Don't want to leave midwife care

[sparkles212]

I gave birth to my baby a week ago and we've had lots of extra visits from midwife to do jaundice level testing as my baby is borderline on the treatment level. I've also had extra breastfeeding help which has been invaluable. Every single midwife I've seen since I got pregnant has been amazing and so caring. When one of the midwives comes even to do an extra visit for jaundice level check she still does all the other regular checks and asks questions, sees how I'm doing etc. I really dont want it to end I almost feel like I am grieving for when the time comes that I'll be discharged.

A part of me wishes I was pregnant again, even though I don't want any more kids, or that baby's jaundice level is on the treatment level so that we'll be admitted to hospital for a few days just so I can be around the midwives. Obviously that's crazy as I love my baby and I dont want her to be poorly in any way and my rationale knows it's because I'm just overwhelmed by the responsibility of a new baby.

I feel so teary that I can't bring it up with the midwife or I'll cry. Is this a normal feeling to have? I feel ridiculous but I can't help it.

Be brave and tell the health visitor everything. You can request extra visits but it works best if you are very open with them right from the start. Mine kept a close eye on me from the outset because she knew I was suffering from crippling PND after my daughter was born. At nine months she probably saved my life by dropping everything to come to me after ringing her up in buckets of tears because I was beginning to plan how to end it all. DD is now nearly two and I've a little boy at four months. I'm still having regular support from community mental health to help me stay well and that is solely because she cared enough about me to help me access the people I needed. I've got a different health visitor now but I think about her every day. You'll be fine. Health visitors are absolutely amazing and if it's not working for you, ask to see someone different. I'm so glad you had a good midwifery experience. Neither of mine were good and it's the primary reason no more babies for us.

I felt like this too! Part of it was because I had such a good relationship with my midwife and part of it was being scared of moving on and being responsible for baby! My HV was nice but she want my midwife! The feeling passed though, I think it’s just because it signifies the end of that part of your life. The pregnancy part. But the next bit is the best!

Thank you for your replies. I will make sure I talk about my worries to my HV or MW. I know that what I'm feeling right now with my emotions is the baby blues and I'm hoping that once baby knows the difference between night and day and sleeps at night, if only for an hour, then things should start to improve. I'm aware of how easily it could turn into pnd if suppresed though so I will sort this now. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps to see I'm not the only one with fears like this!

With my first we were kept on with the midwives after the initial 10 days, because feeding wasn't going well, so it does happen and if there are ongoing difficulties then they may not discharge you.

I understand why you feel like this. Midwives are a real safety blanket and are there to help you and your baby at a time when you are at your most vulnerable. It's important you tell them how you feel and the health visitor will give you support. With my second I had feeding problems again and they were terrific. I had one come and visit me at home weekly to help me feed.

Ask as many questions as you can think of now and try and trust that there is also help in other places. Not only the midwives but in the form of the internet (MN included), groups, baby cafes and much more. You don't need the midwives for long, although it can really feel like it at the time.

@mavericksnoopy thank you for your reply. I definitely agree with the safety blanket sentiment. Apart from my DP I don't really have any other support from family, my mum passed away 3 years ago and we were very close. I'm some way I think I'm finding some comfort from the midwives that I miss from my mum - i.e. someone who knows what they're doing! I know that must sound pathetic at 31 years old.

I told my midwife today how I felt. She assured me the HV would be there to support me. She seemed more concerned with me getting more sleep x

@sparkles212

Wow I felt exactly the same! The feeling began to pass after about a month of not seeing my midwife and I got to know my health visitor who I saw weekly for 8weeks DD is now 4 months so we pop into the clinic every fortnight for a weigh in and a catch up and most of the time I bump into my midwife which is absolutely lovely 😊