PND and anxiety about the future

[ArrabellaAM]

Hi, I've got a 9 week old and I'm in my 4th week of taking antidepressants. Initially I felt better really quickly which I wasnt expecting after only a week of starting my medication. The last couple of days my mood has been slipping again and the anxiety and dread has come back.

One of my biggest worries at the moment is how I'll cope when my LO is older. I dont know exactly what it is I'm worried about but I just get this feeling of dread and anxiety when I think about it, having been at a baby group the other day it was so lovely seeing the older babies but it suddenly made me worry.

When I was feeling better the other week I stopped worrying so much and felt like I was coping better so I should know it's going to go away again but I think I could do with some reassurance if anyone else has felt similar?

Hi, my little one is 8 weeks old and I am also on medication for post natal anxiety and depression. Just wanted to say that I know how you feel. Try and hang on to the fact that you have felt better and you will do again, this will definitely pass. Have you ever had CBT or similar? Hope you have someone you can talk to if you're struggling. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more.

Its such a relief to finally hear someone else feels the same way! I know there are other people but no one ever admits to it and its just so frustrating and hard having to deal with all this as well as look after a newborn.
I saw the gp the other day and have increased my meds and he suggested CBT. I definitely want to give it a go but not sure how I'll work childcare out as my OH and family all work!

Hope that the increase in medication helps you feel more on top of things again. I find it incredibly frustrating because I just want to enjoy this time but it's all such a struggle.

Sorry to hear you are struggling to PND. I did too, and it does get easier as trite as that sounds.

What aspect of older children worries you?

I feel exactly like that too! I definitely have days where I can enjoy it but sometimes the slightest thing will give me a sudden feeling of dread/anxiety. The other day he looked so cute and was smiling and I suddenly felt how much pressure I was under to do the best I can for him.

With regards to him being older - I worry that I wont be able to entertain him or keep him happy, that I won't have the energy/drive to do what I think I should do.

I've spoken about it with family and I recognise it's the depression talking cause I'm having to work hard to motivate myself. Usually its when I'm tired and I feel like I'm not quite good enough or that I should be doing better. I've always put quite a bit of pressure on myself.

Luckily I definitely feel bonded with him hes amazing and so happy so thats one positive! I just feel an immense amount of pressure and responsibility which I'm struggling to get used to. It seems to take over sometimes.

It's good to hear that it gets easier. I've had depression in the past and the medication definitely worked this just feels so different to the way I felt before.

I'm exactly the same, the anxiety and depression makes you question and doubt yourself. I think it can become a vicious circle. I am so overwhelmed with the pressure of wanting to be good enough and do the right thing and not let my little boy down in any way. To me it is different from 'normal' anxiety/depression because I know I have to be ok for his sake, I can't take time out or shut off from the world.