Baby blues

[Jigglypuffler]

My DD is a week old today, and I think I have a case of baby blues. I'm hoping that's all it is. I feel uncertain and guilty about everything, about feeding (she is on bottles), about having less patience with my 6yo DS, about not being able do the school run (it's a 10 min drive into the country). I am anxious about DD being healthy. I feel like I'm being useless at home, even though I know I can only do so much because I'm only a week post surgery. I miss my mum and can't see her because of fucking covid, every time I think about her I cry. I cried on and off about all of this stuff all day yesterday. I feel sad that a week has gone by already. My DH is being amazing and I'm able to talk to him, but I don't want to burden him, or waste anyone's time. I know blues are normal, is there anything I can do to help deal with them before they develop into anything more worrying?

OP I think in cases like this you can see your mum. Worst case could you go for a gentle stroll or sit socially distanced on a bench with her, you wrapped up and with baby? That would definitely be within the rules.

I think it's normal to feel the things you are experiencing especially if you didn't want to bottle feed. You're so early on, take care of yourself. You say post surgery, did you have a section? Take each day as it comes, and share your thoughts in here if it helps

Congratulations on your new baby!

Thanks for replying @JeVoudrais

I'm trying to work out a way to see my mum. Again, she's a short drive away from me so it's just figuring out the logistics. We both don't care that much about following the rules and her coming here, but don't know if my DH feels the same and not going to push it. He was up most of the night either because of or with DD so is tired and grumpy today, so I'm trying to be gentle with him as well.

Yes, I had a c section, it was planned but ended up as an emergency as she was 3w early.

I wasn't dead set on breast feeding, my plan was to give it a go but happy to bottle feed if necessary. My DS was predominantly fed through an NG tube because of major health issues, so I genuinely feel lucky to be able to even bottle feed. She latched on but I had no milk at all and the doctors were worried she wasn't passing any stools or urine at all (plus she was on baby alert due to my DS condition) so we started formula. She's doing well on formula, and my DH was keen for her to be bottle fed so he could also feed her (he was also concerned I was delerious with exhaustion), but she's started rooting again on me over the last 24 hours and I just feel so guilty.

It's all par for the course, I guess. I didn't have any blues with DS though, so it's taken me aback.

Just try to remember that it’s not you, and that it will pass. I had it before and I know how horrible it can feel. Every day is one day closer to it being over! Just go see your mum, helping someone with a new baby who is struggling is well within the rules.

Thanks @edgeware I'm trying to. I'm normally very pragmatic so I'm not used to feeling so on the edge.

My mum is on her way up now and we're going for a gentle stroll, hopefully that will lift my mood 😊

Didn't want to read and run, I hope seeing your mum helps put you in a better frame of mind. From how I understand the rules it's definitely fine to meet up with her, indoors too if that's easier for you - you are a vulnerable person (you're recovering from surgery and vulnerable to PND!) and you may well need help with childcare. You deserve help and support, you are certainly not wasting anyone's time. Take care

Thanks @TheGoldenApplesOfTheSun yes it really did. My mum has decided to form a support bubble with us so we can see her whenever I need/want to. We went for a walk with DD in the buggy and had a cuppa together and I feel so much more like myself now.