Postnatal Anxiety

[Enfys93]

Hi, bare with me as I’m new to this (this is my first post!)

Anyone else struggling really bad with anxiety and how do you deal with this? This is a bit of a long post but thought it might help to have a chat with someone who has been through something similar.

My health visitor has suggested that I am suffering with postnatal anxiety. He is my first baby and I needed help getting pregnant due to pcos, I also had complications during pregnancy due to having a hemotoma and him measuring small and low fluids.

My baby is 6 weeks old and we have only left the house about 3 times to have a walk around the block and visited the health visitor. With this pandemic I am really nervous to take him anywhere!

I also over think EVERYTHING when it comes to him :( constantly worried if he is well etc. I have rang out of hours twice
Because I had concerns with his breathing and soft spot but both times they assured me he is fine 🙈

It’s worth mentioning that I am also suffering with really bad galstone pain so as well as the lack of sleep and lack of support (with being unable to see family at the moment and limited health professions involvement) I’m not eating too good.

Although my partner tried to be supportive, whenever I have a concern he just replies ‘ah he’s fine’ which doesn’t help.

Thanks in advance.. any support appreciated! x

Hi enfys,

I've just being diagnosed with postnatal anxiety and my son is 4 month old. I have really bad panic attacks that last for days. I've constantly worried about his health from birth, then I Google things and convince myself he has some rare disiese. I struggle to even be with him some days. You're not alone. In this strange times of pandemic, no one seems to be there to help with doctors and health visitors and what not. Do you have someone who could come stay with you? Help out so you can rest and get better?

As for the anxiety, read a book when you find yourself googling, distract your thoughts. Let the baby be and don't check on them every 20 seconds it gets tiring doesn't it.

Also know your a good mum and it won't last forever.

Thanks for your reply! Hope your little one is doing well.

Nope I haven’t got anyone to come and stay with me and my partner is back in work which makes it harder.

I do google a lot which probably isn’t helping! I will have to try to distract myself.

Not this time but first time round I had dreadful postnatal anxiety. My eldest is now nearly 5 so I don’t know if things have changed but at the time the health visitor/ other health professionals only ever asked about PND and I always thought I love my baby and I’m not sad so I must be fine. It was only with hindsight that I realised I had pretty bad postnatal anxiety which lasted pretty much his whole first year. At the time I thought it was normal new mum worries so it’s good that you have the insight to recognise what is going on. This is a great first step as once you realise what you are dealing with you can take steps to improve it- whether that be speaking to GP/ health visitor for referral for help (many places still running phone services) or pursuing o no one self help stuff.

My anxiety manifested itself in the form of always thinking my baby was going to die. I had attended every antenatal class going and had so much stuff about SIDS and safe sleep rammed down my throat that I think it freaked me out massively. DS was a terrible sleeper so I was utterly exhausted but even when he did sleep I would literally lie in bed holding my own breath so I could hear him breathe. He outgrew his Moses basket at 5 months so went into his own room and because guidelines said to wait until 6 months I slept on his bedroom floor for a month. Those are just a couple of snippets into what I was like. No one pointed out I was so anxious to me and I certainly couldn’t see it for myself so it only reinforced what I was doing. Also didn’t help that we had 2 blue light ambulances for him aged 7 months and 9 months which also reinforced my anxiety.

When it came to having my second baby (currently 10 weeks) I was very aware of the same thing not happening again. I avoided any antenatal classes and really minimised any contact with things I knew triggered me last time. As a result I have had no anxiety whatsoever in relation to the baby. However, this whole virus thing really knocked me and I spent much of the first 4-6 weeks like you not going out anywhere as I felt we would certainly get the virus as if it was hanging around in the air the minute I stepped foot outside. I managed to combat the anxiety by recognising what I could and couldn’t control and what were and weren’t rational thoughts. If they were irrational I’d let them go. I’d also ask myself- is this thought I’m having helpful to me? If it wasn’t helpful or healthy then again I’d let it go. I think awareness and increasing your awareness of when you’re anxious mind is controlling tour behaviour is key. I also asked dh to point out to me this time if I was being driven by anxiety and that has helped too.

Hope you can find some support, PNA is horrific and I think very under recognised in comparison to PND and the current virus situation must only be amplifying it for you more. Happy to chat if it helps at all

I can’t offer any advice as I’m in exactly the same boat! I will say you’re not alone though. I’m struggling so badly with constant worry and stress.

