2 months postpartum and need support - cathatar and prolapse

[Bramwell2020]

This is my first post but I’ve read Mumsnet for awhile - hope I do it right!

I had my first DS 2 months ago and it’s been really challenging for numerous reasons (not least because of covid!) and not at all what I expected. I think I just need someone to tell me it will be ok. I had a difficult birth with a forceps delivery. My DS then spent his first few weeks in special care, and I was in and out of a different hospital because I went into urinary retention (didn’t even know it was a thing) and had use a cathatar for a month. It was really stressful and we’ve had endless medical appointments between us. I was just starting to feel we’d got it semi sorted (and I could pee again!!) and now I feel like I’ve got a pelvic prolapse. The urogynae consultant I saw for the urinary retention said I didn’t have a prolapse but that was a few weeks ago and symptoms have only just started. I’m struggling to urinate again, and feel like I’ve constantly got a tampon stuck in. It’s really uncomfortable and I’m constantly aware of my lady parts. Endless googling about long term impact of a prolapse has led to me feeling really down. Does this all get easier? I always envisioned having more than one child but I feel like I could never do this all again. I absolutely adore my DS and being a mum but I wasn’t prepared for how badly my body would cope with all this.

It does get easier. I'm a ftm and had issues with urinary retention also. I really appreciate every wee that I do now!
Be kind to yourself - being a mum is really hard and Covid plus urinary retention and self-catheterisation makes it even harder.

Would strongly advise contacting your consultant again for another appointment and if they try to fob you off, insist on an appointment to get yourself checked. Hope all goes well for you.

Thanks for responding @dumpling123, yesterday I was feeling particularly down but trying to be more positive today. I know what you mean about appreciating every wee which is why I think it’s upset me so much to feel things aren’t right again. Going to try again with the consultant - have to say they weren’t the friendliest bunch so not overly keen but going to make myself contact them.

How did you get on?

Thanks for checking. I am feeling more positive. I saw a women’s health physio and she confirmed the prolapse which isn’t great but she said it was quite mild and there are things we can do so focusing on that. Feels like it’s been a bit never ending but trying to not let it consume everything and focus on my little one. Hope you’re doing ok too?

Doing well thanks. Am glad you got sorted

Oh I feel your pain, had a traumatic birth 4 years ago and those early days are so so hard.
I didn’t have the retention issues you had so can’t help on that front (but sounds like it’s sorted thankfully) but can relate on the prolapse front. It’s very scary and isolating - if you’re on Facebook look up pop fitness - it’s full of women who are big into exercise and somehow ended up with this (according so some doctors “uncommon “ issue - it’s far far more common than I had ANY clue about) if you’re on Instagram put in #prolapse and you’ll find so many many posts all about it, 4 years ago when I discovered mine there was very little on there so I think it’s a positive thing !
Basically all is not lost -you’re not alone and it doesn’t mean your life is over. Yes you’ll need to be mindful of posture , diligent about pelvic floor health and exercise in a different way for a while but It can and will get better. I’m back swinging kettle bells and running now which I honestly never ever thought I would be. Also I had another baby he was born via c section (tho I do have friends who had natural Births with second babies that didn’t make their prolapse worse)
Hang in there- look after your mental health (I actually had some therapy as I had PTSD from the whole experience , I didn’t go until one year after the birth which I wish I had done sooner) a lot of my issues were the mental trauma I went through. Really glad you’re seeing a physio and I hope you feel better soon xxx

Thank you so much @Immaback. Definitely the message I needed. I’m not on Facebook but I’ve looked on Instagram and google but seem to find myself focusing on the negative so tried to take a step back. So amazing to hear you’re running (I did a marathon last year so it’s one of the things I’m finding really upsetting is not to run again) and had another baby (congrats). I hope that’ll be me one day too. Do you mind if I ask if you had a caesarean because of the prolapse or was it unrelated? I can’t see myself going through this again but if I did I’d only be willing to with a caesarean but I know it’s hard to get that approved. Also I think I will investigate therapy at some point - my GP actually asked me about it (as I cried down the phone!) but at the moment with all my appointments and my DS’ I just don’t think I can add another thing into the mix. Anyway thank you for messaging - I really needed it.

Look up Sarah Duvall on Instagram, she is a physio that had a prolapse and has a very good programme. Also Sarah smith strength explains well how important breathing is in the whole thing- it’s basically all an issue with managing pressure (along with strengthening the weakness of course)
I had the section because I unfortunately sustained quite severe 3rd degree tearing during the first birth and had some lingering issues which meant I didn’t want to risk another tear making me incontinent. I didn’t have any issues getting a section, it was offered to me. If it’s what you want then you absolutely can have one on the nhs, but you’ll need to push for it and stand your ground . You have very good reasons for not wanting to go through that trauma again. The c section both itself and the recovery was a walk in the park compared to what I went through the first time. I really have to holdback whenever I hear people talking about how hard c Sections are because it just was not my experience at all (but I Know that emergency unplanned ones bring their own trauma so I’m not suggesting it’s not hard, it’s more that I just felt all I heard about during my first pregnancy was the downsides of sections and the plus side of natural Birth)
See how you feel re therapy in a few months when things calm down with the appointments, you could probably arrange via zoom? For me I just had not in any way been prepared for long term Problems after birth, I was super healthy and was deeply traumatised by the whole experience and the medical errors made. I really think you’ll be fine with Time and lots of self care (not easy with a newborn I know !)

Thank you - I’ll have a look at those names. Really sorry to hear about the tear but so pleased the recovery from the c section was easier. I feel exactly the same, prior to this I really wanted to avoid a c section because of all the risks and longer recovery period I’d been told about which seems absolutely laughable now! I was the same as you very fit and active (spent pregnancy researching running buggies!) so it’s come as a complete shock to now feel so vulnerable and broken but I definitely will look into therapy soon, when things are feeling a little more manageable. Anyway thank you for throwing me some hope - I most definitely hope that 4 years on I too will be on the mend.