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Postnatal health

How do you get negative thoughts out of your head?

6 replies

GoneToTheMovies · 21/12/2018 00:31

I've spoken to my HV and identified I've got some anxiety/depression. Some back ground: my lg is 4 months and I didn't have the easiest birth. We're away from family and moved to a new area just before the birth.

I have trouble sleeping at the moment. I really worry about other peoples thoughts about how I'm feeding, parenting, family politics. For example, my sis in law made me aware this week that their family were disappointed with the way we annouced the birth. I was so out of it post birth (and also paranoid that I'd get ppl turning up at the hospital/home) that we didn't send a msg to relatives until 2 days after the birth. My parents in law were abroad at the time (big time difference) so we thought that was the fairest way to get the msg out. Now I feel awful about it and can't get it out of my head.

just writing this post helps I think but i just wondered how others cope? I've tried 'talking therapy' in the past when I've been down but found it didn't really help

TIA xx

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Shoebedoo · 21/12/2018 00:54

Mental chatter must be Head wrecking ... my son experienced this .. his dad has OCD... I got drops in the health store that helped plus a few sessions of CBT cognitive behaviour therapy!
White Chestnut is the Bach Flower Remedy for insomnia, unwanted thoughts, worries and mental arguments, which intrude into the mind and stop people from concentrating on things that they should be doing.

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MilkyCuppa · 21/12/2018 01:04

Imo it’s about self esteem. You’re so worried about what other people think... screw them, put yourself first. I couldn’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. I do what I want and everyone else can f* off with their opinions. It took me a long time to reach that point though. It’s hard to stop being a people pleaser but so liberating!

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GoneToTheMovies · 21/12/2018 09:36

it really is the people pleaser thing. i do one 'selfish' act and then feel bad about it for so long once I've realised I've put noses out of joint. feel like i can't win with my thoughts.

did you just tell yourself one day 'ok I'm just doing my own thing, f* them all' ? or was it more gradual?! i think it needs to be my new years resolution 😊

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GoneToTheMovies · 21/12/2018 09:40

thanks, i hadn't heard of that before but
it sounds good.

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MilkyCuppa · 21/12/2018 12:14

I think I just got tired of putting myself out trying to please others who still treated me like crap anyway. I realised that everyone else looks after number one and I’m at a disadvantage if I don’t do the same. Nowadays I’m very selective about who I make an effort for - I only care about those who have shown they care about me.

Don’t always assume that other people are right. So your in-laws are upset about how you announced the birth? That doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong. Maybe they’re the ones who are being unreasonable and ridiculous, and what you’ve done is actually quite fair and reasonable?

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GoneToTheMovies · 21/12/2018 12:50

you're right and in my heart I know that the way we did it was the best for the three of us. Otherwise i feel that their family would have still wanted to see baby asap before I was ready and my husband would have been on the phone to relatives none stop instead of bonding with baby.

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