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Breastfeeding troubles at 12 weeks ( starting two weeks ago). On the verge of a breakdown

13 replies

womanofthesun · 07/08/2018 22:09

For the past two weeks, my 11+6 week, exclusively breastfed baby hasn't been feeding as frequently as usually, and this has been accompanied by a general loss of interest in the breast/feeding. Other than that, he's normal in himself - same old smiley, alert, happy baby (when he's not having a gassy episode, but he's always been gassy). His number of feeds throughout the day have decreased quite a bit, and I have to wake him to feed him (which can take hours), whereas he' used to show interest in feeding and I'd just feed on demand - responding to his cues. When we do skin-to-skin, he doesn't seem phased by the breast, whereas before he's latch willingly when he was ready. He now almost never latches willingly. His nappies are also not as as saturated as they used to be (confirming that he isn't consuming as much as he used to) - often producing 5/6 wet ones, but not as heavy as they were. He very rarely shows signs of hunger, too.

I'm becoming increasingly concerned about how much milk he's getting and his growth (although he does seem to be gaining adequate weight - I weigh him often). I'm also concerned about my milk supply, seeing as he's feeding a fair bit less than he used to. I'm even scared to express to keep my milk supply up, as it seems that he's LESS interested in the breast when my breasts are soft - so it almost HELPS when they're full/engorged (he seems to have a harder time latching when they're soft, as if he got used to shape of my nipple when my breasts were full... it also seems like he has a harder time getting the milk out when my bread are soft, and so he gives up in frustration). As my supply is starting to regulate, my breasts are softer a lot more often. The fact that it's starting to regulate also means that his feeding habits are crucial to the amount of milk my body thinks it needs to produce - I don't want my supply to dwindle as it'll worsen the problem!

I saw a lactation consultant recently and she confirmed tongue tie. NHS no longer offer TT division (recently cut funding for it), so only option is private. Thing is, I can't afford it right now - nor the cranial osteopathic treatment baby is recommended to have following the TT division procedure! I'm really stressing and worrying that my baby isn't receiving enough milk. Formula is a scary thought for me as I'm vegan and is important to me to raise my son vegan (formula isn't vegan, and I wouldn't be comfortable giving him those soy formulas either as soy isn't exactly healthy and contains a lot of oestrogen - not good for male babies, especially).

My head is all over the place. I don't know what to do. Seems I can only feed him when he's half asleep. I'm scared he'll lose weight. He's also been dry-retching a lot lately which points to reflux? If he's always had tongue tie I don't know why this only became a problem two weeks ago.

I miss the days where he'd show signs of hunger and an interest in the breast - and latch willingly. Now I'm having to fight for hours to get him to feed. I'm crying as I type this. I also don't want to force him to feed as I don't want him to develop some kind of aversion to the breast (which I'm already fearing he has, although I can't imagine why - or how it would've happened). I feel like I'm failing. I can't even give him expressed milk because 1, I produce very little when expressing (baby is much better at getting milk out than any pump seems to be), and 2, he's never taken a bottle.

Sorry about poor grammar and vocabulary - I'm literally just spewing my thoughts now.

I don't know what to do. Any advice will be helpful. I'm terrified. Anxiety is sky high.

It's 22:05 and my baby hasn't had a proper feed since 15:11. I've been struggling to feed him since 16:11. Now he's asleep. He kept dry-fetching when I tried to feed him, and pulling off the breast. The dry-retching thing is very recent. The clock is ticking and I'm fearing a malnourished, dehydrated baby and a non-existent milk supply.

I feel like a terrible, failing mother. I really, really want to make breastfeeding work. I'm not of those annoying, vegan, 'natural' people and breastfeeding is so, so important to me. Formula isn't vegan and so goes totally against all of my morals and ideals in terms of how I'd planned to raise my child, diet-wise. My heart is racing with anxiety. Feels like my whole world is crashing beneath my feed. I mean feet - gah!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
womanofthesun · 07/08/2018 22:13

Typo in the last paragraph - meant to be "I'm one of those annoying..." *

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 07/08/2018 22:15

My babies never fed for hours and hours, a friend also reports an efficient feeder so not all babies take hours over it. Yours may just be getting what he needs quicker now he knows what he’s doing.

