Prolapse - not coping

[CharlieB93]

I’m 9 weeks PP and have been diagnosed with a bladder prolapse by my physio (3rd degree tear during labour)
I’m really struggling to come to terms with it, I’m in pain everyday and the bulging feeling is ruining everything. I’m scared to walk for a long time and I’ve been told to come to terms with not ever running or doing circuit training again (which I loved) I feel like I can never loose the excess weight from pregnancy as I find it hard to loose without doing exercise.
I just don’t know where to go from here - I’ve been looking at kegel8/pelvic floor trainers to purchase but do they make any difference? Pelvic floor exercises seem to be making no difference whatsoever.
I don’t want to live like this 😢

No, I bet you don’t want to live like this.

I know it feels fucking horrible right now but these are very early days.

For what it’s worth I had a cystocele and rectocele which required a surgical repair. I am almost 9 years from my last birth and 18 months from my surgery.

Concentrate on your pelvic floor exercises right now. You can improve the muscle function but it takes a long time- like 6 months, but if you keep at it you will hopefully see improvements. Also try to find a good physio who specialises in pelvic floor issues if the one you have seen doesn’t.

You’ll hear a lot of no’s when you are diagnosed with a vaginal prolapse but you can also make your own decisions around risk. I don’t run anymore but I have started lifting again after a lot of back to basic training to get to a position where I feel safe.

I know there is a good Facebook group for women with prolapse, although I don’t use it. I would also recommend Dr Sarah Duvall, PoPUp Lift, and the Physio Detective as resources that you can you to educate yourself about your body.

Lots of hugs and congratulations on your baby. Please feel free to ask any questions.

@AllNewDownThere thanks for replying.
Bit personal but how did it work in the bedroom ? I feel like there’s zero chance it would work and I’m scared my partner will leave.
Did surgery work for you? Are you now able to run etc?
Did you use any pelvic floor trainers?

Another one here saying give it time. It will feel like the end of the world at the moment. Every step you take it feels like everything is going to fall out. But it is very likely to improve with time and appropriate exercise.

For me it was:
4 months pp - 12 months pp - NHS Physio
12 months onwards - private physio and clinical Pilates.
I'm now 2.5yrs pp and I've spent lockdown doing PE with Joe with no discomfort, no leaking etc - albeit without the jumping! But I didn't stop feeling the bulging for over a year.

My life (and prolapse) looks nothing like it did when my baby was two months old. It's a world away now. But it has taken years. it's not "healed", as in it's back to normal, but these days it's fine and very liveable with.

I suggest joining the (private) Facebook group called Association for Pelvic Organ Prolapse Support. It has women from all round the world who have suffered how you are suffering.

I also needed counselling. My prolapse was a direct result of birth injuries that should never have happened, and I was so, so angry for a long time.

Your physio should grade your prolapse and set you up with a proper programme of pelvic floor exercises, as well as exercises that will heal and develop your entire core strength. They should also be able to discuss with you things such as pessaries if one would be useful. If you're not getting helpful info, try and find a new physio.
In terms of machines, both the physio's I've worked with have said not to use them, so I haven't, but I'm aware that other physios make different recommendations. Again, this is something they should be able to talk you through.

I've swapped my exercise around. I don't run or jump, but I do cycle, row, do weights, Pilates, barre and yoga. I've learnt to adapt the bits I need to to protect my pelvic floor. There are definitely ways to get fit other than running - you just need time to find your new niche. I would think that running wouldn't be sensible right now, but in the future with a pessary support - or maybe without! - it's entirely possible.

You're not on your own

@CharlieB93

So you’re about to find out I don’t mind talking about sex stuff...

Fortunately/unfortunately for me my DH lost interest in having sex with me when my last kid was born. We are very amicably separated now. But the lack of interest on his part, the trauma and aftermath of the birth and the years I spent being misdiagnosed and feeling mutilated didn’t really leave me in a happy place.

