Tell me I'd be right to walk away

[Rosebel]

I'm not very good mum and I want walk away. My older children feel ignored/neglected and my baby hates me. My husband said the other night that baby is less settled with me because he picks up that I hate him..
I don't hate my baby I love him and would die ,for him, same as my older children. Yet the fact my husband said this just proved I'm doing everything wrong. I know leaving is,the best thing for my children but I'm too selfish.
I honestly think my husband and children would be better off without me but I need some support or someone to just give me that push.
I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

It sounds like you are suffering from PND

You are right that you need help/ support

Could you discuss how you are feeling with your midwife or GP?

Your baby does NOT hate you. That was a disgraceful thing to say to you. Babies cry, some (a lot) more than others. He needs you and he cries because he knows you will sooth him (and various other reasons). Please be kind to yourself.

OP I think you need to speak with your Health Visitor or GP as soon as possible. It sounds as though you may have PND and the sooner you reach out the sooner you can get the support you need.

Your baby doesn't hate you, you are the centre of his world but it is very hard to remember that when he is unhappy and you aren't in a good place yourself. It was a ridiculous and mean thing for your husband to say-wondering if he is struggling himself on some level, might explain (but not excuse) the comment?

I hope you get the support you need.