Worried about bonding

[sazzlerazzle]

Hi everyone. Three weeks into becoming a mum and feeling a little lost. When I’m not with her, for example if I go up to have a shower while my husband gives her a feed, I don’t miss her at all. I don’t have any kind of yearning to be back with her. If I hear her crying downstairs there’s no urge for me to go and check she’s ok (when she’s with my husband, I don’t leave her on her own). I welcome the time I have on my own.

I haven’t told anyone this and I don’t want people to think I don’t love her. When I’m with her I’m happy and love showering her with kisses and cuddles. But I keep thinking... if someone took her away from me would I care? And I don’t know what the answer is 😞 What if I never bond with her?

It will come, and if it doesn't, there are professionals there to help you.

Having a baby is no like the movies, there isn't always this wonderful gush of love.

You are not alone in this feeling, but please do call you midwife if it gets progressively worse

If you carry on feeling this don't be afraid to speak to your GP or HV. It's completely normal.

Do you think it's because you love and trust your husband that you know she is safe with him? It's okay to enjoy some time for yourself. You don't have to feel guilty about it we're human after all! .

I think if someone took her it would be a very different scenario to your husband watching her downstairs. Try not to think like that OP.
Enjoy some you time.

I didn't really love my baby until she was about 9 months. I cared for her obviously, but never missed her. She went to nursery from 6 months and I only ever felt relieved to be dropping her off.

At the stage you are now I felt no bond at all. I really think it's very common, just that most women don't talk about it. Loves grows in my experience and I'm sure it will for you.

And never feel guilty about enjoying time for yourself!