP as this is related to post-natal depression/ anxiety.

It will go away but you just need to ask for help 💜

Can you pay for a DNA test? It will put your mind at rest forever. It is important for both you and your baby that you are completely confident that you are his mother.

I think you do need to speak to your GP before the end of January. I’m not saying this to scare you but if you are obsessing over something that is clearly irrational and so highly unlikely then there is the possibility of you developing postpartum psychosis which has similarities to PND but you struggle to distinguish reality from what is going on in your head. It sounds at the moment like you are able to see that your thoughts are not grounded in reality but it is different from if you are obsessing over something that could actually easily happen (eg. Intrusive thoughts about accidentally dropping baby). I think you should call you GP as soon as possible. This is also not something that a HV will be much help with, they may be supportive and be able to point you in the direction of other sources of support but this is something that you need specialist help with especially if it has persevered for several weeks now. I hope you are ok, please seek help ASAP.

I also don’t think that paying for a DNA test would help, you would quite possibly continue to have thoughts despite the results or worry that they didn’t do the test properly or they mixed up the samples etc. Your concerns are not based on reality and so scientific confirmation of your child’s DNA is unlikely to solve your issue which is psychological.

I'd get the DNA test. I always had a weird niggle that DS wasn't the right baby as he'd gone straight to the NICU and didn't look like XH or me (still doesn't). We had to have a DNA test to prove his British paternity as I didn't list XH on his foreign birth certificate and when it came back correctly (XH being his father so obviously I'm his mother) it helped alleviate that anxiety.

OP couldn't worry they mixed up the samples if she got a positive result. They couldn't mix the samples with some other random person and get a positive. The tests are fairly cheap and if it eases some of the doubts that could be helpful along with therapy, GP and CBT.

@Rtmhwales in the gentlest way possible to the OP, the fact that you can see that the results of a DNA test are undeniable doesn’t mean that the OP will also share this feeling. At the moment she is worried about something that is so unlikely to have happened that it is nearly impossible. So an error with a DNA test would be in those same realms of possibility - it is very very unlikely that the DNA test could give a false positive or be mixed up etc but could theoretically possibly happen. Same as the swapping the baby scenario. So then the worries and fears may just be transferred onto the DNA test. OP has says she is worrying about everything at the moment.

This was in the back of my mind, crept forwards every now and then too, but over time I realised I was being daft, she looked the image of my DH then me, abs when her brother was born 3.5 years later they were the spitting image of each other.
Speak to your GP though as mine was passing thoughts only, don't suffer in silence x

Thank you all, I have brief moments where I know it’s a mad idea and just a thought (rarely last longer than a minute) then the majority of the time my mind is saying he might have been swapped. I have written a list of reasons he is mine and all point to him being my baby (same face in pics, feet tags that he had from recovery room to home, marks on arms from birth to home) and the list as to why he isn’t is just the fact I’ve imagined it which you would think would make me realise but it doesn’t seem to help. Feeling so awful for my little boy and guilty when I look at him for feeling like this. You hear mothers say they know it’s their baby an instinct and i thought I did but obviously I don’t, I think I will feel guilty about not having this for a long time if not forever. I will contact my gp again as the exposure therapy from CBT isn’t helping me. I’m so worried that the more I’m telling myself this thought the more it becomes a truth and then I won’t have a bond with my baby, I am doing my best to bond and he’s incredible he’s putting on lots of weight and is only happy when laid on me which gives me hope he’s content and isn’t getting any of my upset vibes.

I do think medication might be the way to go. It won't be a lifelong thing, just to get you over this hurdle. I've had problems with intrusive thoughts in the past and medication has helped me get my mind stable which should, in turn, allow the CBT to work. It's near impossible for CBT to work when you are already in such a bad mental state. But once that fog clears and you can see clearer, it's easier to use those CBT techniques to overcome the intrusive thoughts.

I haven't had a baby, so I can't fully relate to the experience - but I have really bad health anxiety and in the past I have gotten into some really bad states believing ridiculous things like that the charity adverts on TV were a sign that I was ill (I mean what??) and that every ache, pain, and blemish meant I was dying. I couldn't see clearly until I was on some low dose SSRIs and then I got a lot better and could implement the CBT thought correction techniques and I am much much better now.

Please know you aren't alone and there are many of us who have experienced similarly bizarre thoughts. You will overcome this and have a fantastic relationship with your baby.

But as PP have said, if a DNA test would put your mind at ease, I think that's a good idea.

Thank you for letting me know of your thoughts and I’m so pleased to hear you are much better now. I read that intrusive thoughts are the things you fear/upset you the most and are the least likely to happen. I am seeing what my Hv says tomorrow and booking an appt with the gp again to discuss things further and I will mention medication. I feel better when I look at the pictures of him and they reassure me but that’s the OCD and won’t last forever.