But then one day I joined a hook up site. And I meet some men. I was always very clear about what had happened to me. And here’s the thing- nobody was ever like, umm no thanks. In fact nobody has every said anything other than very nice things about my bits and if they ever dared say other other than that they could fuck right off.

Now my body doesn’t work like it used to so I had to spend some time figuring that out. But I have also learned that vaginal orgasms are real and squirting is not just some made up porn shit (although I still don’t quite believe it). I enjoy sex and have fun with it.

I hope that your partner is willing to go through this journey with you, but if not it’s not the end for you.

I feel like my surgery was successful, although I will say that the process was horrific. I don’t run now because I have decided that this isn’t a priority for me. I don’t want it to make it seem like surgery was a magic solution for me. And I think if you are considering it, you should try and wait as long a possible to have surgery as it’s sort of a one shot deal.

I never used any sort of trainers, just the Squeezy app. Did anyone talk to you about pessaries? I never used one as the rectocele was more my issue and they don’t really help with these.

I love everything that @sar302 has said too

@sar302 thank you for your message. I’m hoping like you I look back in a couple of years and I’m coping well with it. What type of prolapse did you have? That’s really reassuring that you can now exercise. I was so slim and fit before pregnancy now I feel like a massive wobbly mess 😂 I don’t fair well with loosing weight just by diet.
I’ll ask my physio about the pelvic trainers next time I see her, to be honest she said go away do pelvic floor squeezes and we’ll see how you are in 4 weeks, so I’m guessing she’s going to see how bad it is next time I go.
@AllNewDownThere thanks for the honesty! I’m sorry about your DH but it sounds like you were better off without him. Did sex still work then? I’m scared that it won’t ‘go in’ if you get me... me and OH had a very active sex life before birth and I’m scared that if I can no longer have sex, he won’t want to stay ☹️

Thank you @AllNewDownThere - sage advice from you too!

I had a grade 2 (moderate) bladder prolapse, grade 1 (mild) bowel prolapse, internal nerve damage and failed episiotomy stitching.

In terms of sex, I couldn't "feel" anything internally for about 9/10 months til all the nerve endings grew back. So that was a bit limiting! Communication was key. And my husband was truly wonderful about it all, so we battled our way through together.

It also led to the most hilariously awkward internal exam ever, as the first time feeling came back, was during an exam, and I burst into tears with my physios fingers still inside me, because I was so happy to have sensation back 😱 She was the consummate professional, but my god I was mortified afterwards... thankfully I can laugh about it now!

But yes, it's been a hard slog, physically and definitely emotionally. Grief, anger, the feel of your body betraying you. But there are lots of options out there and you are just at the beginning. It will get better, you just need to find the right person to give you a personalised approach to your recovery.

I would say in terms of penetration you’ve to learn to work the angles. You might find that certain positions put too much pressure on the anterior wall of your vagina- I’m looking at you doggy style. But then again maybe not.

Have you spoken to your partner about how you are feeling? I think that will help a lot. And when you are ready to give it a go try to treat it like an exploration. Don’t put any pressure on yourself here, because that’s not going to help.

I hope that your comment about being afraid that your partner will leave if you can’t provide him with sex is the just the shock of all this. Because you don’t need me to tell you that you are much more than that!

@sar302 it sounds like you’ve been through the wars too! I wouldn’t feel embarrassed about it, sex is a huge part of a relationship (well it was for us) I’m glad your husband was so understanding about it.
@AllNewDownThere yes I’ve tried to speak to him he just keeps saying everything will be fine and to not be daft when I get upset. I don’t think he realises how much of a burden it is.

OP my heart breaks for you as I remember having the exact same fears when this happened to me a year ago. Everything has gone back to almost normal, and to be honest, I was never that religious about pelvic exercises. I think it takes time for everything to tighten back up. It only started getting noticeably better 6-7 months pp.
I don't remember the last time I had that heavy feeling and things have gone back up for the most part.
Regarding sex, things are almost as they were. My muscles are not as strong so the sex is not as good for me, but doesn't seem to affect DH.
I will never run again, and I try not to lift my DD4 or do heavy lifting.
Be patient, and know that things should improve with time.

