Help I hate being a mum

[sophie269]

I had my son 10 days ago now and I'm so ashamed but I hate being a mum. I miss my old life so much, his really really hard work, doesn't sleep and just cries alllllll day and night, I do love him but I just am really struggling. I don't know how to tell my partner. Please don't judge I feel awful about how I feel and I wish I didn't feel like this so much

I remember feeling like this. I struggled so much at the beginning. The first few weeks were so hard. The lack of sleep was so hard to manage.

I'd say, speak to your other half. Share how you are feeling. You'll feel better for it. It may also be worth speaking to your health visitor or midwife, if your still under her care.

It's such a huge transition. I totally understand how you feel. You're not alone. Trust me, it gets easier. My little girl is 1 and I'm pregnant with DC2. I'm already panicking how I'll manage in those early weeks with 2. But it's so worth it. Honestly.

Op, speak to your hv, you may have pnd.

This is a very common feeling and we really should be more open about it generally. It's very early days and things will improve with time. Ask for support, keep talking and don't be ashamed/guilty.

It took me months to feel anything like love for my baby. She was a very unsettled newborn and I had a traumatic labour, but we got there in the end - you will too.

I felt the same, it’s very normal. Definitely speak about to your partner and HV, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s still very, very early days so don’t be hard on yourself. It’s a cliche but take each day at a time, things will absolutely improve, but allow yourself time to grieve your old life. Do anything that will help ie rock to sleep etc.

I felt very lost at around 10 days post birth. Your hormones are still all over the place and can be overpowering. The feeling of desperation, the tiredness, the pains and the anxiety is all really really hard.

Everyone told me to just sleep and relax as much as possible, but I actually found it more helpful taking an hour out to myself each day to do something I enjoyed (gardening/cooking/dog walking). I'm breastfeeding so always on call, but there's always a little time in the day to do something for myself.

You are not alone and what you're feeling is completely normal during the first couple of weeks. please don't feel ashamed to tell people how you're feeling, especially if you continue to feel this way over the next few weeks.

@sophie269 I've linked you to my thread I posted on here in January when my son was 9 days old and I was grieving horribly for my old life. He is almost 8 months old now and I adore him and can't imagine life without him. I know you probably can't picture feeling this way right now, and neither could I. I regretted him so much I was googling how to have him adopted! Do talk to whoever you can though - partner, friends, family, Health Visitor, and hopefully you'll develop a support network to help you through the newborn days, because they are really really tough! I hope you feel better soon. Keep posting and rant as much as you wish.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_health/3784956-9-days-post-partum-post-natal-depression-newborn-resentment

I could of written this post. 1/2 weeks ago.
I literally woke up and I hated my life. Iv longed very long for my baby and i was miserable!

She's 4.5 weeks now and it's getting easier. It's a hell of a life changing experience.
And also not knowing why there crying is so stressful.

My baby's was wind pain. Changed her powder, bottles and use infocal and it's working.

Hope you are feeling more positive but honestly I think every mums been there x