Do I have postnatal depression?

[VelvetB]

Sorry for the long post! Hoping some impartial views might help me make sense of how I'm feeling. I've been feeling very low for a little while now but I'm not sure if these are just normal feelings (given that I have a lot on my plate) or if it's something more.

I've got 3 children. My eldest DS is 11 and has a learning disability. He is very intense and can create a lot of tension in the house. Just for background my other half is his step dad and whilst DS sees his dad every other weekend for one night all the responsibility falls to me. He is challenging and whilst not badly behaved or anything he is anxious, whiny, repetitive etc which is hard sometimes. Don't get me wrong he has many good points but the hard times out weigh the good iyswim.

I also have 3 year old DS and 9 month old DD. I work full time and DD is not great at sleep - she's been at nursery full time for 2 weeks when I went back to work and has already started picking up bugs. I've got a job that I love and the potential to progress etc. It's also really flexible and I have great colleagues. My 3 year old is a lovely easy child and keeps me sane most days.

My other half is really good with helping out and we do take it turns with early starts etc. He'd also do anything if I asked him in terms of childcare etc. However I can't help but feel a bit of a simmering resentment that I have to ask and I'm always the one who's slightly more knackered.

So whilst on paper I have it all and feel guilty that I have so much, I just feel tearful and over whelmed. Not sure if I just need to create a bit me time - I used to love running for example - but then I feel so bloody exhausted

So am I expecting too much? Do I just need to slow down and accept this bit is hard bloody work or is it something more?

It sounds like you are having to deal with lot of challenges and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to somebody about how you are feeling. Maybe GP or HV to start off with?

Take care of yourself and remember, it's ok to feel tired and overwhelmed sometimes. And it does sound like you're having to deal with a lot. Xx

Thank you for the reply@bellainthemiddle

The low feelings come and go, but I've booked an appointment with my GP to talk it through

I'm still feeling so up and down - it's a real effort to make myself cheerful. I'm a real coper normally and thankfully have never suffered with depression before.

Has anyone got to 10months with a baby and suddenly started to feel this way. I'm even wondering if I should leave my relationship.

My doctors appointment is Monday but I'm scared to be too honest with them in case it has repercussions

I just want to be happy and enjoy my family

I have 3 children too and honestly it is hard work. My second child has been very difficult even from when she was a baby bless her. I have also had highs and lows and would recommend you talking to your health visitor. You need to create some me time to recharge your batteries. When you give 3 children your all, by the end of each day it can be fairly normal to feel absolutely knackered and sometimes being excessively tired can make you feel tearful. You need more support. If you begin to get intrusive thoughts or feel very low then please get to the doctor ASAP. Have a look on the NHS website at the symptoms of PND and see how many you feel that you have and then talk each one through with your GP. There are also support groups and helplines. PND aside, 3 children is not easy when you don't have enough support. I hope you feel better soon