With regards to the nappies, have you gone up a size? I found they didn’t feel as wet after going up a size - most likely due to them being a higher absorbency.

Try not to stress, baby will pick up on it and it’ll do neither of you any good (easy to say, I know). Don’t weigh him all the time - I honk the recommend every 4 weeks after they’re 3 months old.

LapinR0se · 07/08/2018 22:15

This all sounds incredibly stressful. Has your baby ever had a bottle?

Marmite27 · 07/08/2018 22:16

I honk Hmm obviously it should be I think

womanofthesun · 07/08/2018 22:23

Marmite21 thanks for the reassurance! My baby's always been a quick, efficient feeder (since day 1). It's the length of time between (not of) feeds that I'm concerned about 😖

You could be right about the absorbency being better for bigger nappies. He did recently go up a size, yes!

I know, the weighing thing has become a bit neurotic.

LapinRO nope - we've tried it, never worked. It is stressful, but only recently. Two weeks ago, I was having a completely different breastfeeding experience!

What's odd is that within this two weeks, there was a break where things went back to normal for a few days - then it went straight back to this! I have no idea what's causing it!

OP posts:
womanofthesun · 07/08/2018 22:25

Marmite27 ^

OP posts:
Redcliff · 07/08/2018 22:26

As long as he's putting on weight I'm sure he's feeding enough. I found breastfeeding support line really helpful and reassuring - might be worth a call?

Dannygirl · 07/08/2018 22:28

I am sorry you find yourself feeling so worried, baby feeding can be incredibly stressful and I remember that feeling so well. If he is gaining adequate weight that’s brilliant but personally I would be concerned about the dry fetching and the tongue tie. Can you go back to your GP/Health visitor/Breastfeeding support group - if there is one near you - and get some advice? I totally respect your choice, and I breastfed my babies too, but I also strongly believe that the single most important thing is that babies are well fed and thriving - no matter whether by breast or bottle. Do you have anyone who can support you in real life? Sending hugs xxx

northdownmummy · 07/08/2018 22:32

At 12 weeks you've possibly just come through a growth spurt and are settling into s new feeding pattern. Also hell be more alwrt amd interested i the world around which can mean distracted feeds.
Have you tried taking a say or two to go back to basics. Do nothing but made in bed or on the sofa, lots of skin to skin and free boob access?
I know it's easier said than done, but if his weight gain is fine then give yourself a break

cholka · 07/08/2018 22:36

Argh, I remember the horror!

Agreed if weight is ok then try not to worry. They go through all kinds of stuff that impacts feeding.

I would say that having formula as a back up is better than tying yourself in knots like this, even if it's the soy stuff. Do what you have to do to get through.

Cyw2018 · 07/08/2018 22:37

Couple of points...

Some babies become very efficient feeders. My daughter has very short bursts at the breast during the day, I think she hasn't taken much in at all, and then she vomits and I realise justs how much she has fed in a really short time.

My daughter's feeding pattern fluctuates wildly (as does her sleep pattern!!), One week she will be having a feeding frenzy, the next it will be hardly at all, and I will become massively engorged, get really forceful let down spraying milk everywhere and on two occasions got mastitis. So I think fluctuations in feeding pattern are normal.

If he is gaining weight and wetting nappies he is safe, just relax, next week things may well have all changed again.

dontforgetbilly · 07/08/2018 22:49

Please speak to your HV/breastfeeding support soon, it is so easy to overthink everything and get wound up when it is likely just a natural shift in his feeding pattern.
Things that spring to mind are:
Are you in part of the country that has been very hot, if he is having small amounts regularly for thirst then may not need a "proper feed" as regularly. On the same line if he is sweating it could be a reason for peeing less.
As said above, may just be a natural pattern change for him, if he isn't showing signs of distress then he is unlikely hungry.
He may be coming down with a hug and just not interested.
As I said though, please speak to a professional because they will be in a much better position to assure you that you are doing great.
Until then try not to put too much pressure on yourself

dontforgetbilly · 07/08/2018 22:53

**bug not hug

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