How did you overcome your PND?

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I'm 16 weeks pp and have raging PND. It has been brewing for a long time as I had a horrific pregnancy (hyperemesis) that means my usual supply of mental resilience is wiped out. Baby rarely sleeps and is EBF (although I'm willing to change to formula if needed)

I confided in my GP about 4 weeks ago. It takes a lot for me to ask for help, so when I do admit there's a problem then I'm really asking for help RIGHT NOW, not in a few weeks.

I asked for a referral to a local support group I'd round. I thought I needed a GP referral. GP looked it up, said I could self refer and that it would be quicker for me to do it. It took me another 2 weeks, then they weren't very helpful.

I'm tempted to try an anti depressant but I've tried ALL of them in the past and none agreed. Maybe they would now? Anyone any experience of this?

I've good support in RL thankfully otherwise I'd have probably killed myself by now. I don't say that lightly.

I've tried CBT in the past and have been using some of the techniques. These have really helped.

I'm also getting out of the house every day and meeting up with people for coffee/a walk etc. This helps a lot too.

Also exercise, which is good.

Is this enough? I want to get better.

How did you manage it? How long did it take to get back to "normal"?

Running. It made me better in a matter of weeks.

God it's shit isn't it.
In my case- psychotherapy helped with the first episode. Got a HV referral.
I broadly avoided it with DC2 with self care- exercise, cleaner, social contact, putting less stress on myself with groups etc. So it sounds to me like you are doing the right things, especially getting sunlight every day.
Also bf went better (just chance to do with a baby who was good at it) which helped but was luck. If you have cracked ebf 16 weeks in, I would keep it up and spend the money you save on cheering things. If it
is making you weep every time you bf, then time to take the pressure off yourself. So can work either way! but beware of another crazy hormone shift if you drop.
You need sleep though. People go nuts without sleep. How much are you getting and can you get more if someone else does a nightfeed or at least a night settle? Do you have a supportive DP?

I went straight on to anti depressants when I first saw the GP when my daughter was 4 weeks old. I had good times and bad times and I was particularly bad after my periods returned so a new GP put me on the pill.

I had been on it for about six months and felt much more on a level. I had regular bleeding. Then one morning I woke up and thought "I'm pregnant!" I did a test and sure enough I was. I felt totally different. The anxiety and the hopelessness had just vanished.

It did seem that in my case the depression was heavily influenced by my hormones. My pregnancy was blissful from start to finish. And the depression didn't return with subsequent children either.

Drugs

Prescription

Thank you! These are really helpful!

Domestic Sleep is a MAJOR issue. Baby wakes every hour or two during the night and barely naps in the day. I've stopped dreaming as I don't reach REM sleep. DH is very supportive and we've agreed he'll use the stash of breast milk in the freezer one night so I can sleep elsewhere and try and get a decent nights kip. I'm not gonna flog a dead horse by expressing anymore tho so may switch to formula in the night if it helps, even if it means my supply goes.

Endeavour I hate running but I might give it a try just to get some me time...

May I urge you to make that "one night" of decent kip happen very soon. That is great that DH is supportive and you have some milk expressed- does baby take a bottle?
You simply cannot expect good mental health if you continue to get sleep only in 1 or 2 hour snatches, that would destroy anyone. Sleep deprivation is a torture technique! If you can humanly get some solid 4 or 6 hour blocks, even twice a week, that will help, I reckon.
Also try to lie down if baby ever sleeps in the day.
This will pass. But it is bloody difficult.

Fluoxetine. Anti depressants had never helped me in the past either but were a godsend with PND. I'm a different person.

peach thank you, I needed to hear that. I'm tempted to try sertraline, but then I worry that drugs aren't going to help the baby sleep so maybe they're not the answer.

I've been up since 4am and DH isn't home from work until 9pm. Looooong day. Baby not even napping. Have rung the HV for advice and arranged an after school play date for older DC. Hopefully both will help.

I thought the baby sleeping or not sleeping was the issue too but now I'm feeling so much better I can cope when she doesn't sleep and don't panic about it. I would never push anyone into medication as it's a very personal decision but it absolutely saved my life despite my own reluctance to try it.

This is what helped me:

Telling my closest friends and family and allowing myself to talk about it.

Counselling.

A support group.

Sleep was a huge part of it so getting DH to do as many nights as he could. Also my mum or MIL would sometimes help out so I could nap in the afternoon.

Whoops posted too soon...

Time. Hang in there, trust, time will ease it, day by day.

Distracting myself from negative thoughts.

Crying when I needed to.

Eating well, taking loads of vitamins.

Exercise, stretching, meditation of any kind.

Self care and having someone step in sometimes so I could: have a bath, get a hair cut, do my nails - anything that felt like I was being kind to myself.

I didn’t get to do enough of any of those things, really, because, life - but every little helps and it all helps you negotiate things day by day.

Something to look forwards to is good. Anything really - going out for tea with friends, planning a holiday or weekend away, day dreaming about positive stuff - anything to lift your mood in the present moment.

Good luck. It’s shit, but it passes

Lack of sleep used to be used as a torture method - that just says it all I think .

Make sure your DH is helping as much as possible. You need sleep! It’s amazing how much better you feel after a good nights sleep.

Make sure you get out of the house each day. I would always feel worse if I had a long day stuck in the house with the baby. Even going for a long walk can really help with your mental health. Chatting to friends, going for a coffee, wondering around the shops.. anything to keep yourself busy.

If you feel that you need to look into antidepressants, do it. I ended up on sertraline for around a year which did help.

Do you have anyone who could watch the baby for a few hours? That did me the world of good. Even going for dinner with my OH once in a blue moon made me feel a bit more “me” again.

And remember they all sleep through eventually. It won’t always be like this

Things that have helped me:

Knowing which dates a friend or relative was coming to visit - helped me know I would be getting support soon if stuck in the middle of a bad night/day by myself with baby. If somebody cancelled I very quickly felt the PND intensifying.

Having mother and mother in law come to stay a night or two in very early stages and looking after baby meant I got a proper sleep. Made sure I went to bed early so I could get a good 12 hours in. Sleep is the major factor for me and I feel much worse if i don’t get enough.

I agree with going out everyday too. It took me a while to gain the confidence to do it though but now I’m happy to go almost anywhere- even on public transport

Keeping my iron levels up.

But most importantly for me having medication has made the world of difference but I know this is not for everyone. At six months it’s a lot easier now though as I have more of a routine, baby occupies herself a lot and sleeps through most nights - although teething is rearing it’s ugly head at the moment.

Oh and stepping out of the house for a walk when partner is home to look after the baby helped me immensely when I felt really on edge. Time alone in fresh air felt good to me.

Self care & time. Time has been the biggest healer for me and I had it pretty bad from the get go. You WILL get better and the PND WILL go away x

I started running and dieting to lose the weight I had gained while pregnant. This gave me something to focus on, but in a healthy way. Ultimately, returning to work gave me my life back, as I felt like I had lost all trace of me.