I’ve had my C-sections and now I’m just so scared.

[SexlessBoulderBelly]

First time mum, had some issues during pregnancy and was told she would need to be delivered at 33 weeks by caesarean, they actually managed to monitor me until just over 37 weeks and ended up having the section on New Years Eve, Tuesday.

It’s never been my first choice but it was the safest options for us both so I followed medical advice.

I already have generalised and health anxiety, and now I can’t stop thinking about the recovery. I just can’t do it I feel so low.

I’ve read so many positive experiences, yet I keep thinking what if I’m that 1 in 100 women that get this that or the other!!

I feel like shitty mum already because I’m so so scared and feel ill at the though of my wound and the recovery that I’m not giving DD 100% of my attention. She’s amazing, so strong and beautiful. She was only 4lbs 8oz so I’m amazed that we came home after only 3 days in hospital, she’s such a trooper... I am not, I’m exhausting myself with worry and I don’t know how to cope with this for the next 6 weeks when I’ll be out the my theoretical ‘danger zone’ for the c section and wound.

Any advice or positive experience that could help me focus on DD and see that c sections aren’t that bad?! I really wanted this to be a positive experience for us, but so far I feel awful.

My main worries are

1. infection
2. pain
3. splitting my stitches open
4. constipation

Congratulations on your new baby!!!

You are day 3 right? Between day 3-6 is the peak of hormonalness! EVERYTHING is a huge worry. And that’s normal. Honest. So whilst that might not help the specifics you’ve mentioned, please know that everyone is anxious at this point, just about different things.

Btw all 3 of mine were CS. I had no infection, nothing split open, I stayed on top of my pain killers and took them regularly, and drank lots of water so wasn’t constipated. I DID feel like I’d done twelve million sit ups. And I had a lot of gas and farted a lot. A big lot.

Congratulations!

I've had 2 sections, recovered well from both.

Here's my tuppence worth :

1. infection - wash with a mild soap, dry with a clean, freshly laundered towel each time. If possible, allow yourself to air dry before dressing.

2. pain - take your meds. Cushion pressed on tum as you get up. Rest as much as possible.

3. splitting my stitches open- again, cushion on tum when getting up and down. Don't stretch too much

4. constipation - lentil and veg soup, loads of water, homemade apple sauce, dried fruit, strong coffee. You can have laxatives too, movicol is good I think?

Try and sleep, eat nourishing food and drink lots of water. Protein and vitamin C is good for recuperation and wound healing.

I've had 2 cs and can say you at a few days out are at the peak of hormones....they will settle down x

In regards to being a good mum ..... if your baby it being fed, changed and cuddled she will be happy.

Your stitches will prob be out in a couple days so just rest until then. Each time you move it gets easier. Wear big pants (men's boxers were fab for not irritating the scar)!

You are doing a fab job xx

I got infection pain and constipation! It's okay, they're not actually such a big deal compared to the whole birth thing. You recover.

Congratulations, it sounds as though you really did the best for your baby! It's hard to take care of yourself and the baby at the same time, but try to get rest when you can is my advice.

Pp has it spot on. But just to add some hospitals advice just to use water initially. I also used freshly laundered towels, flannels were useful too to dry the wound and use normal towel for rest of your body. Also infection isn't just about cleanliness, you can get it from overdoing it so make sure you have plenty of rest even when you start to feel better.
I also used to roll out of bed and use my arms to push up to reduce pressure on the wound.
Congratulations.

Hey op, I’m just going to mention a few things that, hopefully, will help soothe your worries:

*the splitting of stiches is extremely rare- can’t expythis enough.

*I had an infection in my wound and it was cleared easily by antibiotics and keeping it clean. No complications, no extra pain. If you’re worried you can contact your GP anytime.

*for constipation I suggest stool softeners such as Dulcolax. I used it after my emcs and managed to go the day after without much trouble (despite my piles from hours of trying to push 😂 ). It means you don’t have the anxiety of “pushing” too hard.

*as for pain, everything will feel a lot better after 2 weeks. The first week is the hardest. If you are suffering then you can ask for stronger painkillers. Obviously don’t over do it but movement and waking about helps to heal the stiches- ask someone else to help to with heavy lifting for the 1st 6 weeks (although I didn’t listen to that and my stickers are perfectly fine 12 months pp).

