Is this PND or just anxiety?

[decafjitters]

Baby is 5 weeks, have always suffered from anxiety but have done better job of managing last few years, haven't had a panic attack in years when they were regular at one point.

Recently I've been so preoccupied with these intrusive thoughts about all the terrible things that could happen to my baby. I love her so much it hurts! I sit and cry thinking about her dying and check on her obsessively. I have a breathing monitor but it only helps a bit. I'm so tired as I find it hard to sleep when she sleeps unless my husband is watching her!

I had a tough pregnancy and was referred by GP for anxiety but it was either a phone call (makes me nervous) or an online course which did nothing.

I'm worried that I am not enjoying my beautiful baby as I just think about something happening to her all the time. I hate walking up and down stairs with her as I get pictures in my head of her falling, I see her choking, falling out of my arms etc in my minds eye and it makes me feel crazy

Has anyone been through similar? Is this normal for anxiety or is it a bit PND? I'm praying it gets better.

Oh OP this sounds tough. I have had similar intrusive thoughts, particularly when DD2 was very tiny. My anxiety got much worse after having both DDs. Are you getting sleep? I know obviously it'll be disrupted but are you managing any? Someone explained to me that PND and anxiety are two sides of the same coin and certainly I've felt a bit of both. Take care, it's hard but you'll get there

Post Natal Anxiety.

It’s a different condition to PND and often poorly understood by GPs (sometimes misdiagnosed as post partum psychosis, or PND)- but it does need nipping in the bud-and therapeutic treatments are different for PNA as it “works” differently.

Have a google and DM me if you want more info. I had it very very severely and am now recovered after a couple of years of therapy to deal with the underlying issues.

The intrusive thoughts are horrendous - I was very similar to you. Eventually I broke down on the phone to the midwife (maybe try your health visitor) and was sent to the hospital then referred to the mental health team. It was post natal anxiety and OCD (I was doing things like setting alarms every 40 minutes through the night to check on her).
Taking sertraline is what sorted me out - I'm still working on the OCD and how to deal with intrusive thoughts but it's not constant and making me panic and feel dread for most of the day anymore.

Hope this helps

I should clarify the mental health team did regular home visits, gave me coping strategies and organised the medication I didn't have to stay in hospital xx

Just an update, I'm struggling badly and had a bit of a meltdown yesterday so am going to call the GP/health visitor on Monday and look at getting some support and medication as I need something to help me cope in the short term. Thank you for sharing your experiences❤️