I'm massively exhausted with how bad my health anxiety is! If Someone says they for don't feel well- I convince myself I don't feel well either. I can get a headache- swear it's a tumour. Stomach ache- I'm dying. Any pain- cancer I'm dying. Moles, rash, feel sick, anything!!! It's constant!
I have this gut feeling that I will die and leave my 2.5 year old son behind. He won't remember me, he won't get to grow up with me as his mum. My chest goes tight when I think of this ( even now writing it) I panic, feel dizzy, feel terrible all over.
What if know one else knows what he likes? What if they don't read the right story? Or put his teddies on the side how he likes? What if he wants a cuddle off me and I'm not there anymore? It breaks my heart just to think about it. Absolutely horrendous feeling rushes over me.
Day time, night time, when I'm in the shower, driving, cooking...anything. I can't breath, I panic, cry, full on panic attack!!
Iv spoken on the phone to a therapist for 2 months now, it hasn't helped. He doesn't understand how I feel. My sons dad doesn't understand either, says it won't happen and says I will always be about.
My head tells me different. It's a feeling that is crushing me.
I could go on and on..... how do I get this to stop.