Pelvic Floor & Episiotomy

[MeadowHay]

My baby is 12 weeks and I suffered pretty badly with pain which affected my mobility from the episiotomy (had ventouse delivery too) for many weeks after birth. I don't notice it much now, but I still get feelings of mild pain/tightness/soreness if I'm constipated (sorry ) or if I sit on it for awhile in a weird position that makes the lining of my underwear dig into it or whatever. From internet searches this seems to be normal, right? DH thinks I should see the GP but I don't see the point. I got it checked around week 6 because I had some problems then when my stitches had dissolved leaving a tiny dot of an open wound which was really sore for about a week but other than that always been told it was healing fine and no signs of infection.

Also, what are people doing for PFEs? I started trying to do holding for a few secs which I built up to 5 secs (with difficulty ) and up to 10 short squeeze-releases at a time a few times a day, but then I started getting like an aching sore feeling in my pelvic floor so now I've only been doing that like once a day but I'm aware that's probs not enough so...I'm not sure what to do so that I don't overdo it but equally don't want to pack it in and have problems later down the line.

I had an episiotomy with forceps delivery and a manual removal of my placenta in theatre. Plus my son's shoulders got stuck and I haemorrhaged. I think what you're feeling is very normal but I would ask for a physio referral- I went to one specialising in women's health and it made a big difference

I have a physio appointment this week for pelvic floor issues, I will let you know if they tell me any good exercises!

I had this weird feeling after my perenium healed where it felt almost I dunno...ragged or like it was poking out and too tight. The doctor who fitted my coil suggested massaging it with oil and having sex because those things would make the skin less tight. I didn't try the oil just the sex and after about a month it was fine and has been since.

I had my physio appt today. Obviously it was specific to my issues but she told me about an NHS app call Squeezy. It sends you reminders and helps with pelvic floor. She sugggested I do 3 x 10 second holds per day and I can set that into the app to remind me and count them.

Might be worth trying to get referred by your GP for physio if you’re worried, my appt was very useful and I feel much better now a professional has actually had a proper feel of my pelvic floor and can asses where I need help and then I have a follow up appt in 6 weeks to check it’s all working.

Sorry I disappeared - I have a GP appointment next week with a GP I saw once when I had HG during pregnancy who I really liked. I'm really anxious about the possibility of needing an internal examination. I found giving birth very traumatic and I had depersonalisation and flash backs when I had a filling at the dentist a few weeks ago so I'm not sure how I'd deal with an examination. DH is going to come with me though thankfully.

I have tried doing PFEs but whenever I do them, my pelvic floor gets more sore, so I'm not sure whether to just continue or whether I shouldn't be doing them if they're making me sore?? Will ask the GP and probs ask for a physio referral. I have private health insurance through work, I need to dig up the papers in case it would mean a much faster referal.

Ma I am way too terrified to contemplate having sex or basically contact with the area at all, I dunno how to overcome it . I know DH is keen lol although totally respectful and understanding about my anxieties, but I dunno how to make myself feel less terrified, and if I feel terrified then I will tense and I'm sure then it will hurt.

I had an episiotomy with my first (very traumatic birth) and it took a very long time to heal but did eventually heal completely. Id say it was totally back to normal after a year. It was pretty comfortable after 6months but there was some tightness for a further six months.

I did have sex after only a month after the birth actually and it really wasnt that bad. Just a bit sore and it felt weird. I could feel the wound stretch slightly and it was just uncomfortable rather than actually painful if you see what I mean. Obviously did it very slowly etc
It wasnt as bad as I thought it would be.

I think the first time you have sex the wound will just be a bit sore and tight..... but it really really isnt that bad honestly. And every time it gets stretched a bit it will get better... I do think its kind of something you just have to go through.

I should mention that it took that long to heal because my stitches fell out after a few days and the wound was gaping and had to heal from the inside out....
Id imagine it would take less time to heal if your stitches stayed in tact.

I can confirm that MaAmandSheela’s suggestion of massaging with oil (and no sex for a bit if you’re not ready) also works, and it can be helpful in starting to feel like your body is a familiar friend again rather than the scene of something brutal as well - no pressure to feel aroused because that’s not what you’re aiming for, but just gently starting to take ownership of your whole body again.

I’d definitely ask for a physio referral to a specialist women’s health physio as it sounds like your muscles might be overly tense, in which case pfe’s might not be what you need. If it turns out you are ready to do them, I’d also vote for Squeezy.

I had an extended episiotomy and forceps, and 13 months on I am still seeing improvements in my muscle tone, scars, ability to feel stuff properly and confidence/emotional response to my changed body, so be reassured that recovery will happen and keep on happening. Actually satisfying sex is still an ongoing project, but it was pain free from about 6 months post partum. It helps a lot to talk honestly to your partner about how you are, and make sure he’s giving you plenty of time to heal physically and emotionally. It also really helped me going over my labour notes with the gynae (and him dropping his lovely professional manner part way through and looking at me and saying “bloody hell, you did ever so well!” like I deserve to feel proud of my resilience.). The hospital can provide this if and when you’re ready.

Take care, and be kind to yourself.

DH is amazing honestly can't praise him enough. He's everything he should be in terms of support and has cared for me physically and mentally ever since we have met (I have had various minor and moderate health problems both physical and mental since before we met). I think I would like a birth debrief but nobody actually offered me one though the HV mentioned it to me, however I would need DH with me as I don't have it in me to go alone but I think I would find it stressful to take DD with me too and I don't think we could get childcare atm so would probably need to wait until she's in nursery before I go back to work in March. It seems a long way away but it might be better to give it awhile anyway, I am also wary of having it soon and becoming even more preoccupied with the trauma than I am now.

I've seen a few people mention 'extended episiotomies' - what is that and how do I know if I've had one? I'm guessing not as my healing went well apparently apart from a minor blip of a tiny dot that didn't heal in time for the stitches to be dissolved but that was much better within a week of it happening around the 6 week mark and no infection or anything.

Also can I just thank you all for discussing your personal experiences with me, I know it is hard talking about a traumatic birth and so far I have found the post-natal healing etc really difficult, stressful and upsetting too so I imagine it may have been very tough for you all as well and I really appreciate you coming to talk to me about your experiences. I think one of things I'm struggling with is that all I have as a frame of reference is google searching and you always find the worst stories obv as people are more likely to post about things that are going really badly. I don't have any friends with children - although one of my friends is due in a few weeks, but I'm really hoping she has a much better experience than me, jeez - and family members have not discussed anything very intimate about their births/healing etc so I don't feel confident to bring it up and discuss with them. I'm pretty sure I will forcefully ask for an elective C-section next time because I definitely wouldn't consent to another assisted delivery and would rather have an elective than an emergency if it came to that and it would really help my crippling anxiety to have that arranged in advance rather than be terrified all the way through pregnancy and labour. But I think will have a good few years gap before trying again as I had HG during pregnancy and know that it's likely to reoccur so I wouldn't be able to look after DD like that so need to wait until she's at least a bit more independent and stuff or maybe even school age.

Your plans sound sensible re waiting for a debrief and considering another, and I can’t imagine not having an open family to support me - I whatsapped my wound to my sister so she could tell me what a warrior I am , and my mum had a similar delivery so was great to talk to during recovery as she really got it. You’ve done brilliantly to get through it without a tribe of empathetic female over-sharers!!

I think the ‘extended’ bit just means they had to make a long cut: mine goes diagonally across my perineum then into my bum cheek past my anus (yuck, sorry). Felt like I’d be ruined forever at the time, but even though some of the stitches burst and it got infected and was generally dreadful, it really is fine now.