It’s really normal to feel anxious about your stiches. I know I did and I went to the doctors to get them checked a few times. They reassured me and were lovely about it.

Congratulations on your new bundle, op- and remember, the 1st few days/weeks are especially hard because of your hormones. Things will calm down and get easier x

Agree about the day 3 hormones. They are really something else. It’s perfectly normal for you to be all over the place.

As for the c/section - personally, my scar c was really neat and tidy with no infection or splitting. I was advised to have a bath with a free drops of tea tree oil in. I let it sit dry before redressing.
I’m still numb sound the scar now but it isn’t an issue.

I did get badly constipated but it was an easily solved problem and movicol was really helpful.

You may get some issues with recovery but the kilos of them being a serious problem is very very slim. Most of the coming problems have a simple solution with a full recovery. Try to focus on that fact. I know so many people who’ve has sections and none with any sort of serious or lasting problem.

Congratulations on your beautiful baby.

So many typos- sorry

Thank you all for your replies. I woke up very sore and feeling sorry for myself as first night at home I wasn’t woken for pain killers at night. I’ve taken some more now and I feel a lot better, still feeling quite emotional so I can completely agree with what most of you have said about being a crash in hormones and emotions.

I am going to speak to the midwife who’s coming today about how I’m feeling as I don’t want this to turn into post natal a depression given my history of MH I just want to be on the safe side and hopefully avoid PND. I think I’m just having baby blues now though.

I had my 2nd c section back in Oct. My top tips would be to keep on top of your pain relief even on days when you feel a bit better. For constipation lactulose, prunes and LOADS of water help as does holding a rolled up clean towel firmly over the wound when you do the toilet/sneeze/cough. My wound did become infected despite keeping it clean and thoroughly dry but antibiotics worked quickly and I kept a close eye on it to make sure it didn't get worse. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Very good idea to tell the midwife. And honestly, you really ARE in the depths of the hormonal crash so keep telling yourself “this is normal, this is normal.”

Spoke to the midwife today who reassured me of my worries. Had a little cry again today as baby is being weighed tomorrow was well as blood test to see if her jaundice is getting better, if she’s lost anymore weight she will need to go back to the hospital and if her jaundice is worse then the same. I can’t help but feeling she hasn’t gained enough weight. Our fingers are crossed though.

Thank you to everyone who posted. I feel better today, not 100% but definitely less shite than yesterday.

Congratulations!
It's such early days, you are likely in the midst of the worst days for your hormones so try to give yourself a break.
I had 2 sections, and would have a bath as often as I could with a couple of drops of tea tree oil as recommended by my Consultant & MWs - was much needed time for me, even if only 10 mins a day.
For pain & stitches - take your paracetamol & meds regularly, and try not to overdo things but also try to keep moving as well.
For constipation, if they haven't given you the lactulose from the hospital, Andrews Liver Salts really helped me.

Honestly, from my experience of 2 c-sections I think recovery was easier than a vaginal birth. No stiches in my vadge, no constipation, I didn't have any problems lifting stuff, no continence problems etc

Wounds can be tricky, but I had a good obstetrician both times and it healed pretty well - I had the occasional twinge at the scarring, but nothing problematic. Some people do get more pain/problems with the wound/scars but rarely anything that severe.

Ah sweetheart, I think I cried every day for months and months. It was like I’d had a layer stripped off somehow. The slightest thing set me off. Puppies, toilet roll adverts, the theme tune to some cbeebies program that I can’t even remember. All I could watch was Gardeners World. I’m assured this was a normal level of bonkers.

Hope all is well with your little one, am sure it’ll be fine x

Hi @SexlessBoulderBelly hope you and you DD are doing better now. Just to give you my 2p, I also have GAD and it manifests itself around healthcare (not being listened to, so slightly different to you). I also have tokophobia (fear of childbirth so ELCS was actually something I wasn't too worried about having compared to giving birth) and had my Section 2 months ago. I came down with a cold as we were sat waiting to go into theatre 😱 and it turned into a cough the day after... Was horrific coughing with abdominal surgery, but... No burst stitches! So you'll be absolutely fine with respect to that 👍

Congratulations my love!

Okay SO.

Infection is unlikely if you follow what you’ve been told by medical professionals with dressings and washing. Monitor the wound site for any heat, purulent discharge, a fever in yourself. Infections are easily resolved with antibiotics.

