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Postnatal health

I have PND here's why but what should I do?

1 reply

Supermum11 · 16/09/2018 09:22

I had my first baby 4 months ago but I've been feeling really depressed and here's why

My Husband: I feel like he's not really interested and doesn't really love our baby and this is why two days after our DD was born he went into work even though he was on paternity leave so shouldn't have been going to work and the first night I came home I ended up sleeping on the sofa with the newborn baby because he was so annoyed about the baby crying he felt angry because I chose to come home rather than stay in hospital I had been through a traumatic childbirth and was bleeding heavily with no bladder control but I wanted to be at home and also he went to band practice when the baby wasn't even a month old it's not important he goes there as they sent serious about the music and he was gone for 5 hours he never wants to hold our dd and makes a fuss if he has to hold or look after her for half an hour (while I tidy up or cook) he then makes out he's been looking after her for ages so therefore shouldn't have to anymore he would rather do anything than look after her or spend time with her and he's always saying that "your the one who wanted a baby" which isn't true it was a joint decision together to have a baby and it makes me feel like he doesn't want her and love her.

My family:
Ok so my mum and sister get me down and here's why: I don't live far from my mum but I hardly ever see her she occasionally comes round but never helps me out like how she helped my sister if she had her daughter she is constantly trying to insult me and my dd I don't mind her insulting me I'm used to it she's done that for longer than I can remember but when she insults my baby it hurts she keeps saying how big my baby is for her age which isn't true and
here's why my sister gets at me: we don't get on we never have but she is pregnant and her baby is due in 2 months when my baby will be 6 months old so she will have a newborn and my baby will be a lot older and bigger and no one will be interested in her anymore she's deliberately got pregnant as soon as I announced my pregnancy last year so she could take the limelight from me and my baby apparently she lost the first baby but she got pregnant soon after and everyone will be comparing her baby to mine and she will be going to all the baby groups that I go to and she will make friends with all my mummy friends and turn them against me.

Ok so that's why I feel depressed I also feel happy sometimes and incredibly lucky and blessed to have a beautiful clever baby but I also feel down quite a lot please help me

OP posts:
SassitudeandSparkle · 16/09/2018 09:31

Are you receiving treatment for your PND, OP? Can you speak to your HV?

Honestly, focus on getting yourself well and looking after your baby. Try not to use up too much energy on what your sister/mother are doing - you are catastrophising and blaming others which isn't going to make you feel any better. We all have a rant now and again but going over and over these things in your head won't help, although it can be hard to break the cycle. With your sister, it just seems to be what you think she'll do, which may not be true.

Also, a bad day doesn't mean it's a bad life. We all have them, don't place too much importance on them. Focus on the good ones.

Give your gorgeous baby a cuddle!

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