Needing Some Support... 5 days PP, no sleep, Anxiety

[AlexanderSalamander]

Hi all,

I suppose I'm just here looking for some support and hopefully positivity...

Feel like I'm crazy.

Had my baby boy on Friday 21st, a perfect birth, although came away being anemic and developed blood clots in my leg on Monday. It's not DVT as they're in my varicose veins but they're painful. I'm now on Tinzaparin blood thinner. Today the veins seem more swollen to me and are more painful. Hoping to go back to see the Dr about them tomorrow.

I've only had about 4 hours sleep each day/night since birth and although I'm tired, I seem to have insomnia. Have a history of anxiety and am feeling it come back now. Off food but forcing it down. Been having palpitations each night which is worrying me but I think it's due to lack of sleep and anxiety. My heart pounds when I try to sleep and the worries whirl in my head.

Honestly feel like I might die from all this.

Husband is so supportive and has been doing lots to help. I'm really lucky. But still worrying and tired.

xxx

I would have a doctors appointment / call the health visitor team.

I found emotionally it very hard after having my son and they may be able to advise or assist.

It may be your natural anxiety being heightened by the big whirl of hormones you are dealing with ... but they will be your best bet in understanding.

I hope it gets better soon! And congratulations x x

Thank you x

I have seen my midwife today and asked for the perinatal mental health team to help me (I had PND after my 1st baby too) and she also suggested I see my GP so I'm going to go tomorrow x

I had my baby girl 4 weeks ago and I felt exactly as you described from week 1 until week 3.
I feel like a massive part of mine was the sleep deprivation! I know its so much easier said than done but try and get some sleep whenever you can - if your hubby can do a full night and let you sleep in the spare room for a night or two or if a family member can come round in the morning and take baby downstairs once he/she is awake and let you stay in bed?
I struggled to accept help/support with baby and as soon as I did I started to slowly feel better.
I had such bad anxiety in the evening because I knew i wasnt going to get much sleep that night and I never knew how good/bad the night might go.
I also completely lost my appetite which meant I lost 2 stone in the first 2 weeks from this and having baby - this definitely doesnt help either - force some food and vitamins down and even more importantly lots of water!! On days when I didnt drink enough i definitely felt worse.
Wishing you a speedy recovery - that feel is horrific and my heart goes out to you x

My anxiety goes through the roof to the point where I feel like I cannot cope and I'm on edge if I havnt had enough sleep! Mine started with mainly anxiety but now at 6 weeks I'm crying daily as well wasnt expecting it to be this hard! I'm planning on seeing my gp as well! What did yours say/do?

@Tayel thank you. Its been teary difficult but today has been the first day that I've felt a bit better. I did get more sleep so I think that is the biggest part of it, you're right. I'm breastfeeding so my hubby cant really do much in the night, plus I want him to sleep so that hes refreshed enough to take care of our 2 year old, which he has been doing along with taking care of me and the house. And as for a family member or friend, we really have no one that we could ask to help at all, we're quite alone. I have also been forcing food down still and drinking lots and I think that's helped with the tiredness as well as not eating much would have been making me feel worse too.
Thank you for your reply, its comforting to know that someone else felt the same and is now feeling better, and it gives me hope that I can get through this x

