Advice please :(

[proudmum4]

Hey, I don't know where to start but here goes....
I have had 2 beautiful babies in the space of a year I love them dearly.
I was diognosed with post natal depression in the summer and I have to say it's been absolutely awful.
Up and down bad moods,crying over everything feeling hopeless anxious every horrible feeling !
I have a partner and he's been supportive but now saying I don't show him love and haven't since I was pregnant. I have shown him love and in ither ways but also a lot has happened in this year along side all of this ..
He's loving kind and an amazing dad but I can't help my low moods and when the children are in bed I either fall asleep myself or I'm just exhausted and drained I have had someone climbing up me all day and I need some personal space if that makes sense ? My sex drive has gone completely.
we argue a lot and it's breaking my heart this horrible illness is ruining my relationship my family and I don't know what to do :(
I love my partner more than anything but I'm struggling to show it affection and anything really :( please any advice is needed as I think this is going to break us xx

Xxx

He’s being selfish adding more pressure
Your priorities should be yourself and your babies and he should be facilitating you being able to have the least amount of stress possible.

He may very well be stressed too but he needs to support you not further crush you with more guilt
Do you have couples counselling ?
I’m sorry you are feeling so bad xx

This is why I'm in such s bad way as the pressure of our relationship is now on me too, I see a Councillor myself but he doesn't yes he's stressed but he seems to think I'm like this because I don't love him and I do it's fuckin hard work all this xx thanks for your reply

I understand. You’re trying your best just to get through each day desperate to have someone just get home and take the kids off you and then you just end up with someone else putting more demands on you 😔
I know what you mean about needing space too. It’s too much sometimes holding a baby all day and your arms hurt and you can’t sit down or get anything done.
The first year is the worst how old is your youngest ? After they turn 1 it gets easier day by day

I’m guilty of putting CBeebies on, little ones in the high chair with a tray of coco pops and rice crispies or similar and I sit behind on the sofa to have a cup of coffee in peace. If the baby is busy eating and can’t see me he won’t cry and I get a rest for 10 mins may be worth a try ?

How old are your DC? It's such hard work looking after two close together in age. The early years are so so tough. I hope it works out well for you both, for the first couple of years it's like you're a parenting team, not a couple per se. If the relationship survives this you will come out the other side a stronger couple (I keep telling myself anyway). Well done for looking after two little babies. 🌼

They are 1 years old and 4 months old and it's tearing il tell you !
He does come home tbf and helps clean and bath and put them to bed but it's our relationship that's not the same and I can't explain to him how I'm feeling or why I'm feeling the way i am when I can't understand myself he's not taking to me now and I've spent a lot of day upset not only feeling the way I am but with us too I just wish I could feel me again Xx