Need help making mental switch about my life

[BibbleBrain]

Hi, I had my second in January and I really need to shift my attitude but I don’t know how to.

I’m stuck in this awful place where I look in the mirror and don’t recognise this miserable fat person looking back at me. I’m exclusively breastfeeding a baby who will only reluctantly take a bottle, still feeds 8-9 times a day at 6 months and won’t nap in anything but a carrier. He won’t feed under a cover and having had to show my breasts to so many consultants I really don’t want to get them out in public so am stuck in house.

I can’t stop feeling resentful of my husband. He goes to work he spent 12 hours with my permission at the cricket yesterday though think he was taking the piss to ask on the one day I get his help. I talk to him about it and all I now get in returns is a snarled “I get it, you hate our life”.

I have very little to do but eat and have managed to do just enough exercise to not gain any more weight but don’t have energy to stop eating crap. Pre first kid I was pretty good at my chosen sport co-held veteran (oldies) world records and now I can barely move. I asked a coach for technique pointers as back was painful and was told issue was weight distribution and there was no point messing up technique before I’d lost weight. This has now become a standing joke I hate at said sports club.

What can I do to shift this. The kids are so happy, my GP agrees I’m exhausted rather than depressed and that I do have a challenging baby from a day sleep perspective.

I’d just like to be happy and escape the horrid Groundhog Day drudgery my life has become.

I'm so sorry for your situation. I think it is really important for you to try to get out of the house if you possibly can, if only for the change of scene. Can your GP offer any other practical advice? Do you have a support network (neighbours, family, friends) who can help with the baby and give you some much-needed rest? Are you still meeting with a health visitor and, if so, have you discussed your concerns with them? Can any of the groups mentioned in this link help you? www.nhs.uk/conditions/post-natal-depression/treatment/ (I know you said the doctor ruled out depression, but the support groups may be able to offer some advice). Sorry I can't offer any more useful advice - hopefully another poster will be able to help.

Sending you a virtual hug.

GP’s advice is get family help, family lives near Scotland and still works. Friends wise all working and no Mum friends - our NCT group with our firsts is a bit of a disaster!

Tried to tell health visitor how much I was struggling with the constant feeding and her answer was that I needed to keep going until weaning if he wouldn’t willingly take a bottle and to write to GP to tell her exactly same things I had myself!

Will take a look at the links anything could help! I just need to find a way to accept my identity at present is only Mum if a baby rest will come back but not until he’s a bit older and weaned.

And thank you for hug - I appreciate it

Gosh, that must be so tough without a support network of other Mums. Are there any mother and baby groups in your area (they may only operate in term-time - most of mine have broken up for the Summer)? I've also heard meetup.com mentioned a few times on mumsnet. I haven't used the site myself, but I note that there is a family group section.

www.meetup.com/find/parents-family/

I hope some of the links in my other post help. xx