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Postnatal health

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Lockdown or pnd blues

2 replies

Chilledmummy2016 · 03/11/2020 12:11

Hi all,

I gave birth to my 2nd baby around 7 weeks ago. I’m not sure anymore about how I feel, it’s like I’m surviving and just drifting through the days.
I’ve put up a front so if anyone asks how it’s going I normally respond with tired but getting used to all this COVID stuff.
Due to where I live and lockdown rules it’s meant I’ve only seen my friends in person once before having the baby and some family a handful of times after. My husband has been understanding but is now back in work after working from home and my other child is in school.
My mum passed away 10 years ago so don’t have her to talk to. I get emotional at times and i know I love my newborn but at the same time I kinda feel detached from her and at times life. It’s like each day I have a to do list and then I try and sleep as it’s nighttime and next day repeat. I was going to maybe talk to my gp when I had my lo 6 week check up but she was hurrying me and even told me she was in a rush so I couldn’t open up to her, I’ve since had to put a complaint in as my lo is on medication and she nearly gave x3 the max dosage, so it means I don’t trust her and the other gp in that surgery I can’t get an appointment for.
I just don’t know if it’s lockdown blues or PND and don’t want to make a fuss over it as everyone is stressed about what’s happening in the country.
I hope that makes sense, sorry it’s a bit of a ramble.
Thanks for reading x

OP posts:
Anewmum2018 · 04/11/2020 15:44

Hello OP,

Really sorry you're feeling low. There's a lot of completely understandable reaons for it - lockdown hell, not having your mum, very little sleep, not having usual support networks and friend. It's so hard, even in the best of times, and this is the fucking worst of times.

And I'm really cross your GP wasn't more compassionate, that's so disappointing - so many mums will be struggling right now, and it's harder than ever to access support.

I'm not sure if you have PND or not, but for me, i felt very detatched from my baby, just going through the motions of life, almost like I was an 'actor' in my own life and not really there. Does that ring a bell for you?

The good news is, there's help available if you know where to find it. Does your husband know how you're feeling and can he help you to make a plan to get more support? Can you ask to speak to another GP? Even if you don't 'have' PND, it would be good for you to speak to a GP about how you're feeling, and get a kind, professional perspective. Have you had any visits from your HV? Can you phone them and tell them how you're feeling? They should know of the next steps to take.

If, as is often the case, both these avenues are dead ends (they shouldnt be but sometimes sadly are) then don't think that you're not worth helping - you really are. There is a great charity called PANDAs who can offer advice and support, and there is a group called PNDHour on twitter, full of support from mums who have been through PND and other mental illness. Again, I don't know if you have PND or not - but even if you're feeling a bit crap, it's good to get support.

You can also ask the GP to refer you to perinatal mental health services in your area too - they are great and will be able to signpost you to any help you need.

Please don't worry about making a fuss - you are not making a fuss, you deserve support and help, and you should be a priority in this pandemic. I had my baby in October and I remember how utterly terrible it felt - the nights never ended, the sun never seemed to rise, and it felt like there was absolutely nothing to look forward to ever again. It's a brutal time to have a newborn for so many reasons - lots of love to you, and go easy on yourself x

Chilledmummy2016 · 05/11/2020 13:19

Thank you for your response.
The part you say about being an actor in your own life that does sound how I feel at times.
I’m one of those people who can put on a front, fake a smile and pretend everything is fine, it’s like I’m awake but I’m not actually living in the moment.
I did tell my husband a few things a few days after I gave birth but have since said I’m fine, we have been bickering the last few days so another stress to add to the pile.
I will be seeing a hv today about my lo so will try and open up to her if not I will look at some of the associations you mentioned.
Thanks again x

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