I don't want my baby anymore

[babyandadog]

I am sick of him.
Everyone else's baby is happy and content and can go places but not mine.
He fusses constantly unless I am giving him my entire attention and naps for 30 minutes and that is it and fights that. He stirs all night.
He is 4 months and it's not getting better
I hate it. I don't even like to hold him anymore because I feel so angry about everything
I am so angry all the time
I don't want to be a mum I feel trapped
What can I do

Your feelings sound like postnatal depression, OP. I Rreally think you need to speak to your GP or health visitor as soon as possible to see what support you can be offered.
I had crippling postnatal depression and recognise myself in alot of what you have written. I felt those feelings too. Please do not be afraid to seek help, as this will help you move forward.
Is this your first child? The first child is a massive shock to the system

4 months old is a very hard age. Your adrenaline has run out; you’re tired and it’s relentless.

What can you do?
Well baby is under 1 So you can choose a friend to bubble with or a family member.
Ask your OH to take some time off work
Call your HV or GP as you may have PND
On the weekend can your OH up their game and you go out in your own for the day?
Are you eating healthy?

First off, go to the GP, as it sounds as if you are depressed (honestly, it is not unusual).

Secondly, have a hug. The early months can be really shit and baby personality does vary. I had a high needs baby compared to friends, but honestly it does get easier once they are entertained more easily and you can kind of work with more of what you see personality wise. She is a wonderful toddler now - different stages are hard for different people.

Thirdly, is there anyone who can just take the baby for a bit in a daytime so you can nap and just have a bit of time out? There is no shame in it.

Op, I massively get you. My baby was a massive twat and so much harder work than any other baby I'd met.

I just wanted to run away too.

Do you have a good support system/ are you able to get away for a night to stay and sleep in a hotel?

Some of my friends did this when our babies were younger and I wish I had too, instead of struggling on with zero sleep.

Babies are so difficult- it would be weirder if you loved the whinging and sleep deprivation

Oh my lovely - I have three and months 4 and 5 are the worst. The sleep deprivation made me feel like I was loosing my mind. Do you have any support near you? Just being able to go for a nap and switch off for an hour helped me, but I think it sounds like you should contact your GP or Health Visitor and have a chat about post natal depression. I developed PTSD/ depression after 2nd son’s birth and feeling angry was a symptom. I didn’t know that before. I thought depression was ‘just sad’. I left it a nearly a year and I thought I’d just get better but I didn’t. Finally went to GP and I got talking therapy and anti depressants. The anti depressants took a while to get used to ( 2/3 weeks I seem to remember) but then it was like a cloud lifted and I had my normal brain back and I could think and not just react. The talking therapy helped me to put the birth to bed, but it was the anti depressants which enabled me to function to be able to do all those things.
Another thing I’ve observed is NOONE s baby is happy and content all the time especially on social media. That said it takes trust to reveal your parenting as you always think you are doing it wrong or will be judged. It takes bravery and to be vulnerable to talk about what you are finding hard with others- I know I’ve defo been guilty of pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t so don’t be hard or yourself. Be kind to yourself.
One of the best things I was told was if you feel angry with your baby, it’s fine to put them in a safe place ( e.g. their cot) and leave the room for a couple of mins to calm down/ get some perspective. They won’t come to any harm on their own while you just look after you for a couple of mins.
Having a baby and raising a child is hard work. It’s relentless and the sleep deprivation is horrific. I wish I’d done what you are doing now and asked for help earlier, I could have saved myself a lot of misery. I promise it all passes ( eventually) but you just need to get some support for you in the meantime to see you through.
Sending you a big hug xx

** um I mean no one’s baby is happy and content all the time, unlike what you see on social media [ I was typing having a bath when my own baby (12 mths) got me out of they bath having woken up and I lost my trail of thought!

Oh OP this is so sad to read, you really need to speak to your GP or HV and get some help. For you and for baby.
My second is the same age as yours and was never never ever happy, he used to scream the house down all day. He was diagnosed with silent reflux. The change in him since he's been diagnosed is amazing he's like a different child with his medication. Have you spoke with the HV or GP about it? Could be a number of things, reflux, milk allergy. It can get better you just need to ask for help.

If he's your first it can often be a huge shock to the system. Parenting, especially in those first few months is often thankless and draining. It's not always the wonderful amazing experience people make it out to be. You're finding it hard, that's ok!

I hope you get some help x

Call your GP or HV first thing on Monday, or leave a message with them right now.

Babies are hard work (I've had 3, love them, still hard). But you don't have to feel like this. My sister did, and she kept it to herself, because she's a nurse and so.capable.and was afraid that everyone would think she was a terrible mum and her baby might get taken away. It got worse and we nearly lost her, she ended up in a secure mother and baby unit.

Now, though, she is a contented and loving person and amazing to her kids, she said looking back she doesn't even recognise the person that PND made her into.

You're ok, I bet you're doing a way better job than you think. Both you and your baby need and deserve better, please reach out for help.

Oh sweetheart, I've been there. Please speak to your GP. It doesn't have to be like this.

With my second baby I found the baby stage really hard. She was a very difficult baby and I sort of hated having to take care of her. Most of the time I felt like I didn’t love her or even like her. In retrospect, it may have been PND or maybe it was just her! But at 1 years old she is absolutely wonderful now. Give it time. Once your baby’s personality starts to show you will start to enjoy them more. In the meantime, go to the doctor and explain how you feel. Be kind to yourself.

multiple things to be done but firstly i would go to a health visitor as they are used to woman feeling like this as it is a common feeling.

Of course you can always give your baby up for adoption if that is really what you want BUT you should try to get the help first.