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Postnatal health

Body blues

17 replies

popgoesperfection · 30/01/2020 22:03

I had ds 8 weeks ago, and I hate my body !!! After the birth of my first child, my body changed dramatically, pre baby I was 7 1/2 stone and very slim, I put on 4 stone whilst pregnant (ya know, eating for 2), everyone said oh you'll 'pop' straight back down, being 25 and quite active I thought, yeah I probably will.....I did NOT!!! I had separated Timmy muscles, a protruding belly button, excess skin and 3 stone to loose !!! After physio and lots of running I managed to slim down, not as slim as pre baby but I felt a lot better about myself (although never confident enough to wear a bikini,stomach looked disgusting). Fast forward 5 years and I'm back to square one, well square one x5 because I look even worse. I look in the mirror and wow, I look vile. I'm conscious dp must feel sick looking at me, I look nothing like I used to when we first met, I have saggy skin (had a section so even worse overhang) stretch marks in places I never knew you could get them, not to mention the bags bigger than Tesco's under my eyes. I just look awful, no matter how much make up I put on, or how many new clothes I buy to better suit my bow bigger figure. I was a size 6/8 pre child, now 2 children later I'm a 12/14 and feel enormous 😞 don't really know what I'm asking, sorry for the long post but Thankyou for reading.

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popgoesperfection · 30/01/2020 22:07

Sorry if it sounds a bit all over the place and doesn't make sense.

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Immaback · 31/01/2020 22:20

Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. It’s so hard - my body changed a lot too but now I’m almost a year after my second and things are much better. You did it before and you can do it again (and I don’t mean loose weight but just generally get back to feeling like yourself a bit more)
It’s Still very much early days so do try and be kind to yourself. And I’m sure your partner in no way thinks that you look bad!

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TeaAndCake30 · 01/02/2020 18:09

Afraid I don't really have any advice but wanted to chime in to say I feel the same. I had my first baby 5 weeks ago, have always been a size 6/8 and everyone said I'd "bounce back". For me it's not so much the weight gain but the stretch marks and c-section overhang/pouch, but I just keep telling myself it's early days, and although they'll never fully go, they'll improve and I'll grow to accept them. Hope you're feeling better soon. We both have newborns to look after and it's tough, so think we should cut ourselves some slack for now Smile

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popgoesperfection · 01/02/2020 20:21

Thankyou for your kind words!! I envy my friends who bounced right back and don't even look like they've had children, however I know how lucky I am to have two beautiful healthy children so then I feel guilty 🙈 I need to just learn to love my body as it now is.

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LHMB · 02/02/2020 18:03

Feel the same. Had my second 7 weeks ago. Had a c section. Hate my stomach, hate the "pooch", feel ugly fat and old and don't even look the same as I did just over a year ago. Feel angry and frustrated and upset by myself and cry whenever I try to get a pic of me with my baby

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popgoesperfection · 05/02/2020 06:03

@LHMB it's awful isn't it and so disheartening. Everyone keeps saying to me 'you only had baby 9 week ago!!' Yeah I know, I still feel fat and ugly though!!!!!

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LHMBF · 05/02/2020 14:43

I know exactly what you mean. I get friends saying oh there's nothing wrong with you, you would be worried if you were X or Z's size, they're much bigger then you but that doesn't make me feel any better, I honestly cry when I look in the mirror, I just want to look how I used to, I completely understand how you feel x

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popgoesperfection · 05/02/2020 14:48

I wouldn't mind the stretch marks so much if my belly was flat (ish) and dp always says it'll go down, but I highly doubt it!! So I think f**k it, might as well stay fat and eat a chocolate bar, then feel bad for eating it and thinking I want to be thin .... it's just a vicious cycle !!!

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Mariagatzs12 · 05/02/2020 14:56

Have you tried any of your old clothes on? A few weeks ago I thought I looked disgusting, but some of my clothes fit again (I'm 15 weeks pp). I'm on a fairly restrictive diet though. Before my first I was a size 10-12, before my second I was s size 6-8. I'm back to a size 8-10.

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LHMBF · 05/02/2020 18:37

popgoesperfection that's exactly me!

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BananasBananas · 09/02/2020 01:13

Do c sections leave more of a pouch than vaginal birth??? My overhang is so pissing me off. Thought I'd definitely be back to normal after 6 months Hmm I can empathize with you, OP.

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popgoesperfection · 09/02/2020 10:00

Yeah definitely a worse overhang, I suppose if your slim it isn't AS bad but where they cut just so happens to leave you with a 'apron'.

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LHMBF · 10/02/2020 20:25

Definitely worse with a C section. My first was vaginal and I didn't have the awful overhang that I have now. At first I thought it was just me and that it was cos my stomach wasn't toned enough before I was pregnant but talking to others and reading posts on here and other sites, seems it's a thing with c section.

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Hairwizard · 11/02/2020 21:56

You are not alone. Im avoiding mirrors at the moment cos they make me cry when i look at myself. Never had such dark bags under my eyes as i do now, ive aged so much these last few months. Discovered other night after watching how to vid on checking for diastasis recti that i have it. 3 fingers wide! Seems to be above and below navel too. And quite deep. And im 7mths post birth. Fml. I feel ugly and unattractive and frumpy.
Have started doing some training in gym.again but now need to rethink my programme as theres stuff i shouldnt be doing due to the dias recti.
Feel embarrassed when i have to leave house most days as never usually have time for make up, cant mind last day i washed my hair but really need to tmw as batiste isnt going to hold out another day.

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Tamtam86 · 13/02/2020 12:17

I feel the same. I had my 2nd baby 7 weeks ago and I'm just so miserable with the way I look, I had a c section this time and a vaginal delivery first time and never got my figure back in between but this time I feel like it's hopeless and I'll just never look nice again. I was a size 8 before babies and now I'm a 12 and I just don't carry the extra weight very well on my frame. My old clothes either don't fit or just look awful, and I don't know how to dress for my current shape.

Anyway, sorry if that sounds really negative and sorry I don't have any advice but just wanted to say you're definitely not alone in feeling this way!

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popgoesperfection · 13/02/2020 13:33

It's nice to know there are others that feel this way, it's just so hard to accept your new body isn't !!

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Jeleste · 13/02/2020 14:02

I am so sorry you feel this way! But it's still early days, so try not to worry too much! After my first i literally popped right back down without wven doing anything. I was back at my normal weight, no stretch marks, no saggy skin,.. all great.
I put on so much weight during second pregnancy and i looked terrible afterwards. It took a long time to get back to normal. It actually took me 1.5 years just to find the motivation to actively try and lose the weight. I have never dieted before in my life. When DC was 2 i was back to almost normal though. Marks arent so visible anymore and my weight is back to normal.
Im obviously not my pre baby 20 year old self, but i like the way i look again.

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