Pain - you’re over the worst of it darling. I remember the midwife telling me (whilst I was shuffling across the ward to the toilet and crying with pain) that it’s gets 100% better every day’. I know it doesn’t feel like it but you’ll be bouncing around again in no time.

Splitting stitches is damn near impossible if you are in pain, it warns your body not to do too much. Listen to it, don’t over exert yourself.

Constipation - eat a healthy balanced diet, take a stool softener and take your time.

You’ll be just fine darling xx

Well done on having spoken to your MW. & congratulations on your DD

Agree with all the above advice. I've had 2 CS & a great recovery both times

I hope the weigh in & jaundice check for well 🍀

Been there done that. I had a tiny 37 weeker with a c-section. And everything DID go a bit wrong with infection and readmission because baby didn’t gain weight. I remember the worry and stress and wish I could tell myself that everything is going to be fine. So even if things were to be a bit rocky (they won’t be!) but if... a few months down the line it’s all a distant memory and you’d look back and wonder what you got so worried about.

Dear OP

I recall you from the thread you started a few weeks ago on how some mothers are negative about their experiences rather than consistently positive. I was one of the people on that thread who had gently reminded you (and others) then that much is unknown until one actually goes through it, and the whole experience puts the body heart and mind through a wringer - which is really hard to explain unless one has been through it. So am reiterating once again that now that you are so freshly on the other side your experiences, including any negative thoughts, are normal. That doesn’t mean you couldn’t do with some help - but rather - feeling not so positive is well within the range of what’s common. That’s not you just bein negativeits just how things are.

If you’re breastfeeding then I found the NCT helpline super useful to moanto and get advice from. Writing down thoughts was useful too. Being open and candid with health visitors is important. Company is most important. Are there people who’d want to meet up with you - for a slice of cake and some gossip? It does really help.

You are not alone. Millions of other new mums have been in your shoes. Hang in there.

You'll be absolutely fine.

If you do get an infection it can be easily sorted out with antibiotics just keep an eye on your wound - or get your DH to check it everyday as it's hard to look yourself.

You won't bust your stitches if you don't do too much - don't get lifting anything or leaping about and it will be fine.

Keep taking your painkillers - just think it won't get any more painful than it currently is.

Constipation can generally be sorted v quickly - get some lactulose- it's very gentle and will help you if you feel you are going that way.

I didn't have any trouble at all from my CS. I know it differs for everyone but I recovered very quickly and very well. Just had a hysterectomy and was expecting the same and it was a bit more painful!! But 6 weeks on I'm doing fine. You'll probably find you will feel better before 6 weeks to be honest.

Give yourself a bit of time. Distract yourself whilst the baby is asleep - get into a tv series or something to take your mind off worrying - all your hormones are all over the place. I think most women get a bit of a worry obsession over something when the baby is born.

Congratulations 🥳

If you feel you're getting more and more worried have a chat with the midwife or doctor.

Thank you all for the kind messages.
The pain is easing and I’m finding myself more mobile everyday. I still can’t look at my incision myself I have to get DP to check it and I’ve asked my midwife to looks at it a couple times when she’s visited as I like the reassurance.

DD herself is an absolute dream. I just get a bit upset that due to being sore and not being as mobile I can’t do all the things DP is doing for her, I changed my first nappy after 3 days, even though it sounds daft I was really looking forward to having her and caring for her straight away but I’ve felt a bit useless to her being so immobile.
DP is extremely supportive and always reminds me I’m doing my best under the circumstances and we’ve got forever with her so I’m not missing out.

Ha TMI post also, I did the first c section poo and it was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting, miles off! I’d heard such horror stories that I had really worked myself up, but it was fine and I worried over nothing. I’m trying to use that experience with the rest of my recovery in that even though there will be plenty of horror stories, it might not be that bad!

Ah that’s great news OP.

You’re not alone in feeling that way with your baby girl. I remember DH getting up when she was 5 days old to find me sobbing because I’d decided to try and get her changed myself and it was my first time doing it due to my section recovery and she was crying and I couldn’t do it as easily as him and I felt so bloody useless that I couldn’t even change her babygro!

It won’t last though - in the end he disappeared back to work and I did 99% of it all. It still makes me smile when I look back to sobbing me on day 5 and how much I wanted to be the best parent I could be even then when all she really cared about was getting near my boobs.