Pnd rearing it's ugly head

[popgoesperfection]

So here I am 6 weeks pp to 2nd ds and pnd has reared it's ugly head again. I had hoped that being a second time mummy, I'd be more .... laid back, an earth mum, sitting around with lo attached to boob while I played games on the floor with 4 year old ds, that has so far, has not happened. Bf did not go as planned so am now bottle feeding (after much upset and guilt), bubba is going through an unsettled phase and I find myself getting stressed inside and wishing that he would just settle, ds is constant and always chatting away and playing and sometimes I my head I'm thinking can you be quiet for 5 minutes. Then kicks in the mummy guilt, ds just wants his mummy to play and bubba is just a baby, he needs me to cuddle and settle him. Hormones are torture sometimes and I just wish I enjoyed all parts of motherhood like my other mummy friends. Am I a bad mummy for feeling this way?

Omg no. You have just given birth 6 weeks ago! Please don't be too hard on yourself. You are just being completely honest agd having two kids, let alone a newborn and a 4 year old, is not easy!! It's difficult, demanding and relentless at times. I suspect a lot ppl just don't tell the truth about how flipping hard it is to have kids. What support did you have when you first had pnd, could you access the same things again? Big hugs, you sound like you're doing a fab job xx

No not at all. I had PND the second time about too. Please seek some help and remember you are doing a wonderful job and your children love you very much. Try to do some things your enjoy too. That are just for you.

Thankyou so much for your lovely comments!! I didn't seek support with first ds until he was 19 month old as I was too embarrassed to admit I was struggling. I hid it from everyone and mostly stayed home where I felt safe. When I finally went to see gp she prescribed medication. I was advised to continue with meds throughout pregnancy (which I did), and am still taking now. I suppose just some days I feel overwhelmed and need to rant to someone other than poor dp. Thankyou again ladies!!