Postnatal support

[secondbaby2]

Hi all,
I’m really looking forward to meeting my second baby.
I’ve posted before about how to manage visitors so this might seem a bit of an odd post.
I have a really lovely group of friends and I am the first in this group to have babies. I must say that in the first two weeks or so with my first baby they were really lovely and really helped out by bringing dinners over and looking after baby while I had a nap.
After the first two or so weeks though they all seemed to just disappear.
I knew they had their own lives to get on with so I understand but I felt really lonely after this and felt I couldn’t ask them for help anymore.
I’m a bit nervous because soon I’ll have two children to juggle. My first is only 2 years old. Did anyone else feel that there was a big rush to help in the first two or so weeks but then everybody seemed to disappear?

Congrats, i would always help friends when I can. But you seem to come across like you expect help for having a second child. It’s your decision and why should you expect help?

Like I said on your other post- your expectations of your friends and totally unrealistic and they are not obligated to help you.

I like to think people and friends in particular support each other. I know I’ve been there for them at various times and not just for a week or two. If you read my post properly I actually said I know they had their own lives to get on with. I was simply wondering if other people had the same experience.

Well yes of course they have had the same experience- most people's friends are not on hand to help raise their children 😂

What a load of bullies. I thought this was a forum to be honest and share your feelings not to be berated and laughed at.

I'm not bullyinh you at all! What a ridiculous thing to say. I'm merely incredulous at your attitude. I think if you stop expecting help from others you'll be less disappointed and your friendships will be better for it, if friends don't sense your expecting meals cooked and baby's looked after etc.

Honestly, I have 3 under 3 and an older child, its really not that hard, you'll be fine.

If you have people in your life that can offer support then that's fab and I have always tried to be really clear on what support is the most helpful for me. People who want to help generally want to actually be supportive so they don't mind if you're clear on what you need. However, no one is obligated to help and there will be an initial rush and then a decrease.

I have friends who have dealt with this by asking their partner to take a week off a couple of months after baby is due rather than having 2 weeks PL and then AL (If they choose to add this on) straight away. Others have found it helpful to pop the older one in nursery for a couple of mornings a week or see if the GPs can take them out occasionally.

I spent the months leading up to DDs birth stocking up the house with anything baby would need for the first 6 months and enough food/household stuff to last 1 month. That allowed a bit of breathing space.

Thanks so much. All good ideas for me to work with. Thanks again

Also get yourself Amazon prime. It's about £8 a month and I found it invaluable. Running low on nappies - not a problem, order a load and they appeared in the porch the next day! It was the same for extra muslins, bedding, particular types of bottles etc. It was probably the best £8 I've ever spent.

Fantastic. Thank you.