Post natal depression or just a really bad mother

[AshBluex]

My newborn is 2 weeks old today and I couldn't be dealing with things more negativley if I tried.

I love him to pieces and wouldn't change him for the world, but the way i am feeling is awful. When he cries in the night, I'm so exhausted and fed up I don't want to get up to see to him - obviousley I do i would never just leave him but the fact I feel so fed up makes me feel so guilty. I actually feel annoyed which is ridiculous because I know he needs me and I love looking after him.

I am absolutely drained already and dread a night time from the minute i get up of a morning. I frequently feel like I just can't do this and as if i shouldn't be a mum. I love my little boy so much I feel awful not being in a happy baby bubble with him.

I try to nap through the day, but feel like I am being a bad mum by leaving him with my partner to deal with. When he cries, I panic and don't know what to do. I heavily rely on my partner and the thought of him going back to work makes me feel hopeless.

I cry numerous times a day due to feeling guilty for not enjoying the lovely early stages of my babies life. My partner is amazing with him and it makes me feel even worse as I can't seem to get the hang of it at all

Am i suffering from post natal depression or am i just REALLY awful mum?

This is quite normal at 2 weeks in. It's bloody tough, your hormones are all over the place. I think it's too early to say if it's PND but you definitely are struggling. Speak to your HV or GP ASAP it's really important to stay in touch with health services so you can access support quickly if you need it.

Do you have any friends that have had children? Talk to people it really helps xxx  for you xxx

You’re not a bad mum. I have a baby who is coming up to 3 weeks old - I’m not sure the early days of a baby’s life are lovely for their mums?! I think this time is especially hard as the excitement of having a new baby and all the adrenaline has worn off, your partner goes back to work, and you’re left facing the reality of more and more relentless sleep deprivation, feeding, nappy changes etc. This is second time round for me and so easier psychologically as I know it’s only temporary and it does get easier. So please don’t think you’re alone feeling this way but do speak to your HV or GP. This too shall pass!

You are NOT a bad mother. For you to even read so much into it to the point where you are doubting yourself shows what a wonderful mum you are to your baby. You care about him so much and want to get it all right. I know it's hard but please try not to be so hard on yourself. This is about BOTH of you adapting to your new life together. It's bloody hard I still remember it like it was yesterday and my boy is 17 months old. Accept as much help as you can, tell your health visitor/GP everything you have written on here and give yourself lots of love - whether that be lots of food (which is what I did!), guided meditation, long hot bath while dad takes baby for half an hour each night, podcasts on your phone earplugs in whilst you're out walking the pram, baby in sling, the list is endless. Any little things that you know will boost your mood do them. It does get easier I promise you, I found the first three months of my son's life the hardest time ever of mine, it's sad but its true and I wouldn't change a second of it either. X

I found the first three months of my son's life the hardest time ever of mine, it's sad but its true

Oh yes, this was absolutely the case for me too.

OP I'd definitely talk to the HV/GP about whether you might have postnatal depression. And keep talking to them until things get better (don't get fobbed off on the grounds of "baby blues" if you think it might be more than that.)

It does get much much easier. Congratulations and massive hugs