Crying baby....

[Hopehope20]

Hi,

I had my gorgeous boy 5 weeks ago. Very challenging start with his feeding, my milk was delayed and when it did arrive there wasn't much of it. I have been working so hard trying to increase it and have done...but still I do not produce enough to fulfil him. He lost so much weight we had to go to hospital and so we have been combined feeding with formula since and his weight gain is slow...but getting there.

He does suffer with wind and we are using infacol to see if that helps.

I feel so sad because he cries a lot and the last 3 days he has cried all the time...if he is not feeding or sleeping he is crying and I am very close to losing it. I feel like he is sad and doesn't like me...nothing I do comforts him and I get so upset. I go through all the things...nappy, feed, cuddles...and still he cries. I dread being with him all day whilst my partner is at work and I am starting to feel very scared of how low my mood is getting.

He is otherwise healthy....so has anyone here also had a baby that cries a lot? How did you cope? I have stoped seeing friends or going places because I find it so traumatic with his crying...especially hanging out with my mummy friends as their babies are just alert and chilled and I end up feeling so inadequate.

Feel like a complete failure already given that I can't soley breast feed and this is making it so much worse.

Help!

If he is not being physically sick I would go down the lines is silent reflux.

It's like when we get an acid attack, because their eusophagus isn't fully developed it lets the acid come back up but they are not sick hence the silent bit but it's uncomortable and baby will just cry.

Try and get to doc tomorrow and ask for infant gaviscon . It's a Powder you can either mix in with formula or just water. Mine was ebf so I would mix in water in a bottle. Worked wonders. Infacol did nothing and would make it worse as it was orange flavour based .

If he is struggling to wind there are lots of things you can try, cycling the legs, pushing knees to the tummy, the tiger hold (look it up) to help him push the air out. I would also pay my dd bottom to remind her to bottom burp.

Ps. You are not inadequate.. all babies are different and we just need to find their way..you will have many challenges none of which make you a failure, you are doing the best for your baby and asking does not make you a bad person. We have all been there!

Hi @Hopehope20,
I felt very much the same as you, as my son cried so much at around 8 -11 weeks. I vividly remember him screaming the doctors surgery down and me balling my eyes out as my nerves were so wrecked. I agree it sounds very much like silent reflux, and you can get infant gaviscon prescribed to help.
In my case my milk seemed to stabilise at 11 weeks and things clicked- he calmed down, and we managed to go from combo feeding to ebf for about 3 months, so don't feel that ship has sailed- some women's milk just takes longer to reach full production.
More importantly, what support do you have around you? Is there anyone who can look after your baby for an hour or two so you can do something nice and restorative? I went to stay at my dads for a couple of days at my son's peak crying stage, so he could cry at someone else for a while whilst I slept out of earshot. I also really dreaded being around my son, which made me feel terribly low in itself. It is so very hard on the nerves being screamed at so much, but you are doing an excellent job. It does get better.

I would also mention how you are feeling to the GP too. There is absolutely no shame in the feelings you're having- some babies are more demanding than others (although this can switch around very quickly as they grow - cranky babies can become calm toddlers so don't despair!).
There are groups specifically for mums that are finding this period challenging, and knowing you aren't the only one can be reassuring, and can help restore your confidence. Take a deep breath- you're everything your baby needs and more.

Hopehope20 hi... I've no help but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
I have a 4 week old dd who seems to cry and cry and cry. Just as you stated yourself I'm forever changing her, feeding her, burping and cuddling her and nothing seems to stop her crying her heart out. I have a 1 year old ds and he was a dream baby. Dd on the other hand is really fussy. She also refuses to sleep on her back. She goes crazy everytime I put her down unless she lies chest to chest on me or on her belly which I hate doing due to increased risk of sids. I'm at my wits ends and feel extremely down. She won't sleep at night either so it's then difficult for me during the day with my son because I'm completely sleep deprived. Dh doesn't do anything to help at night either which is really upsetting me

This will pass. It will not be like this forever.

My ds was like this for a while; unless I was holding him and bouncing on a yoga ball he'd cry, the second I sat on the ball he'd stop. I couldn't do anything!

Do you have a sling? That was his other happy place. In the sling and just walking around anywhere/everywhere.

Have a look on the parenting board, there's a thread on there for parents of crying babies. It's helpful to read other people's experiences with this. It could be silent reflux, my son's started at about 2 weeks and he went from a lovely chilled out baby to one that screamed constantly. He's nearly 12 weeks now and on medication and is much better but we still have our bad days.

Hi OP, I can completely relate to this. My fourth child is now 15 months old and he was my most challenging baby. He was such ( and still is though not as much) a crier. He lost weight in the early days and struggled to feed. He was on formula through choice but I really don't think I could have breastfed him had I wanted to.
I couldn't go anywhere, even sitting in a coffee shop, he would scream the place down, refuse bottle, then after he had taken it he would projectile vomit the whole thing. He had reflux and suffered with wind all the time.

If he's struggling with feeding and weight gain, I would introduce shorter feeds but more regularly.
It will get better and remember this isn't a permanent thing. Go to the doctors and take their advice but keep in mind that all this will pass x