Feeling really sorry for my baby

[Emeraldbridge]

I just want to know if this is normal - I have a 5 month old baby and I feel desperately sorry for him having me as a mother. This is completely irrational as the logical side of me knows I’m a good mum and I have no idea why I have these horrible guilty feelings. Has anybody else experienced something like this?

Please elaborate on guilty feelings? X

I don’t mean to drip feed, I find it really difficult to explain the guilt or where it even comes from. It’s not a constant feeling but the last time it happened was today - I had sat down for a cup of tea whilst he was on his play gym and I just felt extremely selfish like I should be taking him for a walk or to another baby group etc. This sounds really silly when I write it down.

I think it's mum guilt and I still get it with my three year old now, it's part of being a mum I think as many of my friends also say they have the same feelings. You can't explain where they come from you just look at them sometimes and think maybe I am shit at this.

When my LO is in bed at night I get it as I remember if I may have told her off that day and just get the awful wave of guilt.

Just wanted to say you aren't alone xx

I’m exactly the same custardcream, so you’re definitely not alone OP.
My DS has just turned 12 months. But I would say the guilty feelings had a different quality to them for the first few months. Which for me personally I think was because I had a pretty traumatic birth. Could this be the case for you OP?
Sorry you’re going through having these feelings; it’s so hard

I’m the same as you Millie, in that the guilt I felt earlier on was different - not a traumatic birth but definitely not what I wanted (I was quite naive there) and we needed to stay in hospital for a week. You’ve hit the nail on the head there custardcream with ‘maybe I’m shit at this’, I’ve thought that too. Then I feel bad for feeling guilty when I know I’m so lucky to have such a lovely baby! Anyway, just knowing that other people understand what I’m feeling and that’s it’s ‘normal’ really helps. Thank you.

Yes so hard when the birth doesn’t go as expected :-(
I think it’s rare that any mum doesn’t feel a version of what you’re describing - and if they say they don’t i’m not sure how honest they’re being! That said, I have noticed a difference for mums who have had a second/third/forth child- perhaps you kind of grow in confidence as you realise you’re not doing such bad job or something...!
Someone said to me not to feel bad about the guilty feelings (guilt about guilt, arg!) as it just shows you care about your baby and want to do what’s best for them. I can guarantee you that the fact you’re thinking in this way means that you’re most probably doing a fab job :-)

Ah thanks Millie, you’ve made a random fellow mummy on the internet feel much better 😀. I’ve decided to accept the guilty feelings rather than try to fight them or bottle things up. Can you tell I’m a first time mum?! It’s good to know you’ve noticed a difference in mums with 2/3/4 children as I’d definitely like another.