New baby after PN anxiety and depression with 1st

[Myspiritan]

Hi my baby #2 is currently 1week old. I had PN anxiety and depression after my first and really hated those newborn days until things started to improve around 6 months.

I’ve tried to prepare so that I don’t have a repeat experience, however I’m already getting the extreme waves of anxiety that I got last time that come with the hormone flip flop after birth and I’m struggling to stay in control and convince myself that this doesn’t mean I’m going down the same path as last time. Does anyone have any experience of having a baby after PN anxiety and getting beyond the baby blues intact? Or if you had a recurrence, how did you deal with it with a toddler in tow? TIA

Hi OP!

We just wanted to bump this for you really, in hopes someone will be along soon who might be able to help. It's sometimes a bit quiet in here so you could always try posting in the main mental health boards or in Chat if you like, too?

In the meantime, here's a page we wrote about PND. It sounds like, unfortunately, you've already been there and done that, but just in case there's anything there that might be of help.

We hope you'll stick around on Mumsnet anyway. There's lots of support here at all times of day and night so hopefully you'll find plenty of like-minded people who've been there before to chat to.

I've had PD and anxiety with both my babies and currently expecting my 3rd. I have a great support system in place if I need any help. I found that things improved faster the 2nd time I had it around the 4 month mark. My advice is get as much sleep as you can its makes such a differnce and take it one day at a time. If you need a good cry have one.

Hey op, bumping for you too. I’m in the same boat, though a few weeks behind you. I also have those worries. I’m hoping a bit more confidence this time will equip me for dealing with everything a bit better, but it’s a scary thing.

Does your toddler go to nursery? How are you HV team? x

Hi thanks for the replies, yes my toddler has 2 days in nursery which we’re keeping. We’re doing things differently this time, I’ve got much more help and support and we’re completely settled into our community now with good friends with kids etc which we didn’t have before. I’m also hoping that my toddler’s routine will help things feel normal quicker. I’ve been taken a back by how I felt anxious again so quickly after birth just like last time, even with all the differences and feeling much more confident. @NotSoThinLizzy you’re so brave having another!! I’m convinced I’m done at 2!!! What helped you get better quicker the second time?

I think knowing that it'll pass soon and not getting stuck in the cycle of what ifs. And any intrusive thoughts I would argue with them. Also doing relaxation techniques helped but can be hard to do with a wee one. I have guaranteed time to myself every night in the form of a bath and that really helps to just switch of for 30 mins.

I ended up being diagnosed with postpartum psychosis, pnd and gad after the arrival of dc1. Dc2 I had what I'd call baby blues but nothing anywhere near as bad as with my first.

I think reminding myself that I knew what to do (roughly), helped a lot as did having a bigger support network the second time around. I tried to keep to our routine so dc2's first baby class was when she was around 5 days old as that gave me less time to over think things.

Yes I’m trying to practice allowing the thoughts but not discussing them. I think as soon as I feel the anxiety I get trapped in a continuous internal dialogue about how I’m feeling which just fuels it. I’m trying to persuade myself to just roll with it, and not get anxious about getting anxious, but easier said than done! I know what you mean about routine @Dinosauratemydaffodils I’m desperate for some normality but we actually put in place more support which means my husband is off for another 3 weeks which is amazing for rest but means we’re in a weird perpetual baby/weekend state. Think I might try getting out and about a bit this weekend