@CharlieB93 I’m right there with you op!! I’m 15 weeks pp and have mild bladder and rectum prolapse from 3rd degree tear in childbirth. As well as nearly totally torn and repaired pelvic floor. At 9 weeks I thought I would never get any better. It is slowly getting there. There has been improvement. 9 weeks is still very very early.

I paid to see (via zoom) a private women’s health physio and have a detail action plan of things to work on to recover. Was £35 for 45 min and totally worth it. I felt I needed more guidance than ‘do pelvic floors’

I am working with the physio to get me back running again eventually but she has earned could take a year to get to that point with no symptoms. However it is possible.

Perhaps look into a private physio session if you think this would help.

I was mortified when mine was diagnosed. It’s not nice. It will get better!!

Regarding sex we haven’t tried yet as in still very wary. However have tried a tampon for the first time recently and that was fine so small steps for me. Being extremely open and honest I think is mega important. Also lots of lube my friends have told me. The physio said to me even though it may look like something is blocking the entrance to the vagina it will ‘move out of the way’ during sex. She said up to 90% of women suffer some sort of prolapse after birth and 99% go on to live a very normal and healthy life with it. Just have to give it time.

Wishing you will. (Also congratulations on the birth of you’re child! They’re worth it right??!!)

@Userzzz that’s reassuring - do you mind me asking what type of prolapse you had?
@Whatelsecouldibecalled it’s awful isn’t it - has you tear healed now?? Mine healed fairly quickly but obviously these problem still remain. Was you aware straight away of the prolapse? I only realised after about 3 weeks pp! 100% worth it but sometimes I wish I’d of had an elective c section 😢 I have friends who were almost back to normal after 6 weeks!

@Whatelsecouldibecalled where did you find the private physio via zoom! I’d definitely be interested into looking into that?

@Whatelsecouldibecalled also congratulations on the birth of your baby!

@CharlieB93
I had a grade 1 cystocele and rectocele.

@CharlieB93 I googled her!!

sheffieldpelvicphysio.co.uk/

Tear wise yes the tissue has healed now. But left lasting damage

@Whatelsecouldibecalled I’m sorry about the damage you’ve still got. It really is shit.

Oh thanks! Ha weird - I live very close to Sheffield!

@CharlieB93 bet we are close as so do I!

@Whatelsecouldibecalled what a small world!

Hey guys I've

I've have problems down below and still have 8 months postpartum I had a doctor appointment over the phone today with my symptoms
Bursting to go to the bathroom
I finally go
I think I've finished and I feel like I have a full bladder what are the symptoms you all had the doctor has told me to check myself there is a small round thing poking out but I'm not sure if that's a prolapsed but I know I'm not 100 percent I did go to the doctors before lock down and he said I'm too young to have prolapse I'm 26 had my dd 8 months ago forceps and episiotomy xx

@Laursjayne123 age has nothing to do with it! I’m 27!
My main symptom is a feeling of bulging down there - like a tampon not pushed far enough up

@CharlieB93 this is how exactly I'm feeling I literally through it was just the norm after having a child I haven't took no notice of it untill I seen this post I feel like something is coming out but nothing does Thankyou so much for this post xx

@Laursjayne123 I’d say get yourself to the gp to get checked, like I say I’ve got physio through the nhs. Hope you get sorted!

I'm 56 and have just realised I have a prolapse. I can't believe how little information was given about prolapse risks when I was pregnant. I was 40 when I had my daughter. An induction, she got stuck, episiotomy and an almighty push. Of course I didn't do enough pelvic floor exercises and I wish I could go back in time and shout loudly at myself! I'm infuriated that in 2020 it's still not 'nice' to talk openly about one of the most obvious risks and common things to happen to women. I think I may get a T shirt done with 'ask me about my prolapse' on it! Maybe not...I'm a district councillor in Devon, have a column in a paper that's got a tiny circulation and intend to make the men blush by writing about this! (while clenching)