Post-Natal depression

[JessH1388]

Hey everyone, I had my baby on the 20th December, it was an emergency section but after my baby was born I felt really good and was up and about in a couple of hours after I got the feeling back in my legs! I got discharged the next day!
A couple of days after my ds was born I started to feel a little teary which I know is completely normal but it's coming up to two weeks now and I'm still crying every day over stupid things and feel quite down, during my pregnancy I went through a really rough time with my OH, found out he was messaging other women twice and then a month ago I found out that he'd slept with his ex when I was pregnant with our first baby which was back in 2016 just 10 days before she was born, we argued pretty much through the whole of the pregnancy with DS but I forgave him and we moved on.
Since DS was born I feel like I've completely lost my trust in my OH and feel worse about him talking to other women and sleeping with his ex then I did about it before, I'm crying constantly, i don't feel like I want to be near him and feel like I want to leave, to make things worse my c section scar has been infected for a week and I'm in a lot of discomfort, on my second lot of antibiotics, I feel frustrated as I can't really do much with my little girl either!
I don't know if how I'm feeling is completely normal even after a couple of weeks or if it's best to get some kind of help now whilst it's still early, it's not something I want to talk to my health visitor about as my OH stays at home for the visits and I don't want him to know how I'm feeling either so who would I go to? Thank you

Firstly congratulations on the birth of your baby. Secondly, I think after all you’ve been through it’s completely normal to feel like this, you’ve been through so much both physically and mentally. I do think it’s worth getting some help from an expert though. Are you able to phone/email your health visitor so you can let them know how you’re feeling without your partner finding out? There was a number for a helpline in my red book that I rang a couple of times, could you do the same? Sending hugs 🤗

Thank you, I just don't know weather if id feel more comfortable talking to an actual doctor rather than the health visitor, when she came over before the birth of my baby I didn't really find her that easy to talk to.
I don't want my partner to know and I don't want her questioning that, I always keep things like this bottled up because I don't like people asking if I'm okay all the time as it just makes me feel worse as silly as it sounds, so I'd rather just be put on some kind of tablets to lift my mood and then Have nobody bothering me about it!
It's hard to know weather I'm just feeling the way I am because my hormones are all over the place and I'm fed up that I can't get about as easy as I did before or weather it's the start of something, it was a really tough pregnancy but I decided to forgive my partner and we worked on things and moved forward, it's just now I've had my little boy I just feel so much hatred and anger towards my partner and all I do is cry because I feel like he hurt me so much!
Even though he is actually being really lovely and helpful, I just don't want to be near him!
Thank you for your reply by the way!

Please do talk to your doctor, you've had a lot to contend with which, combined with post natal hormone changes, is making you feel so demoralised and depressed.

Help will be available. I hope someone or something kicks your old man into touch and makes him grow up!

Congratulations on your new baby.

Thank you. I'm going to get an appointment booked in with the doctor and hopefully I'll get some kind of help without having to talk through things with anyone, I've actually felt pretty down for a long time even before my pregnancy so I think the hormone changes after having my little boy has just made things ten times worse! I just don't want to have to talk to someone I don't know and don't particularly like about my problems and I actually get on with my doctor a lot more x