Walked out (again) nowhere to go.

[daughterofanarchy]

Had enough today.
Dd(nearly five) has been badly behaved since DD2 arrived six months ago. Will keep it short she was jealous of her new sister as kids are sometimes, and told the school I had smacked her (not true at all) school obviously followed safeguarding etc and were satisfied that nothing untoward had happened.
Anyway, since then I’m afraid to discipline her at all for fear of what she could say about me. So her behaviour has just got worse and worse. This evening she kicked off about bedtime saying I had ruin d her day by not letting her have longer to play in the evening. I struggle massively with PND as well and So today I felt I had no choice but to walk out. Left kids with DH. I have done this once before.
Some days I feel like I could die than live like this, (other issues with husband too)
I would not go through with it (although few years ago I was in a bad place and contemplated it) I just feel so frustrated with my life.
I’m sitting in the car in a pretty village with nowhere to go. I know I need to return home but I can’t seem to move.

Oh hun, how awfull for you! The only advice I can give u is to go home, have a hot bath and go to bed early, tomorrow is another day. Maybe think about speaking to your HV about how you feel and maybe she can give you some advice to help you deal with your eldest!

What support are you getting with your PND?

Does the school offer any support through a family support worker who could support you with some behaviour strategies?

It sounds like you're having a really tough time.

Is there anywhere you could stay overnight, just for tonight? Parents? Family? Just to get a break, as you sound like you're at the end of your tether. Then tomorrow's another day. Something must be done about your dd's behaviour (not sure how you deal with it though). She's quite manipulative for a 5 yo.

Come on, she’s 5! What are you going to be like when she’s 10 or 15?

Get 1,2,3 Magic or similar parenting book and use some of the strategies from it. Show her you’re the adult and you’re in charge.

@eelbecomingforyou how utterly unsupportive. The OP is vulnerable and having a totally rubbish day.

OP - today is hard. I'm sorry you're dealing with PND on top of your eldest getting used to being a sibling. It can be a rocky road, I've been there but it will get better. I can see why you would be anxious about what she tells school but what you mustn't do is let that affect how you parent her particularly in the way you show her what's right and wrong. It's important for you to be firm and consistent with boundaries but I'm certain you know this - it's just tough trying to implement it when you're feeling so wrung out. Let school know you're having a tricky time with PND and with your eldest at home, and let your HV know too as they might be able to support you in ways you've not thought of yet.

Keep on keeping on. It will get easier.

How are you doing today OP?

Hello Wagon, and all the others who responded to my thread. I’m sorry I didn’t respond, I went home and did the usual mummy duties and cleaning then had a shower and went to bed.
In the light of a new day I felt a lot calmer this morning. Trying to get an appointment to see the GP as I have only recently restarted my anti depressants and I don’t feel they are making a difference.
Thanks for checking in on me Wagon.

You are doing a brilliant job. Have confidence that this will all get sorted and you will feel in a better place soon x

Today is another day. You are a brilliant mum and wife. Try to be kind to yourself - and accept you can't be everything to everyone and do everything all the time.

My daughter is also a nightmare since DS has come along (DD is nearly 4, DS 4months). It is SO hard controlling DD behaviour. Sometimes she is amazing, other times just awful. She used to be the nicest little girl and I miss her personality pre-baby no.2. I also personally hate being on Mat leave. I try and just get through 30mins at a time. Every 30mins mix up the activities and don't try to look further ahead. Hope everything is OK today.

I have a little support from Husband but most is down to me. Keep your chin up OP xx Good luck with the GP. Xx

Thank you Wagon, and Braay, your understanding and compassion are truly welcomed x

Did you get hold of the GP today?

Sorry to hear you've been having a tough time.
In terms of the older DD, I would suggest showering her with love BUT when she is misbehaving, be a bit tougher and call her bluff.
When I was a kid (I think i I was 6), there were so many adverts about childline. When I couldn't get my own way, I threatened to call childline. My mum took me to the phone and said 'Go ahead if that's what you want. But you will be taken away from home and not have your toys and bedroom or anything nice.' That shut me up and I never threatened to call again.
Tell her the reality of what could happen if she makes up lies.