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Postnatal health

Feeling like a crap mum

3 replies

Flower08 · 08/09/2020 19:53

I had my little boy via planned c section 2 weeks ago he’s beautiful and our family it complete and I’m very lucky. But I feel so upset and can’t stop crying feeling I’m pushing my 2 year old daughter away. I am making time for them both and involving her in everything etc but my recovery is a little slow and I’ve had a uti as well as narrowly missing theatre 3 days after my section due to ( sorry tmi ) having clots stuck on my uterus and having to have them manually removed whilst on gas and air on the ward and it was very painful and I’m still sore now.

My little girl is very boisterous and constantly wanting to sit on my knee to the point she’s been going down to our lovely Childminder’s. My family live in another town and my mum doesn’t drive not that it should be an excuse of hers but there ya go.

So yeh I’m feeling sh*t for sending her down there whilst my partner has had to go back to work I’m literally crying over this. I am on fluoxetine and have been years now as prone to depression I just feel like she thinks I don’t love her no more or that she’s not as important! We did everything together before and now it’s just abruptly stopped.

I just need to vent to like minded people.

OP posts:
Mommabear20 · 08/09/2020 20:12

I'm sorry you're going through this! I've personally never been through what you described but I know people that have, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

The main thing to keep in mind is that this is temporary. Your body will heal and your energy will return, and when it does you'll be able to have more of that old relationship with her that she wants. To push yourself now will back fire in the long run.

Are there any activities that she enjoys that don't require too much movement? A good movie? Story time? A little thing goes a long way with kids and although it's not the same level of attention that she'll be used too it's something 🙂

I hope things get better for you and you can start to enjoy your 2 beautiful babies fully! X

Suzi888 · 08/09/2020 20:24

It’s fine! Don’t feel guilty. She needs to be boisterous, so that she’s not doing it around you (at least drain a bit of that energy out!) I imagine she enjoys going to the childminder and playing with her little friends.
Like the other poster says, what does she enjoy doing? playing in the bath (if you can just sit close) story, reading, a new toy/puzzle, mine loved a little foot massage, also a sock I sewed eyes and mouth on and it ‘spoke’ - she loved the attention.
You need this time to heal, she will not resent you for it.

Bettyboop82 · 08/09/2020 20:34

I’m in exactly the same situation but a few weeks on from you. The guilt was unreal and I felt like I’d ruined my other children’s lives (3 year old twins). Now 8 weeks on everything is starting to settle down and the guilt is lifting. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. You are doing your best xx big hugs

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