I’m constantly convincing myself that there’s something wrong with my little girl. I worry that she’s going to have special needs all the time and I find myself constantly agonising over every cough, sniffle and noise she makes in case she might be ill. I also have real paranoia that something I might do might make her ill - I have been known to spend hours cleaning things that probs aren’t dirty as I’m terrified some bacteria is going to infect her. I spend so much time making sure her formula is made exactly as the tin says. I spend most of my night awake as I have to check she’s breathing constantly, even though I have a breathing monitor and I often end up waking her when I’m checking her skin to make sure she’s not too hot. I was the same throughout my pregnancy and have recently looked into this - I think I have post/peri natal anxiety with ocd. But I’m too scared to go to the doctors in case they think I’m not capable of looking after my baby.

I’m really sorry I can’t offer any help but please know you’re not alone op - I think more people have probably suffered the same but like me don’t get help and therefore are not counted in the numbers. Let me know if you ever just want a chat with someone else who feels similar xx

Thank you guys for answering. It’s nice to know I’m not alone (but awful you feel this way too!)

My anxiety seems to have gotten worse the last couple of days 🤦‍♀️ I had to go to a and e Tueaday due to galbladder pain and when I was there someone came in suspected to have the virus. Although I kept my distance, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head!

I’ve been feeling achy, drained dizzy and sick. Family suggested it could be down to stress/ anxiety but the doctor didn’t really agree and assumed it’s to do with my galbladder.

x

I'm suffering with high anxiety and panic attacks since my little girls birth 7.5 months ago although mine is due to me having health issues since her birth. It's a horrible, horrible thing.
We can get through this!

It sounds like you’re functioning under really stressful circumstances so I’m not surprised you’re feeling so anxious

We live overseas and when I had my son we had no support network, no follow ups from health visitors etc. My family couldn’t visit til he was about five weeks old, and then only for a few days. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you things are fine and give a bit of perspective.

Like @Ibizababyy, a lot of my anxiety focused on safe sleep. He had reflux, which I found utterly terrifying. I also know basically everything about formula preparation, chronobacter etc. and spent most of my time reading things like the BMJ (on the plus side I learned a lot about evaluating source material!). I even hallucinated at one point that I had given him dirty water. My husband was back at work after 3 days, which didn’t help.

One thing that did help a bit was some CBT strategies that I found online. For example, I’d ask myself ‘what would a non-anxious person do/think in this situation?’

@FartnissEverbeans yes I also hallucinated but that he was in bed with me somewhere and I’d frantically search the duvet. Even looking at him in his noses basket I’d be convinced that was a different baby and still search for him! Unsure why my dh never told me to get help because writing that here sounds batshit!!

I had terrible PNA and PND. I stopped eating altogether and couldn’t sleep because I was just so wired and on edge all the time. I was prescribed medication which helped enormously and I’m still on it now. I was referred to the perinatal mental health service and had the support of a psychiatrist and my own designated mental health nurse.

I really would recommend talking to your GP and pushing for a referral. Also, don’t be scared of medication. It’s not for everyone, but it really can help alongside talking therapies.

Intrusive thoughts are horrible but see it as a small positive, in that it clearly means you are concerned for the welfare of your baby. My CPN assured me that these kind of thoughts were actually quite common in all new mothers to an extent, and isn’t necessarily a sign of mental ill health.

I always said that the anxiety was far harder to live with than the depression. You are not alone and you will get through it - just keep talking and reaching out.

Hallucinating sounds awful!

My health visitor is out visiting this week but over the phone she suggested getting support off the doctor. Last time I mentioned stress and anxiety to him, he just brushed it away and blamed my feelings on my galbladder pain 🤦‍♀️

Did your anxieties get easier as your babies grew? (I’m hoping that will be the case!🙈)

HI need some advice I am literally sobbing right now writing this post because I'm so tired but terrified to sleep! I had my son 3 days ago and after complications with labour he finally arrived but with his cord wrapped around his neck was rushed away from me and took a good 90-120 seconds to cry which felt like forever at the time, i thought the worst and was screaming out for him and then finally his tiny little cry came out! Best feeling in the world both home from hospital that day healthy and well but I have hardly slept since coming home. I have my amazing supportive mum here but I'm terrified of leaving his side and when it comes to him being asleep I struggle to sleep with fear of sids!!! I feel absolutely awful like completely drained of energy but I can't settle at all any advice please?? Xx