42 too old to have another?

[ReSistingPink]

Hi-

it took hubby and I 18years to have our first baby. (Ectopics both sides, needed IVF etc etc, same old story)
💗She's now 2 and a half.

We both REALLY WANT another. I have 6 frozen embryos waiting for me still.

I mentioned to my GP and she balked and rolled her eyes and said I need to consider it very seriously.
(My blood pressure is an issue at the moment, but it's under control and I intend to get very healthy before I do go again).

What do ye think? Any plus40s out there with bp issues who've had healthy pregnancies? Would love some confidence but honesty also welcome.
Thank you for reading. (My first post, sorry if it's mislabelled)

I know quite a few people who had babies in their 40s. Your chances of success are obviously reduced but there’s no reason not to if you have the energy. Good luck.

I think you will never know until you try. I had a baby at 41, and didn’t feel too old.
Good luck

My 47 year old friend has just had twins. Her first set are 16!

I had 4th baby at 42, he's now 5. Older kids are 22, 21, 18....I love the gap and they love their brother. I don't feel too old, hubby is 50 next week

I had mine at 45. Wasn’t planned. I just thought I was a bit tired & run down when I went to the GP but there ds was, on the ultrasound.

The shock nearly killed me, but once I was past that, I had an uneventful pregnancy. As long as you pace yourself, you can do it. You know how you feel, don’t ignore any issues.

DS is 10 now. He’s been a joy.

I had my third last year at 44. As you both really want another, there’s really no reason not to go for it imo. You’ve got a window of a few years left and even though the risks may be higher it sounds as if you’d regret it if you didn’t at least try.

Yes I would say too old
I’m the child of an older parent
Wonderful as a child
Age-related illness in late teen
Passed away in my mid twenties

And I’m a single, full time working mum so I do everything. I’m careful to work at being fit & healthy but otherwise I don’t do anything special.

In your situation I'd be making the most of those embryos.

@Romax

With every respect. My older kids lost their Dad in a car crash, he was 27 they were 3, 5 & 6. He was 21 when oldest was born so a very young Father. My parents were both born to Mum's in their 40's who lived healthy lives into their 80's and as they had us kids starting when my Mum was only 16 () they were both still working grannies when we were at school. My experiences are very different from yours but having a baby in your 40's doesn't mean you won't necessarily be around for them.

@FredMerc

Yes of course there is a possibility that a younger parent could be struck by a terminal illness

But let’s be honest. It is statistically more likely that, the older we get, the more vulnerable we are to becoming ill. This is a fact.

And it is a heck of a lot easier to deal with a sick parent and then loss when you are 35 (although still horrific) than it is as a 15 year old.

I would say yes
I was the child of older parents and my mum passed away when I was in my teens.
For a long time I really wished she had not had me when she was older.

I had my 2nd at 43.
I'm delighted I got to have another before it was too late. I'm 47 now and have a 14 and a 4 year old. It's bliss mostly.
I did feel every bit of 10 years older though from when I had my first. But only because I had something to compare it to.
I do get asked if I'm the grandmother sometimes which does upset me as I feel I keep myself quite young, but I guess it's a normal question to be asked.

I think you’ve got to take into consideration how old you’ll be when you’re child has children of their own and how you may not be able to help with childcare or have the energy to be a hands on grandparent. Also I think if you get poorly when you’re elderly then it would be a lot to ask them to help care for you. Obviously it’s up to you at the end of the day but that’s the things I’d think hard about before having children later on in life.

I had my third a week before my 43rd birthday. Uneventful pregnancy and minimal input in pregnancy. No one seemed worried as I had done it before. I think yes, go for it and see what happens. If you have embryos you will regret not giving it a go.

I’m going to agree with Romax to a degree here. Older parents can often be lost sooner but as you have a 2 year old it might actually be better for them to have some sibling support in the future?

I had my third child at 42. Easy pregnancy and delivery. She is a full on hellion though!

I had my first at 39 after multiple miscarriages and my second at 42 (after a year of trying to conceive). GD in both pregnancies, second one required insulin, despite a BMI of 24.5 and ruthlessly controlled diet. Local NHS care was brilliant. My husband and I work eight days a week between us and I will say that I am permanently tired but we have never regretted trying for and having a second. Would we have done things differently and had our children earlier if the option had been open to us? Without a doubt as I think, for me, early-mid 30s would have been ideal. But it simply didn’t work out that way for us so we continued to try. Difficulties in life look different for everyone, as does the extent of any support network you have available to you, etc. I don’t think I know anyone who is entirely free from difficulties or sadnesses in life, whether younger or older than us, and none of us can predict the future.
Good luck to you whatever you decide.

I'm 41 and deciding whether to ttc for second child. My age is not one of the things that would stop me (not wanting to go through pregnancy and having a new born again would be my main reason to decide against).

Yes there could be potential problems of supporting an elderly parent as a young adult. But my mum became very ill with a serious long term illness when I was in my 20s, despite being a working age adult herself. You can't guarantee what will or won't happen.

In your shoes I’d absolutely try it. Better than a life of what ifs.

Currently Expecting my second at nearly 41, go for it if you feel you can manage doesn’t matter what other people think, situations change all the time

I had a baby at 42 but had pregnancy issues because of high bp even thought it's usually controlled by medication.
For the last 3 mths of pregnancy I had to go to hospital 3 times a week for checks and wS regularly kept in.
Also had ore eclampsia so was induced 3 weeks early in labour for 3 days then an emergency CS

I stopped at 1...

pre eclampsia!

1st at aged 46. Absolutely no regrets. I'd go for it rather than think " what if"

Hi- not sure how replies work- hopefully I'm replying to all.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I didn't know that I was getting any replies or I would have answered individually.

I think leaving my child 'early' without a sibling is my greatest concern. I think I'm going to have to go for it though. Like many of you said, it's worth trying and never wondering what if...
I'll most likely be 43 getting pregnant but it will be worth it.

I really appreciate all the feedback. It sounds very positive in my favour and I thank you all for that.💗