Feeling like I'm failing.

[Neverbroken]

I feel like I can't let anyone know how I really feel. My baby will be 10 weeks on Wednesday. She came prematurely at 27, she has brought a happiness I never thought I would ever feel in life.

It's been hard doing it by myself, I keep making out to everyone I'm fine, I'm strong, I don't need any help but deep down I keep feeling like I'm not good enough for her and she deserves a lot better than someone like me. I feel like an all around failure and a little bit like I'm just going through the motions at the moment.

I have a 14 week old and often feel the same but it's so important not to be so hard on yourself! It's all so new and you are and will be learning and getting to know your little one every single day. I'm sure you are doing amazing but sleep deprivation can play havoc on your mind! The fact that you are worrying that you are failing shows that you care so much for your little one and that's all she needs. Don't beat yourself up and take it day by day.

I finally get to take her home tomorrow after 10 weeks back and forth to neonatal. While I'm excited I'm so very nervous! Everyone keeps on telling me how well I'm doing but I don't feel it. I just don't feel like I'm enough for her.

It sounds like you've had a really stressful start and being in a hospital environment with baby is not nice. You sound like you're doing so well and staying really strong. You will feel so much better when you get home and are in your own environment. It is terrifying at first but you will be amazed at how soon get into your own little routine. I cried every day in hospital as I just wanted to take my baby home and I was only there 5 days! Have you got anyone around that can help, I didn't want any help with the baby but having someone cook dinner, put the hoover round or even watch him sleep whilst I had a nice shower really made the world of difference.

My Aunty offered to help but she lives a distance away and I don't want to inconvenience anyone.

Take the help, she would not offer if it was an inconvenience. You need to look after yourself too so that you can be your best self for the baby, although we all experience mum guilt! You didn't mention the father, is he able to help?

Her father is abusive/narcissist, so it's just me.

you're already doing better than you think. Enjoy your baby, you'll be ok. Accepting help is not inconveniencing anyone. Ask your midwife/health visitor for support.