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Postnatal health

As with all health-related issues, please seek advice from a RL health professional if you're worried about anything.

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Original poster

Overwhelmed by toddler and newborn

14 replies

Geezajingle · 18/03/2019 02:33

I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, my anxiety is through the roof. I’m trying to feed my newborn, who is cluster feeding and crying, whilst comforting my toddler who has point blank refused to go to bed and now wants to be held. Coupled with all of this I’m sitting in my bathroom as I feel completely nauseous from my anxiety 😭😭 I just feel like I’m failing my whole family. No real point to this just looking for a handhold and some mummy solidarity

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dreichuplands · 18/03/2019 02:37

That sounds pretty grim. Do you have a bed big enough for you and toddler to sleep in? Is there anyone around to help you. ☕️💐

Palace13 · 18/03/2019 02:40

Oh love, it's bloody tough, isn't it?? I've been exactly where you are now. I got through it. You will too.
What you may need is help to get there.
Get straight onto your health visitor or GP and tell them you're struggling. There's absolutely no shame in doing that.
Also if you have anyone close to you, tell them you need some help. Don't put a brave face on.
Sending you hugs. I know it's really tough. Reach out for help. You deserve it.

Original poster

Geezajingle · 18/03/2019 02:42

I’ve tried all that but she just won’t lie down to sleep, DH sorted them till midnight but he has an early start so needs a sleep. I’ve got newborn in a rocker chair and toddler has colouring and stickers to do but won’t go and sit down 😭

OP posts:

nononoyesno · 18/03/2019 02:46

You're not failing at all - it's bloody hard and you're taking care of everyone. How old is your newborn? Remember the cluster feeding will get better and things will improve. My newborn is a couple of months old now and the feeding is starting to space out and it feels like toddler is starting to adjust (although I nearly started a thread earlier titled 'how will I manage tomorrow'!!). I hope you have some help and support,

dreichuplands · 18/03/2019 02:47

It does pass. palace is right, make sure that you get help for your anxiety in the morning. Over tired non sleeping toddler and unsettled crying newborn would be enough to make anyone frazzled.

LikeSilentRaindrops · 18/03/2019 02:50

I promise you’re not failing anyone and neither of the kids will even remember tonight.

Can you get a duvet and make up a sort of bed on the floor next to toddler’s bed for yourself and newborn? At least then you might be able to get some semblance of safe sleep together.

How old is your toddler? I have a 4 year old, so probably older, but would be tempted to tell older child they could play in their room quietly while you go back to your room. Chances are in my case she’d wear herself out it and fall asleep by herself.

Hang in there

Original poster

Geezajingle · 18/03/2019 02:53

Thank you, I almost really needed to know I’m not alone. Newborn is 2 weeks and toddler is 2 and 3 months. It will pass but in the dark of the night with these two little people depending on me i feel like a failure. I had a tough pregnancy and was very unwell, it seems that after a lull after the birth my anxiety has come back full throttle. I’ve had loads of help but in laws went home yesterday and DH went back to work so I’m having to learn to cope, it just feels like an overwhelming task. I’ve appointments with the perinatal mental health team for my anxiety but not until April

OP posts:

LikeSilentRaindrops · 18/03/2019 02:59

The middle of the night with a new baby can be the shittiest time (she says, feeding a newborn). My cat helps me keep my sanity - he’s a lovely purry ball of fluff and a quick cuddle with him helps me feel not so alone when one or both children are shouting at me!

Do what you need to do to survive - like I said, nobody will remember this apart from you, so sleep on the floor or let the toddler play a bit etc. The fact that you’re even questioning if you’re a good mum means you’re doing just fine

Original poster

Geezajingle · 18/03/2019 02:59

I’ve resorted to the iPad but she’s not interested and only wants to sit on my knee. I thought she’d have cracked by now and fallen asleep. No such luck 😭

OP posts:

dreichuplands · 18/03/2019 03:11

OP, you haven't failed at anything. You are up caring for two DC by yourself. Kids don't always sleep well, it isn't parental failure, it is just a sad fact of life.

snowone · 18/03/2019 03:16

Keep going lovely! I'm 13 days overdue now with DD2 and DD1 is 4.5. I'm absolutely bricking it. Just remember you are doing an amazing job

Original poster

Geezajingle · 18/03/2019 06:38

Thank you everyone for your kind words, we made it through the night and everything always seems a little better in the morning. Toddler and baby eventually slept at 4.30 and I got an hours sleep. Luckily toddler is off to my mums so hopefully catch up a bit more later and reset myself for tonight. Hoping I can get a doctors appointment today or tomorrow

OP posts:

nononoyesno · 18/03/2019 07:15

All the best for today

TeaForDad · 18/03/2019 07:45

We struggled a bit with 2yo and 2wo.

It's the hardest time, it gets better.

We did mention MH to the midwife and we watched together, but it improved with no action.

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