Post Natal Depression Struggles

[Roomarmoset]

Morning
I'm just posting to see if anyone else is in the same position. I have a 3 month old daughter. The birth was long but pretty straight forward.

Since being home I've found things quite difficult but it seems to be getting worse. Over the last couple of weeks she just seems to hate life and is fussy and upset most of the time she's awake.

We took her to the GP who said it could be colic. We have switched to anti-colic bottles and colief but that doesn't seem to have helped.

My mum is wonderful, as is my husband and also his parents but I don't know how to get out of this dark cloud. I've been to the doctors and have been told to 'get out more' and 'take help', both of which I do every day. I am due to go back to the GP in two weeks but things aren't getting better.

I have some friends that have babies around the same age and they seem to have very happy content babies who sleep through. It just feels like I'm the only one 😢

Anyone else struggling?

Hiya. First of all you are NEVER alone. Postnatal depression isn't rare, according to studies its 1 in 5 of us, but so many mums won't want to open up about it in fear of being judged so I reckon it's more like 1 in 4.

Please don't feel bad or be too hard on yourself. It is such a big adjustment, especially if you have a baby that cries a lot or seems very unsettled.

I had postnatal depression after my son was born nearly two years ago. But I also had a very traumatic birth, strong difficulties breastfeeding, a baby that cried non stop (colic, reflux) and was surviving on 2-3 hours sleep every night. So if you tally that all up it's actually no surprise that I became unwell.

My main pieces of advice to you would be to be totally upfront and honest with your doctor, and also one family or friend member who you can tell EVERYTHING to. Not just the surface, but the thoughts and fears you're having. It feels so lonely when you're stuck in it, I remember describing it to my therapist like trying to walk through thick mud. But I promise you it will ease up over time. Time is the biggest healer and was for me, which I know it's helpful for you now but I truly thought I would never recover from how I felt. A couple of others things - get out, like others have advised, it is the best instant therapy, fresh air to clear your head. Even if it's just a half hour stroll, download podcasts to your phone and listen to scummy mummies or my dad wrote a porno (haha), lastly download Headspace and try it out a couple of times. It is guided meditations that really helped me when I felt at my worst. If that doesn't take your fancy then try and do something for yourself once a week.

I know most of the focus is on the new baby right now, but you are also adjusting to this new change. You deserve some TLC and you are amazing for talking about how you're feeling. Keep talking, keep sharing and keep keeping on. You will get there, I did x

Oh and get yourself a positive planner! It's all in the book so I won't babble on. Game changer x

www.thepositiveplanner.co.uk/products/the-positive-planner

When my baby was 5.5mths I finally went to the doctor for PND. What tipped me to finally go was my mum asking was motherhood all I’d dreamed it would be, with her assuming of course that the answer would be yes.

In actual fact the answer was no. I was miserable almost every day, and hating myself for not enjoying it more.

Like your baby my son also had feeding problems so I changed him milk, his bottles, tried various other things and was constantly second guessing myself.

Things have improved for me nearly 2 mths on with the help of antidepressants. They aren’t the entire answer but they give me enough of a push to do things like get out of the house more, and feel more motivated around the house.

I now have the odd low day, but mostly good days. The low days are still very hard, but I know that I’ll try again the next day to be better.

Today my son has been super grumpy so I took him to go get some groceries just to get a change of scene. I wouldn’t have bothered before.

When he’s whinging I stick on some music or the radio in the background as a distraction.

I really feel for you as I know what it’s like. What makes it harder is everyone’s obsession that life should be perfect, and you’re not allowed to admit it’s hard. I have a cousin who had a baby that had to be fed every 3 hours day and night for months and when I said it must be hard on her, she said oh I don’t mind. Why can people not admit it’s hard, it doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.

Talk to your GP and discuss treatment options. I wish now I had of went sooner.

Just realised this turned into an essay, sorry!