Intrusive thoughts since baby/PND

[mrsjones23]

Since I had my much wanted DD in September I have struggled with anxious thoughts.
I've always suffered with anxiety anyway but as soon as we got home from hospital I started to think 'omg one day she will be old and die' I cried and cried to my mum and husband who thought I was pretty strange for having these thoughts. The doctor put me on antidepressants and said I had PND.
My wonderful Nan died quite unexpectedly in December which has not helped the situation at all. I'm terrified of getting old myself and even more terrified of my DD getting old. What's wrong with me?!

There’s nothing wrong with you. I’ve had the same thoughts. Having a baby makes you think about the whole “circle of life” thing and realise your mortality. I still feel sick when I think that I won’t always be here for my DS. But by then he’ll probably have his own partner and family to look after him.

I think it’s really common for new mums to have anxiety/intrusive thoughts. It’s a massive change and quite overwhelming knowing you’re responsible for this tiny little person who you love to bits.

Keep taking your meds, talk to your friends/support network. If it begins to interfere with your daily life, or you feel you’re getting worse go back to your GP and request different meds/more support.

Everyone talks about how lovely it is being parent, but it’s bloody horrifying at times!

Thankyou for your response. Glad I'm not the only one who has felt this way. She just looks so little and vulnerable at the moment. I guess I forgot one day she will have her own little family and partner who will also love and protect her!

These type of thoughts are normal and most of us think them. I used to have a severe anxiety disorders due to them but now I accept them they are normal floating thoughts, I don't try and push them away, or neutralise and figure them out. I just accept the content and forget them. It does take practice but it can be done. Anxiety is a heightened reaction to imagination or a situation. If you can practice changing your fear of death to accepting that ok we all did one day, eventually you will move on from it

It’s not strange at all, it’s perfectly normal, especially after having a baby. Everyone at some point has intrusive thoughts, it’s only a “problem” if you dwell on it.

I have ocd and anxiety, and have pnd. I had cbt for my ocd which was diagnosed after I finally sought help after a loved one died out of the blue, which included how to cope with intrusive thoughts, so when I had them after the birth of my DTs, I was able to acknowledge them as just a thought, and get past them. I’m on ads, which have got rid of the vast majority of my anxiety, and I’m feeling better than I have in years.

It could be worth speaking to your dr or hv, to try to get additional help, and possibly (if it’s appropriate) an increased dose of your antidepressants. Mine was increased 3 times before I finally found the magic amount!

Hang on in there, and well done for seeking help - I didn’t for months and really regret it now. 💐