@ArrabellaAM same! I had PND with my first baby, medication was suggested with her but as I'd had anxiety for many years previous and always rejected medication and had CBT, I rejected it for the PND too for 10 months. However counselling for the PND didn't work and it got to the point then when I started thinking that my baby and husband would be better off without me, so I went for the meds. I was on Sertraline for about 8 months and they really helped, to my surprise! I stopped them again to try for this 2nd baby.
If you're crying daily I really would suggest you speak to your GP and get some help too as that sounds like PND... I do recommend it, even just to take the edge off of how you're feeling and help you to get through day by day.
I saw my GP on Thursday. He checked my leg and didn't think anything needed doing just yet and I'm having my bloods and an ECG done on Tuesday to check on my anaemia and the palpitations, which he thinks is down to the anaemia anyway. I already asked my midwife for the perinatal mental health team to get in touch with me, in case I started to feel as bad as last time... I thought it would be best to have that contact already set up rather than have to wait again. Maybe you could do that too? Although, my GP said it is probably too early to think about antidepressants just yet, so I'm going back to see him in a week, just for a catch up on how I'm feeling. My GP is just amazing, he really listened to everything I had to say/complain about and he told me about his own experience with having two children, and how hard it was for him and his wife in the beginning too, which just helped me to see that other people do struggle too and it helped me to accept that. Just having the next appointments booked too has given me peace of mind that I'm being looked after.
All I can say is that, although friends and family seem to post on Facebook about how great they're doing after having a baby, they really probably are not. Everyone seems to struggle one way or another, just no one shares it. I certainly haven't with most of my friends, just close family. Wish we could all be honest with each other and say yeah this first week has been really $#*t lol, I've had no sleep, I cant stop worrying and I feel like I might die. But yeah the baby is doing well!
I know I'm full of hormones but I've even felt guilty about having a 2nd child for disrupting my first childs life and not being able to be there for her as much these first few days. She's spent most of the time with my husband, and although shes loving life right now, I've missed her and felt guilty for changing our family life, so I'm hoping that this will pass too.
So I will see how this next week goes, hopefully will be better than this week, I'm just getting through it one day at a time x

I saw my gp today, theyve started me on sertraline. I've taken it before but thanks to the anxiety I'm getting atm I'm so nervous about the side effects! Just telling myself it will be fine and if I do get any it will only be a few weeks!
I absolutely agree with what you say about people not being honest, I've told all my friends who havnt had children yet how hard the first week is just to prepare them because I wish I had been!
Glad your gp is so supportive and thorough.
We will get ourselves sorted!!

@ArrabellaAM I totally understand! I took 100mg Sertraline before and only had minor side effects of dry skin. I've been worried already incase I need to take it again that I'll have side effects this time! But that's what anxiety does to us. Rest assured that the Sertraline will take those thoughts away. I was reading another thread where others were discussing Sertraline and some said that it started working for them in days. What strength are you on? Sending hugs as I completely understand how you're feeling x

Just on 50mg at the moment but seeing the gp again monday. I honestly think I despise the anxiety more than the depression, I hate the second guessing and constant worrying about everything. Its helping knowing other people feel the same and I'm just hoping the sertraline will help me to cope/feel like I'm coping!
How are you feeling?

@ArrabellaAM Well hopefully the tablets will help you anyway, just need to take the edge of your anxiety. Yep, the anxiety heightens everything and is worse than the depression IMO and the anxiety amplifies it. I've been feeling better these last few days. I've got more sleep, had my bloods checked and had an ECG which all came back fine other than still being anemic which I expected and just generally settled in to having a toddler and a new baby I think, so hopefully thinks are getting better. How have you been?

That's great news!
I'm feeling worse at the moment but it's got to be the side effects of the sertraline so hopefully it shouldn't last too much longer! I've been taking the LO out and about though which helps!

@ArrabellaAM hi, how are you feeling these days? Are you still on the Sertraline and have they worked for you?x

@AlexanderSalamander hi there just read your reply you said regarding "felt guilty for changing our family life" omg I so get that.
Lately I've been getting all anxious and fretting about stuff that I know is daft but for some weird reason I'm getting all worked up about,
I've got a 15 & 13 year old... then had my youngest who is 2! So I get all worked up about how their lives have changed and how I feel I don't spend enough time anymore with my eldest 2 like I did do for years!!

I went to the drs last week & referred myself for CBT but maybe I do need something to help take the edge of my stresses. Never been like this before so kept thinking it's my Coil .. and my hormones.. but maybe it's just me being a stress head xx

I had this with my first nearly 7 years ago but thought it was normal anxiety for someone that had been on beta blockers etc and been anxious before - this time around realised it was different amd after nothing working I tried homoeopathy 2 weeks in. Worked in less than 24 hours. Phosphorus 30c for a few doses, worked amazingly. I know homoeopathy is a contentious topic but do try it if you're open to it it's brilliant. Sites like Helios sell the remedy as sugar pillules and very cheaply, just make sure you follow the instructions so no food/drink for 20m either side and don't touch the remedy tip it from the lid to your mouth as its just sugar with a very slight coating. Wish I'd known/tried it with DD1. I know a lot of people think it's woo or at best placebo but honestly I don't care if it is because the result was such a relief. Good luck OP